Final Time in the Clubs

Last night I made my third visit to the night clubs of Bath, this time in celebration of getting good grades on results day. Now, after the previous two visits Elliott Egan has insisted that I have some kind of secret ‘gift’ that attracts members of the opposite sex to me. I thought “Oh, well it’s just a coincidence that those females (and males) came after me when I went to this clubs in the past; Egan will see that he’s wrong when nobody does that this time…” However, when I did go to the club (Po-Na-Na it was called), which was after going to the bar nicknamed Revs; I was almost immediately proved wrong.

When I got there it was fairly early so the dance-floor was mostly empty, it was just me, a few people I knew and a few random females that I didn’t know. I started dancing very slightly, head bobbing and things like that, and within five minutes of being out on the dance floor, a random female put her arm up around my neck and started dancing very close to me, rubbing against me even. Now, this was much more than any of them had done previously, so I had to quickly think of a way out of the situation. In a past entry, I’ve mentioned the commonly told technique of getting wasps to leave you alone (to ignore them, or alternatively to remain still) so I ignored her and carried on as if she wasn’t there. This technique didn’t work, just like it doesn’t work on wasps, and the random female instead got even more close to me by wrapping both arms around me.

Things were getting drastic, this female had her hands all over me and was dancing rubbing her body against mine, I couldn’t think of any escape. Eventually I thought of a way to shake her off (quite literally); I just started shaking around as if I was having some kind of seizure and she let go of me, so I quickly used that as a chance to escape! I ran to the seats in the bar area of the club and sat down with some people, the dance floor wouldn’t be a safe place to go… After a little while I went outside because I didn’t really like it in there and waited until it was time to leave… It wasn’t that good a night.

On the bright side, however, I got some nice cheese and chips from a burger stand AND Egan drunkenly called me ‘the nicest man in the world’ so that kind of made up for it. I doubt, though, that I will be going there again, at least not any time soon.

This entry was posted in Anecdotes. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *