Doctor Who: The World Shapers

This is the second volume of the Sixth Doctor’s adventures in Doctor Who Magazine. Along with Peri and Frobisher, the Doctor has some pretty cool adventures in this one – with my favourite seeing the return of Jamie McCrimmon alongside the Cybermen.

Here’s an overview of each story in the collection.

Exodus by Alan McKenzie

This is a story mostly set inside the TARDIS and I always enjoy stories that do that. While clearing up, the Doctor and friends discover a ship full of refugees hiding within the ship – which of course presents quite a mystery. It’s a cool concept and sets of the storyline for the next couple of strips too.

Revelation! by Alan McKenzie

Where did the refugees come from in the previous story? The Doctor, Peri, and Frobisher travel to the planet Sylvaniar to find out what was going on at their home planet. Here they become enthralled in a murder mystery with scientists. The ending included an unexpected appearance of an old foe…

Genesis! by Alan McKenzie (adapted by John Ridgway)

The Cybermen were behind the problems on Sylvaniar and now they must be stopped! This last story actually felt like a little bit of an anticlimax – both in the way that the Cybermen were used and in how they were defeated. It’s still nice to see them though, drawn in their classic 80s design.

Nature of the Beast! by Simon Furman

Basically, it’s a story of the TARDIS team coming up against a werewolf-like creature – except that while it might be expected to follow a fairly generic plot trajectory, it ends up having a rather interesting twist. A good, fun, standalone adventure.

Time Bomb by Jamie Delano

The Doctor and Frobisher have left Peri to see a baseball game, and while she does that, the TARDIS is attacked by a time cannon. With temporal weapons involved, all of the structure of history is on the line – and indeed, the natural history of Earth, along with Peri, actually seems to be been lost due to interference. A good high-steaks story based around interesting concepts.

Salad Daze by Simon Furman

After Peri’s absence from the last story, Frobisher is absent from this one. Peri tries to encourage the Doctor to eat healthy food, but he acts like a child and doesn’t want to, so he then uses a device that causes Peri to enter a fantasy world where she is terrorised by salad, so when she comes back, she’s less keen on it. A really silly one, but I can’t help but feel fond of it precisely because it is so silly.

Changes by Grant Morrison

A really cool story about a shape-shifting predator getting loose in the TARDIS. All the action takes place in the ship and I think it was definitely an influence on what came later – specifically, there was a moment that strongly reminded me of Journey to the Centre of the TARDIS. Meanwhile, it also introduces the TARDIS zoo, which is a collection of endangered animals that the Doctor has saved from extinction so that he can eventually rehome them. My second favourite in the collection.

Profits of Doom by Mike Collins

The Doctor, Peri, and Frobisher arrive on a colony ship filled with humans in suspended animation – in theory they are going to make a home on a new world, but the reality is that they’ve been set up for another purpose. Not bad by any means, but one of the least exciting stories in the collection.

The Gift by Jamie Delano

The story is all about robots, with a society on the brink of collapse because of them self-replicating. I thought the backstory of the robots was well written out and the setting well-developed. It definitely helped that this was one of the longer ones in the collection. Probably my third favourite of them all.

The World Shapers by Grant Morrison

This was my favourite story in this volume. It not only sees the return of Jamie McCrimmon, but also the Cybermen. There are some hugely unexpected revelations about the planet Marinus, and a couple about the Cybermen – one of which completely changes the way I see them altogether. Very out there, but very cool. It also ends on a sombre note, and is one of the rare few stories to have been acknowledged within the TV show itself. A must-read.

It is notable that Grant Morrison, who happens to be a legend in the comics world, is the one who wrote the two best comics in the collection, but it is not a coincidence by any means. The Sixth Doctor, Peri, and Frobisher are a fun TARDIS team and it’s sad to see their time together come to an unceremonious end in this volume – it’s a quirky and unique part of Doctor Who history and one I definitely recommend to fans. As a nice little treat, it also includes an in-character interview with Frobisher which was fun to read.

Rating: 8.4/10

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Far From the Madding Crowd by Thomas Hardy

Thomas Hardy is a writer that has already won me over. The first two of his books were amain and I went into this with high expectations. While I didn’t enjoy it as much as Jude the Obscure or Tess of the d’Urbervilles, it was still a fantastic book that captured that same charm.

The storyline follows a character called Gabriel Oak. Oak is a farmer who ends up working for a woman named Bathsheba Everdene, who had previously declined his hand in marriage. We then get to see a rough love triangle form between Bathsheba and a toxic and creepy guy named Sergeant Troy, and a man named William Boldwood, who becomes kind of obsessed with her – both are attracted to Bathsheba, but her feelings towards them are complicated. Meanwhile, Oak stands on the sidelines and watches it unfold as she confides it all in him.

One of the best things about this novel is its setting. Aside from a brief bit that’s kind of about Bath (and as a resident of Bath, this delights me), it’s almost entirely set in a very isolated rural community. The introduction even makes reference to it being so cut off that going there was almost like going back in time. The feel of the countryside runs through the entire thing, and the author does a fantastic job of making it feel like a beautiful, if unforgiving, location. If you love novels to have a strong sense of place, this is something that you’re sure to really appreciate.

Of course, this being Thomas Hardy, he also does a brilliant job of highlighting the plight of women in his time. Stuck between Oak, Boldwood, and Troy, Bathsheba essentially has the option of choosing the lesser of three evils. There’s the attractive, but manipulative scumbag, the pathetic guy who is endlessly loyal, but can’t get over her rejection and feels entitled to her love, then there’s the “nice guy” who’s actually quite an unsympathetic jerk to her too.

The characters are all well fleshed out and it’s a drama I enjoyed seeing play out. It isn’t shy about showing the very severe consequences of women being used by men, and things come to a really shocking head towards the end. Because everyone was so well written, I even cared about the characters I actively disliked.

While the very final end wasn’t quite as good as it could have been, ultimately, this was an amazing piece of human drama against a beautiful countryside backdrop. If you’re a lover of classics, this is one to try.

Rating: 8/10

Buy it here.

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The Hound of the Baskervilles by Arthur Conan Doyle

This is the third full-length Sherlock Holmes novel, and the fifth book in the series when you count the short story collections. I’d argue that this is probably the most iconic one, and certainly the one that has had the biggest impact on popular culture. For me, as a big Holmes fan, it’s an absolute joy to read.

For those unfamiliar with the premise, it has Holmes and Watson called in to investigate a murder that was seemingly caused by a spectral hound, said to haunt a certain family. Set out in the cold dark moors, everything seems to indicate that this was a genuine supernatural encounter – though, of course, Holmes remains sceptical.

The idea of the rationally-minded person coming against things that seem to be beyond this world is one that so many stories have revisited in the many years since this novel’s original publication. I’m pretty sure that this was the first time that this trope was used, and if not, it was certainly the instance which propelled it forward in the general consciousness. Those who love literary history are sure to get a lot out of this.

I think one of the book’s biggest strengths is its atmosphere and tone. The barren feeling out in the moors is described perfectly, capturing that beautiful classic gothic novel vibe. It’s one of those books that’s perfect to curl up with late at night – partially because it’s genuinely quite creepy. Horror isn’t generally an aspect of the Sherlock Holmes stories, but when they try and be eerie, they do a fantastic job and this is a perfect example of that.

While Watson’s role in Sherlock Holmes stories can sometimes feel a little insignificant (with him mostly just relaying what Holmes does), this is one of the stories that uses him really well. Holmes is actually absent for quite a long time, leaving Watson to investigate on his own for a bit, and this is pretty great. I love Holmes, but I appreciate Watson getting the chance to play centre stage, and the aspect of Holmes being absent is actually a really interesting and important part of the plot.

Altogether, it’s one of my favourite Sherlock Holmes stories, and as the novels go, it’s certainly aged better than The Sign of Four. Even if you’ve never read another Sherlock Holmes story, you’d be able to enjoy this one, so I recommend it to all fans of Sherlock Holmes and classic novels.

Rating: 9.2/10

Buy it here.

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Charlie and the Chocolate Factory by Roald Dahl

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory is probably one of the most influential British children’s novels ever written. It’s a story that has had homage after homage in popular culture, and pretty much everybody has heard of the character, Willy Wonka. Though I never read the book as a child, I do enjoy Roald Dahl’s work, and it was one of those books that I felt I should try.

At the start, I loved it. Chocolate is delicious, and so much of the first half of the book is dedicated to how great chocolate is, and it talks about all kinds of delicious Willy Wonka inventions. Reading it, it’s easy to see that Roald Dahl must have loved chocolate himself. There’s a description of simply eating a chocolate bar at one point, and gosh, it makes me want to eat a chocolate bar. There’s also a chocolate river.

The second half, I enjoyed less so. It’s darkly funny throughout, but it has a preaching moralising aspect to it. The book’s protagonist, Charlie, goes on a tour of the chocolate factory along with a bunch of other kids. These other kids, while perhaps a little rude, all meet with a horrible fate as seemingly some kind of karmic retribution for their flaws… except their flaws are things like, they enjoy watching TV, or, they like to chew gum. Fortunately, none of them die, but gosh, it sure does feel a lot like Roald Dahl is just up on his soap box moaning about certain behaviours that frustrate him. It hasn’t really aged well at all and I just felt sad for the kids a lot of the time – even anxious for them.

The most uncomfortable thing is the Oompa Loompas. They survive in our popular culture and are thought of as these whimsical fantasy creatures… Unfortunately, their portrayal in the novel reads very much like colonialist exploitation, or even slavery. Indeed, I understand that Roald Dahl made changes to the book, because the first edition was even more problematic (even for it’s time), but even in this version, it’s hard for a progressive-minded adult not to feel weird about this.

There is a lot that I admire about Charlie and the Chocolate Factory – the descriptions of food are great, and the factory itself is a wonderful and enchanting setting that really captures that childhood feeling of the world potentially containing endless possibilities. Plus it’s genuinely funny, even for adults and literary fans will enjoy seeing the origins of things like the golden ticket. The problem is that Roald Dahl pushes his belief too much, and those beliefs are pretty dodgy, so it does spoil the book quite a bit.

Rating: 6/10

Buy it here.

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Star Trek: The Next Generation: Warped by Mike McMahan

The premise of this book is a bizarre, metatextual one: what if Star Trek: The Next Generation had had an eighth season, and that eighth season had been so incredibly bad that it had never been aired, and then someone had had the chance to watch these unreleased episodes and write an episode guide about them? It’s not your standard sci-fi franchise spin-off book, but it’s a lot of fun.

Originally the author, Mike McMahan, had a Twitter account which he dedicated to writing really silly Star Trek TNG story synopsise. Due to its popularity, he was able to publish an official book filled with these storylines, which he said was inspired by his love of the silly B storylines that real episodes of TNG have. It’s a nice, loving way of sending the series up, and it’s sure to appeal to fans.

So what kind of things do the characters get up to in this season? Well, Q sets up a timeloop where Barclay relives the same day over and over, to see if it’s possible for him to survive without the help of others, but he ends up comically dying every single time, sometimes in the most mundane ways (e.g. an ear infection spreads to his heart). In another, there’s a planet that ends up being entirely populated with Riker clones. In another, Q asks for Picard’s help in breaking up with Cleopatra, but then accidentally changes all of history, so then needs to mess the timeline up so badly that it all snaps back to normal.

Some of them, in particular the one about Q messing up the timeline, are things I’d have loved to have seen as actual light-hearted episodes of the show. Other times though, it goes too far down the path of being silly. Most notably, Data and Geordi are both always written as socially awkward losers who are extremely childlike – they’re complete parodies, and I know that’s a weird criticism since the whole thing is a general parody of TNG, but I think it’s funnier when the characters are close enough to their legitimate portrayal, but still in the absolute silliest storylines.

Still, as a fan of TNG and Star Trek in general, overall I found this book hilarious. There are so many laugh out loud moments that fans are going to love. It’s a weird combination of storylines that are so silly, they’d obviously never have existed, and those that could be just about plausible. Still, to its credit, even though I didn’t love all the episode ideas equally, not one of them failed to make me laugh. Also, one of the stories introduces a member of the Q continuum who goes by the name California Steve. I want that to be canon.

Rating: 8/10

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Castle in the Air by Diana Wynne Jones

This is the second book in the Howl series of novels. While it is set in the same universe as the first book, for a long time, it feels very much like an entirely unrelated story to Howl’s Moving Castle. You are introduced to a character called Abdullah who lives in Zanzib, a completely different country, and while Ingary is mentioned, you won’t find any familiar elements for quite a while.

The main character, Abdullah, is a simple carpet merchant who dreams of a better life, liking to imagine that he might actually be a prince, and not related to the family that he struggles to get on with. Of course, adventure soon comes his way, when he is sold a magic carpet… the only problem is that he can’t figure out the magic word to activate it, but somehow says it in his sleep.

He whooshes off to a beautiful garden, where he meets a woman called Flower-in-the-Night, and the two seem to got on really well – and she’s a princess too. Everything is going well, until a djinn swoops down and kidnaps her, which of course leads the sultan to believe that Abdullah himself has something to do with the disappearance. To prove his innocence, he heads out to find and rescue her.

Along the way, Abdullah is joined by an old soldier, who’s a wary character, uninterested in helping others – the two make a very different team to Howl and Sophie from the first book. Aside from that change in dynamic, the biggest difference is the fact that the story is much more focused this time. Abdullah is on a journey to rescue Flower-in-the-Night, while Sophie Hatter just kind of hobbled along with Howl, encountering one whimsical thing after the next.

In true Arabian Nights fashion, the story also features a Genie, who comes under the control of Abdullah. He also adopts a cat called Midnight. I can’t say a lot about either of them without spoiling anything, but the way that they were used was absolutely fantastic. Indeed, I might say that they contributed to my favourite part of the book.

While the book may seem standalone at first, towards the end in particular, you will get a lot more out of it if you read Howl’s Moving Castle first. Those who are put off by the huge differences should keep going, as you won’t be disappointed. While I personally prefer the charming whimsy of the first book, it’s clear that Diana Wynne Jones was going for a different style and feel for this one, and I can’t fault her for expanding her universe in that way. If you wanted the first book to be just a little more serious, then you might like this one even more. If you’re an Aladdin fan, then I think you’ll definitely love it, but regardless of your taste, I think it’s fair to say that this is a great fantasy adventure that should appeal to most fans of the genre.

Rating: 8.8/10

Buy it here.

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R.I.P. Jonathan Williams

This is an MS Paint sketch of my old friend, Jon Williams that I made as part of an image I made for International Friendship Day 2019. Sadly, today I attended Jon’s funeral – the first time that I have ever had to attend the funeral of a friend.

Though my memory is a touch hazy on this front, I believe Jon and I met in PE classes in 2004, the year in which we both started at The Corsham School. Although I absolutely hated PE classes, I have fond memories of chatting with him prior to having to do the awful bit (the exercise). Over the years, he and I would share several classes together, and though there aren’t any particular memories in my mind that make for interesting anecdotes, I hold on to various fragments of conversations, and most importantly of all, a feeling of trust, friendliness, and kindness. He was always such a pleasant person, and while I can remember lots of people saying mean things about one another (it’s what teenagers do – I was guilty of it too) I can’t remember anyone ever saying a bad word against Jon, and that’s probably because they’d have a pretty hard time finding anything bad to say.

Chatting with him was always easy and enjoyable, and though I have been known for talking about all manner of bizarre and eccentric things, I remember that he was always happy to engage with me and take me completely seriously even when talking about the silliest of things. I felt respected by him, and liked, and aren’t they the two most important ways that a person can make you feel?

I like to make a rule of keeping in touch with everybody who has been good to me, but I was less good at that immediately after leaving school, and for a few years, other than the odd interaction at parties, we didn’t have much interaction. Since 2011, I have arranged Christmas meals out with old friends, and although Jon wasn’t at the first few, he eventually became a regular guest, and he often came along to other meals I’d organise throughout the year too. It was great to be in touch with him, and to count him among my ‘current’ circle of friends once again.

In 2021, I came down with a very nasty case of COVID-19 and spent a huge amount of time confined to my bed (and, for a short time, a hospital bed). During that time, chatting online was one of the main ways that I filled my time, and I can remember talking to Jon about it online – he was, of course, very kind and supportive of my situation, so it was a pleasant distraction to talk with him.

Due to the pandemic, the last actual time that I saw Jon was at a Christmas meal at the end of 2019. I was supposed to see him at a meal towards the end of 2021, but he had a scheduling issue and wasn’t able to make it, which he felt bad about – I told him not to worry about it (as I never want friends to feel any pressure with regard to meeting up with me) and that we’d have plenty of opportunities to see one another in future. Sadly, of course, I would turn out to be quite wrong about that.

Towards the end of 2022, I started arranging that year’s Christmas meal, and messaged Jon to ask whether or not he would be able to come, emphasising that he could decide at the last minute, if that made it easier for him, or increased his chances of attending (as I knew it had been a factor before). He apologised, and said he wouldn’t be there. This would be the last message I would ever receive from him – I had intended to reply with a message saying that I was sorry he wouldn’t be there, and that I’d look forward to seeing him at a future get together, but I was given the news of his death before I could ever get back to him.

When you’ve been friends with some one for over a decade, and the friendship has survived a period of a couple years where you don’t see one another, you start to regard them as part of the furniture of life, so to speak. When they’re the same age as you, you imagine they’ll always be there. They’re a part of the family of friends that you think you’ll get to watch making their way through life. Even though you might only see them once or twice a year, once they’re gone, their sudden absence is felt pretty significantly – losing item of furniture in the house of life is a rattling and distressing experience.

I thought to myself “Gosh, I guess that’s all the time I’ll get with him” and I kept asking myself whether or not I’d done enough. My impression of him had been very positive, but would he have said the same? Did I bring enough joy into his life, during the time that we spent together. Well, during the funeral service I was honoured to be mentioned specifically by name for my role in his life (inviting him to the meals, and giving him a way to keep up with various other old friends), and while I may not have been one of his absolutely closest friends (nor he mine) we mattered to one another, and I can take solace from the fact that I had the privilege of knowing him and playing an important role in his life – as he played in mine.

Here’s a picture of an outing in summer 2017, with me and various friends, including Jon:

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It by Stephen King

This was a behemoth of a book that took me the better part of a year to read (as an aside, I am very glad I have multiple books on the go these days, rather than just one, like when I read Ulysses) and during that time, I had very mixed feelings. Sometimes I’d read a chapter and think “Wow, this did a really good job of capturing the bonds of friendship, what a good book”, other times I’d read a chapter and think “gosh, this is boring, why is this description of a river so long?” and sometimes I’d even think “oh my goodness, what is wrong with Stephen King, why did he write in a child orgy?”

So, for those who don’t know, It tells the story of a small, rural American town in which an otherworldly entity manifests and wrecks havoc on the population for its own satisfaction/survival… except nobody in the world, even the town’s citizens, ever seem to realise that there have been so many violent and horrific incident taking place there. Most iconically, ‘It’ takes the form of Pennywise the clown, who comes after the main group of characters (seven kids who call themselves The Losers Club). The story jumps around in time, and we see them learning about It and getting ready to face It as children, as well as returning to their hometown as wary adults because It seems to have returned.

There are some bits about how friendships grow and change after childhood, but how they remain important into adulthood which I thought were quite beautiful. Indeed, many of the bits about them becoming friends and whiling away their time in childish ways were so appealing to me, that I sometimes thought it didn’t need the supernatural horror at all. The human drama was well-written and I felt invested in all of their relationships – by far, this was my favourite thing about It.

Something that was more hit and miss, was the story’s side-steps. There were various flashbacks and scenes of horrific events caused by It, which weren’t directly connected to the main storyline. Some were quite interesting, others were quite bland, and some felt needlessly gratuitous. What I didn’t like, for example, were stories about homophobic or racial violence, which was attributed to the presence of It. The thing is, such awful things don’t need to be attributed to a supernatural evil, because they happen all the time in the real world, and using them to heighten the sense of horror surrounding the titular monster just feels a little bit too exploitive – putting violence against minority groups in there just for the shock factor.

Having said that, I don’t mean to accuse Stephen King of being racist or homophobic himself. Generally speaking, I would say the book is fairly progressive in that regard, because those violent acts of prejudice are always condemned – along with domestic violence too. So while I am glad to see these things being rightly criticised, even in a slightly older piece of writing, I’d still question using such awful real world horrors to primarily reinforce the evil of Pennywise. I am not against writers tackling these subjects by any means, but it felt just a little tasteless.

As for the horror itself – it was a little too in-your-face for me. The descriptions of the terrifying forms that It took were never particularly creepy in my mind. Some people, I’m sure, will get the shivers when they read descriptions of scary monsters and lots of gore, but I prefer horror that doesn’t show too much. Creepiness that only becomes apparent when you read between the lines. Having said that, I still felt some degree of tension during these scenes, because I cared about the characters and I didn’t want anything bad to happen to them.

I should also mention the infamous “child orgy” scene, which was really uncomfortable to read and completely unnecessary. I won’t spoil the full context as it’s near the end, but basically, the one female character in the main group of friends has sex with all the male characters, one after the other, and they’re all around ten or eleven years old. There’s a really loose story reason for all this, which felt very forced, and I don’t think this should have been included. The ‘reason’ that it was included, which I won’t spoil, kind of conveys a rather old fashioned (and in my mind, harmful) attitude about sex.

Overall, I am glad that I read this book. There are several aspects of it that I really admire Stephen King for. There are also, however, several aspects that are irritating – long tangents and things that we know about in far too much detail (the whole history of a river, loads of details on the contents of one character’s medicine cabinet, etc). It can often feel annoying when you want the story to move on, but you’re stuck reading about some historic event. I think what Stephen King wanted to do, was make Derry (the book’s setting) really feel like a real location, but in the process, gave us far too much information, which pads the book out significantly. There are some nuggets in here, for sure, but mining through to find them will sometimes feel like a chore.

Rating: 6.9/10

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Lydia’s 2022

After posting my last blog post, I was touched to hear from my friend Lydia McNeil that she had been inspired to write a similar reflection based on her own year. She asked if I would be happy to publish it on my website, which, of course, I was. So here you go – the first guest post I’ve had in a while. Enjoy.

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I want to mention that it’s Adam and his bravery who inspired me to write this. Although it’s been a year of lessons, I feel that overall, it has been a good year and I feel positive and look forward to 2023.
This year, I’ve learnt that stating my needs in a kind, compassionate way is important if I want to have real and meaningful relationships with others. It has been a year of spiritual and therapeutic revelations, growth within relationships and confidence to start new hobbies.

I felt disconnected from myself at the beginning of the year. Feeling like I was coming out of restrictions, little time to flex my social muscles and then having Covid for New Year in 2021 was a difficult blow. I think I thrive being around other people who react to me kindly and gently and this was not one of those years. Then in 2022, my yoga course got off to a great start, despite my cat dying and dealing with some of the worst C-PTSD symptoms I’ve ever experienced.

The yoga course mitigated some of the other negative things I was experiencing. Going to a safe space, with incredibly brave individuals speaking about why they decided to start the yoga course was healing. Everyone then was incredibly understanding regarding my hypermobility, and just wanted to know more about it and supported me throughout. I’ve made some great friends on this course. Unfortunately, I had to quit in May due to my hypermobility, but will be joining again in January, focussing more on the meditations rather than the yoga. During this time, I also joined a reiki course, which allowed me to meet some great people and let out some old emotions.

