10 Reasons Being an MDSA is a Very Dangerous Job

As yesterday was my last day as an MDSA, I thought this would be a suitable entry. I think MDSA stands for ‘mid-day supervisor assistant’ or something like that, but I’ve never been told, I’m just guessing. Basically I just clean up after children while they eat lunch.

1. If you’re walking along with your water bottle you might accidentally drop it in brown sludge, not notice that you dropped it in brown sludge, and then get brown sludge in your mouth when you try and have a drink.
2. Sometimes the children will steal your litter picking claw. Then they might pick up an old snotty tissue from the floor and smear it on your face.
3. When you’re out cleaning the field, you carry a bin bag so that the children can walk over and put rubbish in the bag. However, some children are very lazy, and they don’t want to walk all the way to you, or to wait for you to get to them, so they just throw rubbish at you.
4. Some of the stupider children don’t realise when a bin bag hasn’t been properly put in a bin, so then they throw drinks in there and other slimy foods and you have to handle a grossly slimy bag.
5. Sometimes a gang of children asks you for money every day, as they say, they do ‘need it’ so there’s nothing you can do but give it to them.
6. In the past, the manager of the MDSAs was a very angry woman (she’s mellowed since I filed a complaint) and sometimes she liked to throw chairs at people.
7. Fat children are very hungry things, sometimes they will bite you.
8. The crazy girls will do disturbing sexual things to upset you, for example sitting, in a skirt, with their legs wide open and placing a pile of rubbish for you to pick up between their legs.
9. People, especially the fat kids, like to bear hug you. All you can do is hope they let go.
10. The crazier ones will ask you to bend over to get something far away, so they can photograph your backside and upload the photo onto whatever social networking site they like to use.

Having said all of that that, I did enjoy the money, and I did make a new friend from it all, so it wasn’t too bad.

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