Stalker

One of the excellent things about my job is the fact that I work in Bath. I love Bath and every day on my lunch break I have a nice hour long walk around the city. Just the other day I had quite an unusual experience during my daily stroll through the streets. I was going through a narrow alley when I found myself behind a man who was walking along very slowly. Unexpectedly, he stopped walking and turned around to face me.

“Why the flonk have you been stalking me?” he said, rather aggressively, and let me tell you that I’m using ‘flonk’ as a substitute for a more offensive word!

“Oh, I’m not staking you,” I said, “just making my way back to work after my lunch break.”

“Flonk off, mate! You’ve been following me all week!” he insisted.

“I don’t believe I’ve ever seen you before in my life,” I said.

“Do you fancy me, is that it?”

“I’m afraid not,” I said. “Perhaps you’re thinking of somebody else?”

“No, it’s you, you’ve been stalking me for weeks! You’re a poof. You fancy me, don’t you?”

“This is a rather amusing mix up,” I said, smiling, “but, I should probably be getting back to work.”

“But you do fancy me though, mate. Do you want my body?”

“No, I’m afraid…”

“Ahhhh,” he said, smiling, “I’m messing with you mate. A wind up.”

“Oh, I see,” I said and smiled. “Very good.”

“It’s great to meet you, mate,” he said and held out his hand for me to shake it.

“Thank you, it was nice to meet you too,” I said and shook his hand. He didn’t seem to want to let go of my hand after he had hold of it, but I eventually wriggled free, said goodbye and carried on on my way back to work! I don’t believe I had ever seen that man before, but my brief conversation with him was certainly very unusual and, perhaps, maybe even a little entertaining.

(Don’t miss today’s Finger Puppet Show!)

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