I had better put a warning at the start of this anecdote. I’m not writing about anything sexually explicit that actually happened, but this anecdote will contain the suggestion of sexually explicit activity, so, you have been warned! I hope I don’t damage the family friendly image of this blog.
    In 2009 I was in one of my GCSE Media Studies classes. These classes were very nice, and I shared them with my friend George Moore, but, I think he must have been away on this day, because I can’t remember him being here while this happened. Or, maybe he was there and he just didn’t do anything.
    Back then I had a pair of trousers which had broken pockets. They’d been hanging up on the clothes line and the dog had decided to eat the pockets for whatever reason, and so there was just a hole in them. If I were to put my hand into my pocket, I’d just end up touching my leg, so, as I’m sure you can imagine they weren’t awfully handy. It did have its upsides though.
    During that particular Media lesson, I had an itch on my leg, so, using the pocket hole, I could just scratch it directly. What a nice relief.
    “Woah, Adam, what are you doing?” said a student behind me.
    “Oh, I’ve just got an itchy leg. I was scratching it,” I said.
    “No you weren’t,” he said. “You were just masturbating!”
    “I hardly think that would be appropriate for school, would it?” I said. I pulled my hand out of my pocket and the hole in it was revealed.
    “You’ve even cut a hole in your pocket. That’s disgusting.” And he did seem quite disgusted.
    “No, it’s not disgusting! Don’t worry, I really was just scratching my leg,” I said, trying to reassure him.
    “Everyone, Adam was just masturbating in the middle of class!” he shouted. A lot of people turned to look at me.
    Now, this is why I don’t think George was there that day, I’m sure he’d have had something to say about it. He’d probably have defended me. Indeed, the class was mainly full of people I didn’t know very well and there were lots of disapproving remarks.
    “I really wasn’t,” I said, a little sadly. There was one person in the class who I had a blossoming friendship with. Surely she would believe me?
    “That’s really disgusting Adam.”
    I guess not.

(Don’t miss today’s Finger Puppet Show!)

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