Some Grey Bloke

The videos by Some Grey Bloke on YouTube are made as if they were an average middle aged man making an online vlog. Most of them are very funny and he covers a large range of subjects: religion, social networking, relationships etc. Also, there are often videos made about current affairs. Here’s a link to the channel and here’s one of my favourite videos (based on the past ‘Swine Flu’ panic):
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Why Can’t You All Be Like Dalfino?

When I’m writing short stories (and other forms of fiction) one thing that I struggle with especially is thinking of names. What adds to this problem is that I can’t give my characters names which also happen to belong to my friends because then people may assume that the characters are either based on them or made in honour of them. While it isn’t really a problem is they think I named a character in honour of them, it is problematic if they believe that the character is somehow based on them. If people think a character is based on them I have to avoid making them bad because, obviously, I don’t want it to seem like I’m insulting them, but at the same time, I can’t make them too good either because then there’s the risk that my friends will think I’m secretly obsessed with them.


Here’s a list of all the normal every day names I can’t use anymore:
Ben
Chris
Davey
David
Elliott
George
Kristen
Laura
Mike
Naomi
Oscar
Rory
Sam
Samantha
Stacey


That’s, like, all of the most common ones! But then, take Dalfino, I’ve never known anybody with that name before and, most probably, I never will again either. So why can’t all of you have really unique names like Dalfino? Then it would be somewhat easier for me to think of names for fictional characters.
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Girlock Holmes

While on a walk with my brother yesterday, the pair of us were talking about random nonsense. During this random nonsense I thought of the name Girlock Holmes… Get it? A girl version of Sherlock Holmes. So, without further ado, here is the beautiful female version of our favourite detective: Girlock Holmes!
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The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword

PictureSkyward Sword is a prequel to the entire Zelda series and while the story isn’t too dissimilar to the storylines of the other games (Zelda is kidnapped, Link must travel around Hyrule searching for items in order to help find her and prevent evil rising) there are still a lot of reasons to buy this game

Firstly, in this game, Link lives in a village on a floating island in the sky (Skyloft) and, as such, to travel to other areas (also in the sky) he must ride on a giant flying bird. Of course, beneath the sky, there is also the usual Hyrule, but it’s segmented into three sections (unfortunately), but there is still a substantial amount of flying involved. Flying is, for the most part, fun, but can occasionally feel a little bit boring when you have a long distance to travel and you’re just flying through empty air.

Secondly, I think that the game puts quite a twist on the usual “go to one place, do it’s temple, repeat’ style of the other games. Sometimes you’re in the middle of one of the dungeons and you don’t even realise it! You also actually have to go back into a past dungeon in order to do something in there that you couldn’t do originally. Plus, there are these bits inside something called the Silent Realm which I think are really, really good, but, I wouldn’t like to spoil this for you.

However, there is one new feature which I don’t find particularly enjoyable. There are a number of times where you have to do specific movements with the Wii Remote in order to succeed in sword fights. It’s always quite clear what movement you have to do, so I do the correct thing, but it’s all very silly and often thinks I’m doing something else entirely. This can be very frustrating at times and would be avoided entirely if you used buttons. Having said that, there are other puzzles which involve motion controls which I really quite enjoyed (certain locks for example).

In conclusion, this game adds to and improves on the features of some of the past Zelda games, but also has a couple of downsides. The graphics are rather nice (a mix of Twilight Princess and Wind Waker style) which makes for some nice looking environments to explore. Also, as a final note, I think the relationship between Link and Zelda in this game is better than it has been in any other games, I know people like to ‘ship’ (as they say) this couple, but this is the first time I’ve believed they might have romantic inclinations towards each other and the game, in general, might be the most emotional in the Zelda world.

Rating: 9.2/10

Buy it here.

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The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time 3D

PictureFor the main details of the game, read the review of the original here. Now, I will be talking specifically about the changes to the game for its 3DS remake. I’ll go over the changes which are good, and those which are bad.

Good Changes:

  • The graphics are improved, strolling around in the Hylian wilderness is now even nicer than it was before! Some of the stranger looking things in the game also look much better too.
  • You can now replay boss battles! In the original, once you killed them they never came back.
  • I won’t spoil it, but, after you defeat the final boss, there is a lot more to do after beating the final boss in this one than in the original.
  • Obviously it’s portable now, so you can play this amazing game anywhere!
  • You can also play the whole thing in 3D which, sometimes, works very well.

Bad Changes:

  • The files no longer keep count of how many times you’ve died. This doesn’t bother me, but I know some people enjoy ‘no death runs’ and things like that. Without the death counter, there’s nothing to show for this.

