(Thanks to a Waltons-insider that I know, I was able to get my hands on the script for John-Boy Walton’s as of yet unannounced reveal trailer for Super Smash Bros. Ultimate. I present it here in its unedited form. Please read, enjoy and await the release of this game with bated breath.)
[The camera pans over the trees and down towards the classic white house on Walton’s Mountain. What we’re seeing is identical to The Waltons Season 1 opening sequence, complete with the classic theme song – an attempt to misdirect the viewer into thinking that this is simply a trailer for The Waltons and not a Smash Bros. reveal.
We get the first clue that this is not simply the normal opening sequence when The Waltons logo appears in nice, crisp HD. It is also the white colouration used from Season 2 onward, rather than Season 1’s yellow.
The camera zooms into John-Boy’s bedroom window. Instead of cutting to the usual clip of him writing, as is usually the case, we cut to him puzzling over a letter. Instead of footage, we are now seeing ultra-realistic graphics which actually portray John-Boy with greater clarity than was possible with 1970s camera.
We see a close up of the letter in his hands and notice that it is sealed with the Smash Bros. emblem. We see his eyes as he opens it and a glowing light is reflected in them. Slowly the classic theme song fades away.
Cut to a shot of the house from the outside.]
JOHN-BOY: YAA-HOO!
[Camera now shows John-Boy running excitedly down the run, away from his house. Pan to a confused looked Zebulon and Esther, who merely shrug and shake their head.
What we see now is gameplay footage. John-Boy is still running, just as he was a second ago, but is now on the Battlefield stage. He seamlessly falls into a sliding kick and the camera zooms out to show that he is sliding towards Link, Bowser and Ridley – all of whom are launched off screen.
John-Boy then stops and the camera zooms in on him dramatically, capturing him in a heroic pose. The background goes completely brown and words appear on-screen.]
Caption: John-Boy Walton Says Goodnight!
A remix of The Waltons theme song begins to play, it is much more intense than any we have heard before. What follows is a montage of clips. Corrin is standing ready to attack, when John-Boy jumps onto him from off screen, pinning him to the ground. Mario runs towards John-Boy, but suddenly Blue the Mule appears and bucks wildly, launching him away. Wario and John-Boy stand side by side, Wario gets onto the Wario Bike and starts driving away, John-Boy immediately after gets into his beige car and starts driving in the same direction, only more quickly. In an act of reverse book-burning, Bowser breaths fire on John-Boy, who is unscathed and then reached into the flames and pulls out a German Bible, which he then throws at Bowser. After this last clip, the music comes to a finale and the Super Smash Bros. Ultimate logo appears on screen.
One last clip is played. John-Boy and Donkey Kong are standing side by side.]
JOHN-BOY: (shrugs) I reckon I seen better days on the mountain. (a taunt)
[Donkey Kong responds with his usual shrugging taunt.
Cut to Sakurai sitting in the studio. Smash Bros. music plays quietly in the background.]
SAKURAI: Hello. I’m Masahiro Sakurai of Sora Ltd. I am delighted to reveal to you all that John-Boy Walton of the classic television show The Waltons has finally been added to Smash. Ever since the days of Super Smash Bros. Melee he has been a highly requested character, so I hope that you will be pleased with his inclusion in Super Smash Bros. Ultimate.
I must make a confession to you all. He was the true winner of the Smash Ballot, but unfortunately, we were unable to implement him as a playable character due to licensing issues with Warner Bros. Studios. After a long process of negotiation, John-Boy has finally earned the spot in this game that he always deserved.
Fans of The Waltons Season 8 and Season 9 may be concerned that the trailer only showed John-Boy as portrayed by the actor Richard Thomas, while many grew to love him during the brief stint in which he was portrayed by Robert Wightman. Please put your concerns to rest, as Robert Wightman’s portrayal will be included as an alternate outfit [cut to a character select screen where the player switches from Richard Thomas to Robert Wightman, then both of them are shown on screen together at once.]
One last little treat we have for you, is his Final Smash, which recreates the iconic “goodnight” scene from the end of each episode. All characters are transported to the Walton house and John-Boy says goodnight to them all. Back on the battle field, they are all fast asleep and vulnerable to John-Boy’s attacks.
As always, his family and friends are there to support him and John, Olivia, Esther, Zebulon and even all of his brothers and sisters appears as Assist Trophies [a quick clip of each character.] And there are even some surprise appearances [clip of John-Boy using Rover the Peacock as his recovery move.]
We are excited to be able to bring you this new update. Until next time, all I can say is “Goodnight, everybody!”
[Sakurai bows. Cut to black. Copyright notices.]
