You’re Doing It Wrong

I remember one time, back in 2008, I was at my friend Milo Goodspeed’s house and my friend Elliott Egan was there as well. I was lying (fully dressed and everything) on a bed, while the pair of them discussed plans for the day. Once they were done, Milo reached into a cupboard and pulled out a magazine. He flicked through to find a specific page.
    “Here ya go, Randall,” he said as he handed it to me. “I want you to look at this.”
    It seemed that my friend’s magazine was one which contained naked ladies. The specific page he’d given me showed a woman who was either naked, topless, or in her underwear, I don’t really remember. What I do remember, is that she was wearing a pair of particularly sparkly shoes; they were all bright, slivery and glittery. Very pretty!
    “That’s quite an interesting pair of shoes that woman has on. I can imagine that they must have cost her an awfully large amount of money… Then again, she is a professional model; I expect she can afford it! Quite a good job, probably, although, it must be annoying to have to constantly diet and what not,” I said.
    “Ah, Randall, you’re doing it wrong!” Milo complained. “You can’t do anything right.”
    “What am I supposed to do?” I asked.
    “Just enjoy it?”
    “Oh, I see, I see!” I stared at the picture for a while, trying to follow his suggestion. After a few seconds, I realised he was looking at me, so I quickly added, “er, that’s very nice!”
    But he wasn’t very happy with my performance, and so he took the magazine away again. I can’t say I was unhappy with that.

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