Another change is that there is a Sheikah Stone in the game now. The Sheikah Stone will pretty much tell you how to solve every puzzle in every dungeon. You don’t HAVE to speak to him, but it’s there if you need it. I’m kind of neutral about this change. I never used it myself; I don’t think the game is hard enough to warrant it. It might be very useful for some people though.

On the whole, this is, I think, just a tiny bit better than the original, but there are barely any changes: 9.6/10

Buy it here.

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The Crazy Nymphomaniac Woman

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Relationships

One suggestion that’s been sitting in my suggestion box (please put things in it!) for a while has been to write an entry about relationships. For quite a while, I just left it, because, well, I didn’t really know what exactly I should write about it. But after talking about the subject with a friend of mine the other day, and thinking about it since, I decided that this could be a ‘bloggable’ subject. By relationships, I think I should mention before I continue, that I mean romantic relationships.
    My friend has quite a good point against the idea: most probably people would want to treat their friends equally, so why put somebody above everybody else? And I do believe this is a good point, it would be unfair to suddenly treat one person better than you treat everybody else. But at the same time, I do partially disagree. What if somebody does lots of nice things to you? Then it would be a little unfair of you not to return the favour. Well, that is assuming they’re not some person who does things for you even if you tell them not too.
    Furthermore, while a lot of pleasure can be gained from friendships, the sad truth is that quite often, after a while, you’ll probably find yourself in a situation where you can’t see them regularly anymore. As such, you would have to develop new friendships and go through this cycle over and over again. In my opinion, it would be nice to have a permanent partner, somebody you always stay together with, thus ensuring some consistency in your life while everything else changes. Of course, this ‘partner’ would have to have been somebody with whom you had already cultivated a very good friendship with so that you can be sure you can trust them and every other important thing like that. I think it would be nice to have a long-lasting, close relationship with somebody.
    Of course, there’s one thing I have yet to mention, something which is often linked with relationships of this kind, especially when it involved consenting adults: sex. Now, quite frankly, sex isn’t something which is all that appealing to me. Should I ever get a partner like I described, I’d be quite happy for sex never to come up at all. However, this seems to be quite unlikely. If I did have a partner, and they wanted to have sex, I suppose I would for their sake. I’d see it as a favour to them. Plus it would be a crucial activity should children ever be considered.
    So those’re my views on relationships. I suppose this may have turned out to be the most personal blog entry on here. Ah well, I’m not particularly bothered by that! And remember, put more things in the suggestion box!

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Five Stories

I decided that, today, I would post a small sample of my fictional writing! Here are five stories I think are better than a lot of my others, I’ve put quite a variety in order to show off several of my characters. Just click on the title and you should be able to download it. If this entry is popular, I might post another five in the future.

5. The Exploration of the Philosophic Realm
This story features my Victorian adventurer Edward Harker. Here he takes a trip to Greece and finds something rather philosophically interesting.
Words: 4,028 Pages: 6 

4. Fire
Featuring my two teenage characters Jane Dawson and Steve Gunner. There is a little bit of jealousy at a school event involving a boy named Jack which then escalates, to say the least.
Words: 1,018 Pages: 2

3. Let’s Talk
Featuring my two time travellers, Bernard Adams Dobson who’s bad (and who you might remember) and Gordon Orson Dobson who’s good (who you also might remember). Basically, the pair of them are trapped in a room together for a short period of time with no explanation and so find themselves with nothing to do but to talk to one another.
Words: 1,325 Pages: 4

2. The Second Coming
Featuring my journalist character Jessica Andrews. In this story she comes across a man claiming to be Jesus Christ reborn.
Words: 1, 813 Pages: 4

1. Clothes
Featuring Gordon and Bernard again! In this story, Bernard breaks into a leisure centre.
Words: 1, 564 Pages: 3

(All of these stories could easily be rated at PG, or 12 at the highest. Just a warning though, in the story ‘Fire’ there is a single instance of bad language. I may not swear, but that doesn’t mean my characters don’t!)

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Lofty and the Violin

I don’t believe I’ve ever mentioned Lofty on here before. Lofty is an interesting person who can often be found strolling around Corsham and who is often under the influence of alcohol. It’s always a pleasure to bump into him and have a small chat. Unfortunately, I don’t know his real name, but Lofty, his nickname, is what I’ve heard him called the most. One day, I, along with my friends Ben and Dalfino, happened to bump into him.