The yoga course led me to a retreat in Italy, in April 2022, where I met my friend Natalie- who I went to visit in Berlin in November. This course also led me to seeking out a different kind of physical support, and I couldn’t have gotten through the year without my ongoing osteopath, Clare, and my new personal trainer Bobby! Bobby is amazing, and my body is feeling so much stronger with his help.

My other friends have also been supportive throughout the year. Sarah leaving in the summer was difficult and I know that I am trying to fill big boots in creating my house as a space for us all to let off some steam. But so far, all the board game nights have been very fun, and I look forward to more. I must thank Freya for providing some hilarious games and mad Articulate skills.

My ex-partner and I had some wonderful times together and I hope we get to reunite as friends in the future. He helped regarding my new ADHD diagnosis and was supportive regarding my C-PTSD symptoms. Under a caring eye, it’s been a place where many triggers have come up for the both of us. A mirror of each other’s shadow selves. Like an intensive therapy course.

Speaking about the ADHD diagnosis, it’s been up and down the last few months, trying out different medications. I feel like Goldilocks and the three bears, but with pills. I have a new therapist at the end of this week, and I think I want to try non-medicated methods like meditation, exercise, and therapy to get me through these symptoms for now. Vanessa was great at sending me ADHD material to give to work, and then I can’t help but mention that she wrote a book on speech and language therapy for kids. Woah! Vanessa and I always said that we would write a book together- she would do the illustrations and I’d do the writing- but I wouldn’t have sat around waiting for me either! It’s an incredible book, Vanessa is so talented and I’m so proud.

I couldn’t not mention that the last few months have been amazing because Hester took me to her singing on Monday’s, where I met Robbie, and we did an improv class together. I’ve met some great people through this improv class and improv is again very healing. You can just let out your silliness in a safe space and meet new friends. Next year we will be doing more of this, and I absolutely can’t wait to head down for more nights. Additionally, Hester looked after me through the worst of the breakup and I am grateful for this love and support.

There are so many more amazing things that have happened this year, not to say that it’s all been easy. It’s been a tough year emotionally, and I’ve been feeling open and raw like a wound that hasn’t started to scab. But it’s also been a place where I can let people in and be more transparent about my emotions (for the most part). Thank you to everyone who has made this year great. TO MORE ADVENTURES in 2023. Love Lydia.

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Reflecting on 2022

As I come towards the end of this year, I can’t help but think about how lucky I am. I pretty much have everything I wany in life – I work as a full time writer, make a comfortable living, and live with a wonderful, kind-hearted best friend who shares many interests with me, while having a large social circle made up of some of the very best people I’ve ever had the privilege of meeting. Outside of difficult to attain fantasies, like becoming a published novelist, what more could I ask for? And even that goal is something I am actively working towards.

The year has been filled with lots of moments that have meant quite a lot to me on an emotional level. In the early summer, I attended the 30th birthday party of my good friend Sarah. It was the first big group outing I’d attended since the advent of COVID-19, and having taken a long time to recover from it myself, the prospect of going there was a bit daunting – but I’m very glad I did, not just because it was an important celebration to mark an important milestone in the life of somebody that I love, but also because of a small moment when I was interacting with Sarah’s mother.

Unfortunately, I don’t know what her name is, because she introduced herself as “Sarah’s Mum” and when I introduced myself, she said “Ah, yes, I know all about you, Adam – you were Sarah’s saviour” which was a reference to the fact that she and I once worked under a particularly unlikeable employer and became friends under those stressful circumstances. It may sound a bit silly, but I was rather touched by the fact that anybody would ever mention me to their parents in such a positive way.

I think that in particular helps to reflect one of the best pieces of personal growth for me this year. I have always had a big circle of friends, but I don’t think I’ve often imagined that they placed much significance on my role in their life when I’m not around. This isn’t indicative of a lack of kindness or affection on the part of my friends, I think I’ve just always done a bad job of accurately determining my value to others. Not in a “Oh, nobody cares about me” sad kind of way, but in a more of a casual “they only care a little bit, but that’s perfectly fine and normal”.

