Now, before I carry on with my story, I feel I need to debunk a common misconception about wasps. I’m sure you’ve been told in the past that, if a wasp ever takes an interest in you, the best thing to do is to remain perfectly still. Then, goes the advice, the wasp will quickly lose interest in you and fly away. If you ever are in a situation where a wasp has shown an interest in you DO NOT remain still, wasps are pure evil, if you remain still it makes you an easier target for them. Just to prove my point I’ll interject this entry’s main story with another wasp related story. When I was whatever age you are when you’re in Year 5 of primary school, another wasp showed interest in me. I remembered the ‘remain still’ strategy, so I did just that, and the wasp landed on my face, walked slowly over to my eye, stung it, and flew away. So never believe that wasps can be defeated by remaining still! It’s just as stupid as thinking you can stop a mugger with the same method.
Anyway, I was walking along and desperately trying to think of a way to stop these hateful insects from stinging me. Then I remembered something about wasps, (something that as this story will demonstrate is actually true!): they are attracted the way liquids shine, especially when in a bottle… And what do I always have on my person? Unfortunately, as it was a very hot day, I had taken my blazer off and was carrying it, so the pocket with my Trusty Water Bottle in was not easily accessible to me. This also meant that, not only my face, but my arms were exposed to their stinger too. I fumbled around the pockets of my blazer; all the while the wasps were landing on me more and more. Eventually, to my great relief, I got my water bottle out of my pocket and, instantly, I held it out as far away from me as I could. The wasps then stopped circling me, and started circling my water bottle. I quickly span around and threw my water bottle down the road so that it would be as far away from me as possible. As I had hoped, the wasps followed it and I was able to get home without a single sting.
Unfortunately, of course, this means I now do not have a water bottle. Luckily I can just buy a fresh one tomorrow, but the memory of the last one’s heroic sacrifice will never fade. So if you ever find yourself being tormented by wasps this summer, perhaps you could try this strategy to try and escape them.