One day, back in early 2009, I had just finished a Maths lesson and was heading out for the morning break. In my Maths lessons, I used to sit next to my friend Sarah Kryworuczka and on this particular day we had had some kind of falling out with each other. I can’t remember the cause of this falling out because, quite strangely, the pair of us seemed to have small meaningless disputes all the time. It was almost as if we enjoyed arguing with one another, which is silly, because arguing is not a fun pass time. If I had to guess though, it might have been over her criticising the amount I move my face during conversation… That may well be wrong though.
    Anywho, as the pair of us wandered out of the lesson we were bickering back and forth with one another. The argument went on until we got to the spot where our circle of friends would go during the breaks. I had a very good reason for stopping too.
    “My goodness,” I said, “You can be so terribly rude and annoying, I don’t understand why people tolerate it. Please stop talking to me.”
    “Oh, just listen to yourself Adam, you sound like a human dictionary!” she replied.
    “Do I?” I asked, all annoyance at her now gone. “Thank you very much!”
    “It wasn’t a compliment, you know…”
    “Well, I took it as one!” and then I smiled happily, she smiled in return. The meaningless dispute was over, and I’d had a nice compliment about the capacity of my vocabulary (couldn’t resist making that overly wordy!). But, yes, anyway, I suppose I would have to say that’s the story of my favourite insult!

(I realised after I started writing this that I kind of wrote about this once before, quite a while ago. This other account, however, is slightly fictionalised as it combines this story with one where I very violently threw a shoe at her in anger.)

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