The slow revelation that I actually matter quite a lot to a number of people wasn’t entirely borne out of that conversation with Sarah’s Mum, it’s just a good moment to illustrate the point. Really, lots of moments have helped to facilitate this – my friend Jess giving a (partially alcohol-fuelled) speech about how I important to her I am as we sat in a pub in London, being present for the wedding of my oldest friend, Davey, getting to befriend his wife, Laura, as well as Emilie, the wife of my second oldest friend, George, having my house friend Eilidh describe my as her best friend (which I don’t recall anyone doing before, certainly not in adulthood anyway). These are all highlights from this year, but really, it’s a mental destination I’ve been honing in on for years. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so confident, comfortable, or secure about these things.

However, as much as this year has been one with many positive aspects, in the last month in particular has had a very sombre aspect. An old friend of mine named Jon died unexpectedly at the start of December. I received the news right at the start of a festive meal out with a group of friends and was quite shaken by it. I decided not to disclose it to them at the time, because I wanted them all to be able to have a fun night out as they would have imagined, and in fairness, I wanted that for myself too. I know it’ll be different for everybody, but for me, being surrounded by so many of my very best friends was probably the best circumstance for me to receive that news. A part of me was sad and grieving, but another part of me was so thankful for all of them, and I was still able to have a good night with them all – inwardly appreciating their presence even more, following the reminder that my time with any of my friends is limited.

Jon was somebody that I had been good friends with while I was in school, but in adult life only saw once or twice a year, with loose online contact throughout the year. The loss won’t be quite so sad for me as it will be for his family members, or those who saw him every day, but he still crosses my mind daily since his untimely death. Like everyone, I want to do all I can to ensure that my friends have as nice a life as possible – if some misfortune befalls them, my instinct is to take them out to dinner, or buy them a treat to help them feel better… but what can I do when they died? On top of the feeling of loss, I had bizarre feeling of frustration. Arguably the most horrible thing of all had happened to somebody that I cared about, and there was absolutely nothing I could do to help them. Of course, that’s very arrogant, but not being able to do something for a friend who had met with misfortune was like having an itch I couldn’t scratch.

Jon’s parents would later get in touch with me for help in letting people know what had happened, and giving them information about the funeral. In their communications, they mentioned that he had always looked forward to the Christmas meals that I had arranged for my old school friends. When all was said and done, it gave me some solace to know that I had brought some positivity to his life – and by taking on the responsibility of relaying news of his death to people, I felt I had been given a unique opportunity to serve him one last time.

Does it sound callous of me to say that this doesn’t change the fact that I consider 2022 to have been a wonderful year? A part of me was, and is, sad at the loss of Jon, but another part of me remains happy because of all the good things I have in my life, and the wonderful experiences I’ve had throughout the year. Hiding from the heat wave in a London Pizza Hut with Mairi, playing some old video games at the C-Stick Arcade with Ben, watching an Alan Partridge live show with Rory, going to Sky Garden for a night out with Jess, or wandering the snow-covered streets with Eilidh – it’s all been fantastic. There’s a quote from The Office that is often shared on social media “I wish there was a way to know when you’re in the good old days” and the thing is, I know I’m in the good old days right now, and I hope I’ll get to stay in them for as long as possible.

To conclude, in no real order thank you to everyone: Eilidh, Stacey, Christopher, Greg, Rory, Neus, Malena, Chloe, Liam, Sarah, Edward, Oscar, Jess, Amy, Kat, Leo, Elissa, Stephanie, Lydia, Davey, Laura, George, Emilie, Sam, Sam, Sam, Kristen, Dalfino, Ben, Egan, Christie, Mairi, Hayley, Tasha, Richard, Kieran, Christian, Tom, and last my not least, my mother. You’ve all played a part in making this the best year of my life so far.

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