Photos of the Wilderness

Posted on June 19, 2011 by Adam Randall

Today was a very nice, hot, sunny day, as such I decided to go and take a walk in the wilderness. I took some photographs while there, here are three of the best ones.

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It’s a very nice place. I’m glad I’m able to go there whenever I want!

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Drunkenness

Posted on June 18, 2011 by Adam Randall

This entry is going to be about the feeling of intoxication. In fact, this entry is going to be an attempt to dissuade others from ever drinking so much that they become drunk.

Now, I don’t like drinking alcohol, I’m quite happy with my Trusty Water Bottle. In fact, the very name of this blog ‘Trusty Water Blog’ is a joke based around the fact that I ‘always’ have it with me. Well, I put always in quotation marks, but it is literally always. Anywho, I’m going off topic… Really, I am quite hypocritical though. I often claim that I don’t like to drink anything but water, but there have been one or two occasions where I have ended up drinking alcohol. A couple of times, even too excess… Though in fairness to myself, one time I was tricked into doing so, and the other times the alcohol was either bought for me or literally forced into my hand… Though I suppose that’s no better than a Nazi officer’s excuse of “I was just doing my job!”.

Anywho, I’m going to describe the process as best as I can so that others can know the real horror of becoming drunk. So at first, you may feel a little more confident. This first stage isn’t bad, it’s actually pretty good, really. Let me explain it in a little more detail without the alcohol you’ll have this thought process “Oh, I just thought of a funny joke! Maybe I should tell people… Nah, it’s probably not funny, or they won’t get it and I’ll just end up embarrassed with even less friends” so you keep quiet, but alcohol changes it to “I just thought of a funny joke! Better tell it!” and you do. It’s good because often what you say actually is funny and people laugh and then respect you more, but the downside is that you’ll say things that aren’t funny which will get the reaction your sober self feared.

Then comes the second stage, which is much worse. This is when your body begins to take control of itself. You’ll say something that is really stupid, something you’d never say sober. You’ll even think to yourself “Why did I say such a stupid thing? I know it’s not clever or funny, I’m so embarrassed!” but this doesn’t stop your body. It only gets worse from here onward; this one stupid comment will then snowball into much worse things…

Then comes stage three. In stage three you begin to act very emotionally, it’s around here that you actually seem to develop an additional mind. The additional mind takes control of your body and, usually, feels very depressed. You’ll incoherently ramble about something the additional mind wants to talk about while you are thinking “Oh how I wish I had control over my body so that I could stop doing these reputation shattering things!” During this time you may even break the confidence of your friends and say things you shouldn’t have to complete strangers.

Then comes the dreaded stage four. The drunken additional mind now has full control and you feel very dizzy. You stumble while you walk, slur your words and do other generally embarrassing things. Your drunken mind’s rambling is all you’ll say, and you may consider texting your friends and apologising for becoming so drunk, even though they wouldn’t care.

Basically, at this point, all you can do is watch through your eyes as you become possessed by some obnoxious clumsy fool. It’s one of the most painful experiences of all, you know what you say and do is embarrassing, but you have absolutely no control over yourself…

This is just a summary of my own experiences with alcohol, your own may, possibly, vary. A lot of people do, after all, enjoy becoming drunk. So even if this doesn’t persuade you not to drink to excess, it should, at least, give a compelling account of why I do not drink.

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Elliott Egan

Posted on June 16, 2011 by Adam Randall
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With a lack of any ideas for my blog, today I just did what I was told to and wrote an entry on Elliott Egan, as he suggested. While he is intentionally shockingly sexually explicit at times there’s nothing really that wrong with him. Plus, maybe sometimes he DOES steal my phone and send rude text messages (please stop), his qualities outweigh the badness. He’s able to drink pretty large amounts of alcohol, and some people think that’s pretty impressive, so I guess that’s worth mentioning. You can’t see it in the picture, but there are braces on the teeth in his mouth, I’m sure there’re several fly young girls (to use cool language) who have explored them with their tongues on the dance floor at a happening nightclub. He’s a frequent partier, so you know he’s a chill guy. He also once was heard to say “Lets rob that boat” which lead on to some crazy adventure that I’d better not go into too much detail about.  
    So yeah, that’s Elliott Egan. A crazy, sex obsessed party animal… But a noble sex obsessed party animal who knows his rights and wrongs.
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Nightmare Fuel

Posted on June 15, 2011 by Adam Randall
I won’t use any names just so that somebody can maintain their dignity.

