Elaborate Spam

This is an extra post today which I’m making due to what I found in my spam folder on AOL. Usually spam’ll tell me I need to hold a few million dollars for a Nigerian prince for a few months, or be from a ‘dying’ woman who wants to give her fortunes away randomly. But today I got a spam message which quite impressed me, mainly due to how elaborate it was, here it is:

Federal Bureau Of Investigation Intelligence Field Unit J. Edgar Hoover Building 935 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW Washington , D.C. Urgent Attention: I am special Agent John Edward from the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) intelligence unit; we have just intercepted (2) trunk boxes at JFK airport New York , we are on the verge of moving them to our bureau head quarters. We started monitoring and checkmating movement of consignments after the killing of Al-Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden, many people are virtually involve in sponsorship of terrorism knowingly and unknowingly since they participate in unsolicited and security unchecked transactions which sometimes the aftermath effect of unclaimed funds becomes wheel power for terrorist sponsorship. We have scanned those two trunk boxes and discovered the value is $5.7 Million Dollars and the backup document bears your name as the receiver of the money contained in the boxes and your email address is on the delivery manifest booklet plastered on the two trunk boxes , investigations / interrogation carried out on the diplomat that accompanied the boxes into the united states has it that he was to deliver this funds to your residence as payment which was due to you as unpaid lottery .Our priorities are tactically stated below. Some people have been victimizing over the years but our inception has corrected worst crime situations in and outside American Protect the United States and the rest of the world from terrorist attacks (see counter-terrorism);Protect the United States against foreign intelligence operations and espionage (see counter-intelligence); Protect the United States against cyber-based attacks and high-technology crimes (see cyber-warfare); Combat public corruption at all levels; Protect civil rights; Combat transnational/national criminal organizations and enterprises (see organized crime); Combat major white-collar crime; Combat significant violent crime; Support federal, state, local and international partners; We checked all legal documents in the boxes, and were about to release the consignments to the diplomat, when we found out that the boxes lack two very important documents Legal Clearance Certificate and Fund Ownership Certificate which as a result, the boxes was kept under security vault until you provide those required compulsory demanded due process documents According to section 229 subsection 31 of the 1991 constitution in tax payment, your consignment lacks proof of ownership certificate and legal clearance certificate from the joint team of the IRS and homeland security, and there for, you must contact us for direction and advise on how to procure the certificates, so that you can be relieved of the charges of evading tax and consignment abandonment which is a punishable offense under section 12 subsection 441 of constitution on tax evasion and unsolicited movement of consignments to any country all over the world. You are required within the next 72hours to secure those above mentioned certificates or face the legal consequence defined for such delivery infringement, to avoid interrogation and prosecution in the court of law for money laundry and sponsorship of terrorism. We have investigative jurisdiction over every crime both in and outside United States . Also, you must not contact any other bank or persons in Nigeria , the United Kingdom or any part of the world for any payment, because your payment is presently under our custody here in United States of America . Please don’t respond to any FBI message without this security code (FBI/WOR/CMM). We shall direct you on the process of who to contact after extensive investigation. Yours in service Agent John Edward, Regional Director Federal Bureau Of Investigation Intelligence Field Unit J. Edgar Hoover Building 935 Pennsylvania Avenue, Nw Washington , D.C. 20535-0001, USA”

(it was actually laid of in paragraphs but pasting it here seems to have changed that).

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