Dalfino, as regular readers of my blog will probably know, is quite a musical person, and at the time he was learning to play the violin. The three of us were sitting on a bench and Dalfino decided he would get out his instrument. Seeing the instrument, Ben decided to take it and see whether he’d secretly been an expert violinist all his life without knowing. Just as Ben had the violin in his hands, Lofty approached us and started talking.

Now, Lofty can be hard to understand at times, so I can’t know exactly what he said, but the first thing he spoke about was his father who was a beekeeper or something similar. Lofty often talks about bees and beekeeping and I’m pretty sure he’s always talking about his father.

Anywho, once Lofty had finished regaling us with tales of his past, his attention was drawn to the violin.

“Oh, so you play music do you?” he asked, in his slurred way.

“Nah,” said Ben, “this is Dalfino’s. I can’t play at all.”

“Oh, he’s just being modest,” said Dalfino, a hilarious prank brewing in his mind, “Ben’s a really good violinist. He’s performed in front of large audiences loads of times. He’s even been in Carnegie Hall.”

“Oh! Well, play me a tune then!” said Lofty.

“But I really can’t!” said Ben, laughing a lot.

“Oh, come on, I’ll give you money!” Lofty pulled a pound coin out of his pocket.

Ben, not wanting to distress Lofty, tried to play. Unfortunately, he just made a horrible noise, it sounded like he was hurting the poor violin.

“Alright, alright,” said Lofty. “That’s enough of this. Don’t be silly play a proper tune!”

Ben tried again, and failed. Lofty was beginning to become unhappy about not getting to see a performance.

Dalfino, who had been enjoying the chaos caused by his prank, decided now to step in “Nah, really he’s never played before,” he said. “The violin is mine and I’ve only had one lesson, so I can’t play either.”

“Come on, please, somebody just play something for me!”

Nervously, Dalfino played the only tune he knew, which was a very basic one indeed.

“I guess that’ll do,” said Lofty; he gave Dalfino the pound and then left, only mildly musically fulfilled. And so, with that, Dalfino had moved from a mere amateur musician to somebody who actually earned money from his work.

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Charli and Alfie

I’ve decided that I’ll use today’s blog entry to tell you a little about our family dogs: Charli and Alfie (who I’ve listed chronologically there, rather than alphabetically). I’ll tell you a little bit about how they behave and a little about the relationship they have with each other. Since she’s the oldest and we’ve had her the longest, I’ll tell you about Charli first:
Charli, in her old age (she’s nearly 7) is a very cautious dog. Charli is so cautious, in fact, that she is scared of absolutely everything. I’ll just list a few of her fears: fridges opening, cups moving, slight bangs, being in cars, trees creaking,  cutlery falling and pretty much anything else you can think of (especially anything which falls). If you take her for a walk and let her off the lead, she’ll just stroll peacefully along a short distance away from you. She does have a little bit of a wild side though, if there’s a patch of long grass she won’t be able to resist rolling in it!
Alfie, on the other hand, is quite insane. He’s still very young (only having recently turned 1 year old) and so is always very full of energy. Even something as mundane as bowel movements is, for him, a super exciting, energetic activity: he finds a spot and then spins around for a while before getting on with his business. He’s very strange too; he’s not much like a normal dog: he stretches like a cat, walks like he has super bouncy feet and spins his tail around like a helicopter, rather than wagging it normally. Also, maybe because he’s male, on the odd occasion he might get aggressive, or at least, I imagine that’s how he’d like to think of it: basically, sometimes at night, if somebody offends him, he’ll growl at them. If the growl doesn’t cause his irritator to go away, he’ll move quickly to bite them, but as soon as his teeth reach the person’s hand, he’ll just close his mouth really slowly and look at them nervously. Also, despite his young age, he’s already bigger than Charli.
This picture, unlike the previous two, was taken by my Mum, rather than by me. Now, how do you think they’d get on together? Love each other? Hate each other? Well, I’ll tell you. Charli will be strolling along, or sitting peacefully, and then Alfie will run over to her (probably bumping into her) and start chewing on her neck. Charli hates having her neck chewed, so every time Alfie tries, she gives him an angry bark. Alfie’s kind of like an annoying clingy guy who thinks he and Charli are really good friends, but Charli is actually irritated by him. If we’re out walking and Charli goes somewhere and he can’t figure out where she is or how to get there, he’ll just sit there and cry about it. When they’re reunited, he’ll give her a big celebrator neck bite. But while Charli might pretend she finds Alfie annoying, deep down, she really loves him. For example, just the other day, Alfie went over to a dog and the dog viciously barked back, Charli then ran over and barked very angrily at the other dog (though on the other hand, some days, she’ll join in with the other dog if another gets annoyed by him).
    And so they’re the family dogs.
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