Imagine you’re asleep in a bed that isn’t your own. You’ve slept there before, so you’re beginning to feel comfortable in it. Two of your other friends are in the room too, each sleeping in their own beds. Then, one morning you’re abruptly woken up by a strange noise. You’re tired, so you keep your eyes shut and just listen for a while. It’s very odd, it sounds almost as if one of your friends are shivering. Almost sounds as if they’re in quite a lot of pain. They must be ill, it isn’t that cold, it’s just average temperature. So you open your eyes, just so you can see what’s wrong with your friends. But when you do open them, you realise they aren’t in pain at all, in fact, what they’re feeling is the opposite of pain; they’ll be feeling intense pleasure. Your friend is lying on the back, naked in the bed. Unfortunately they aren’t lying under the covers so not one inch of their body is hidden… Well, almost, their hand obstructs the full view. That’s right, their hand is between their legs, and it’s quite busy too trying to ensure that this person is able to ‘enjoy’ themselves. So all you can do is close your eyes again, the situation is too awkward for you to say anything, so all you do is close your eyes and discreetly pull your covers over your head. The image of your friend shaking the tree of love in order to get the sex fruits to fall out is now burned in your mind. Normally you’d see darkness with your eyes closed, but on some subconscious level you really hate yourself, so all you see is that image in your mind. And, of course, the covers don’t block out sound either so you can still hear ‘the shivering’. All you can do is lie there and wish you were somewhere else, not experiencing this traumatising event. Eventually, when your friend has finished ‘enjoying’ themselves, you can open your eyes and pretend to wake up. But, of course, you can’t mentioned it, just imagine how embarrassed they’d be. So you have to spend the rest of the day with them and just behave as if nothing had happened.    

Now, as you can imagine, that’d be a pretty horrible scenario. But it actually happened to me, I seem to be a kind of magnet for explicitly sexual situations I don’t want to be in. The worst thing about it is, the whole time they kept saying to me, and the other friend who was there, that they didn’t want us ‘enjoying’ ourselves in that house (as if I’d ever do that let alone in that house…).


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Failed Joke

Posted on June 14, 2011 by Adam Randall
I’m just going to write out a conversation I had with a friend of mine a few months ago in an English lesson. I’d thought up what I thought was a really good joke. This is what happened:

Me: So you know the joke about gullible not being in the dictionary?
Friend: Yeah, what about it?
Me: I don’t get it, can you explain it to me?
(Now I’m going to break this down into two sections. Section 1 is how I imagined the conversation would go, Section 2 is how it really went.)

Section 1:
Friend: Oh well you see ‘gullible’ means you’d easily believe what you’re told, so you’d have to be gullible to believe ‘gullible’ wasn’t in the dictionary!
Me: And that’s why you are gullible! Of course I get the joke 😛
Friend: Hahahaha, what a good joke. The fact that you thought of it yourself and told it so well has made us better friends and I respect you more for it.
Me: 🙂

Section 2:
Friend: Oh well you see, ‘gullible’ means…
Me: (Unable to contain laughter) You’re the gullible one! Of course I get the joke 😛
Friend: What?
Me: I said you’re the gullible one.
Friend: Yeah I heard, but why?
Me: Because I obviously have heard of that joke. You were gullible for thinking otherwise!
Friend: Oh.
Me: *awkward silence* … 🙁
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Artist

Posted on June 13, 2011 by Adam Randall
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So with no real idea for a blog entry today, I decided I would use this entry to show off the artistic skills of a friend of mine named Sam Reader. In my free time, aside from writing in my blog, I also write short stories. One of the characters from my short stories is Gordon Orson Dobson. The picture is of that character and was drawn by Sam Reader. Pretty good don’t you think? So this is just kind of a way of thanking him for doing illustrations for me.

You can find more artwork by Sam here.

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ChatRoulette

Posted on June 12, 2011 by Adam Randall

As you may know, there is in existence a website called ChatRoulette. If you are unfamiliar with it I’ll now give you a brief description of what happens on it. It’s basically a game where you are put into a videochat with a random person from across the world, if you don’t like them you press ‘next’ and get a new person (they can do the same.) Now, you might be thinking “Wow that sounds like a fun innocent game that everybody can enjoy” (which is true some of the time) but ChatRoulette can be downright nightmarish at times. Here’s a transcript (I can’t remember exactly what was said, I’m working from memory) of a conversation I had on there (remember, we’re both on webcam):

Me: Hello.
Random Female: Hey.
Me: How are you?
RF: I’m fine. Want to play a game?
Me: Oh okay! What kind of game? Word association?
RF: Not that kind of game… 😉
(The Random Female then took of all of her clothes, leaving her naked)
Me: Hmm, could you please put your clothes back on so we can talk normally? I don’t like this kind of game. Get dressed and we can play word association.
(Random Female presses ‘Next’ on me).

