One time several years ago I attended one of those crazy alcohol fuelled parties that my friends very much enjoy. At this particular party I was with my friends Ben Wood and Sarah Kryworuczka, both of whom were drinking shots of vodka (unlike me, water was good enough for me.) Ben, back then, liked to drink vodka as it quickly got him drunk and he could subdue its strong taste with a soft drink like coke or lemonade. However, at this time Ben was not drunk, but Sarah was beginning to become rather intoxicated.

As Sarah was drunk, Ben and I were teasing and playing slight pranks on her, this may sound slightly immoral, but as you shall see if you continue, karma soon got to me and justice was served. I grabbed a shot glass and put in it the tiniest drop of coke and filled the rest with vodka, and then found Sarah and told her to drink it, falsely assuring her that it was only a shot of coke.

Unfortunately for me, this prank did not turn out quite as I had imagined it would as Sarah looked at it and said “That’s not coke” but, clutching at straws I responded by saying “Yes it is, it’s a shot of pure coke!” but my insistence only made Sarah angry and she simply shouted “no it’s not!” but, in her drunken state, words were not enough for Sarah. In a brief fit of anger, she quickly moved the hand with the shot in forward and poured it into my eye. When I reacted with extreme pain (and it was very painful, it was worse than a wasp sting) she must have felt a twinge of guilt and so grabbed me and brought me over to the kitchen sink. There, she turned on the cold tap as powerfully as it would go, and put my head violently under it to ‘rinse out [my] eye’. However, being face up under a powerfully flowing tap doesn’t really rinse out your eyes; it actually just drowns you under a fast flow of water… Luckily I was able to escape from the tap, but I was very wet and my eye still stung…

So I suppose that the moral of this story is that you should never take advantage of drunk people or take vodka shots through the eye.

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