I was quite insulted by her pushing ‘next’ on me. I always see the ‘next’ button as what you press either when a conversation has reached a natural end or when you find yourself talking to a very strange person. Now, this conversation was clearly not over, so therefore she just thought I was a strange person. But she was the one who suddenly got naked; all I did was pull a face of shock while politely asking her to cover herself. But then I later reflected on the matter: in today’s world are the crazy ones the ones who DON’T join in with all these crazy things? Would the average male have replied “That sounds like a fun game. How about we each ‘enjoy’ ourselves while watching each other across the webcam!”? I don’t know, but maybe.

On the subject of males actually, the males who use ChatRoulette do represent their gender rather poorly. The majority of them have their camera pointed at a naked area between their legs while they’re ‘enjoying’ themselves. Then, if you say something like “Could you please put your clothes back on?” they get all rude at you. Now I don’t mean to imply that this website is entirely bad, I’ve had some nice conversations with some nice people on there. Sadly, given the chance, it seems that the majority of people on ChatRoulette (especially the majority of males), want nothing more from females but sexual satisfaction. In fact, the males on there reflect so badly on their gender, that I’ve had females ask me to prove that I’m wearing clothes below my waist!

I guess maybe I’m just in a very small minority and should just stop whining.

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10 Practical Uses for a Water Bottle

Posted on June 10, 2011 by Adam Randall
1. Opening doors. You see a push-door, but you don’t want to waste time using your hands to open it, so you pull out your water bottle and push.
2. Squirting enemies. If you’re ever troubled by a drunken fooligan, or have a terrible desire to get revenge for something. Simply point the nozzle of the water bottle whoever has offended you and squeeze. They’ll soon think twice before troubling you again.
3. Cleaning messes. If you put your hand into something gross, your hand gets cut open and there’s blood everywhere, or even if there’s just something gross on a table you want to sit at, just pull out your water bottle, aim at the mess and squeeze. That mess will soon be a clean spot.
4. Pushing people. Sometimes there’s just somebody being obnoxious, or you may have attracted unwanted attention on the dance floor, if this ever happens just pull out the bottle and use it to push them away. It’s surprisingly effective!
5. Putting out fires. Some maybe you accidentally started a fire, and some paper is burning up, or your leg is burning up. A quick squirt from the water bottle and there’ll be no more fire!
6. Pointing at things. Have you ever wanted to point at something but thought your arm was too short? Well if you hold your water bottle at it’s base, you can use it to elongate your arm and point at things more expertly.  
7. Cooling yourself down. After running a race, or spending a long day walking in the sun, just turn the nozzle to yourself and squirt! The water is a good refresher.
8. Getting out of awkward situations. You see somebody walking towards you, you kind of know them, but you aren’t sure if you’re supposed to say hello to them or not. If you are, and you don’t, you’ll just see rude, if you’re not, and you do, you’ll just seem weird. A water bottle gives you a good alternative, put it to your mouth and drink, maybe you would have said hello, but your mouth was full! They can’t get mad for that. Plus, this lets you see whether they say hello or not, then, judging by their actions, you’ll know what to do in the future.
9. Stress ball. Whenever you feel uncomfortable, or stressed, grab for your water bottle! Squeeze it as much as you like with the lid down, water won’t escape and it works perfectly as a stress ball!
10. Water whenever you need it. This is the best thing about it. You’ll always have water with you, so whenever you’re thirsty just pull it out and drink it. The perfect beverage. You should never run out either, cafes and restaurants have to give you free refills, and you’ll never be too far away from a water fountain!

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The Flow of Time

Posted on June 9, 2011 by Adam Randall

I’m getting towards the end of my time in school; I’m in Year 13 and now only have to come in to do my exams. Of course, technically I could have left school in Year 11 and gone to a college or simply started working, but I didn’t do this because, firstly, I would like to have a good education to be able to have a reasonable job in future. Also I wouldn’t have liked to be apart from my friends (though now this will inevitably happen soon anyway).

My time at the Corsham School (which is the name of my secondary school, just in case you were unable to figure that out) seems to me, to have been incredibly long. So much has happened in my life that is particularly significant while I have been in this school. In my seven years there I have been on countless trips to places I never would have gone otherwise, met some many people who I’ve really cared for, had my Dad die, learned to actually enjoy reading books, discovered that water is the nicest drink, been to countless parties and ended up in many uncomfortable situations that would later be hilarious stories when I told them to people. It seems like such a long time.

Anyway, I’d better get back to the main point of this entry rather than spending too much time talking about irrelevant things. When I was in Year 12, I took part in a small Paired Reading scheme where I had to help a boy with his reading every afternoon. Today I saw that boy and said hello to him and I was rather surprised when he reacted as if it was very strange of me to say anything to him. I, initially, was confused, but then I realised, I did paired reading with him over a year ago, I knew him when he was just starting in Year 7, now he’s almost in Year 9. In a period of time that, to me, seems to have gone by very quickly, but for him, he’s gone through a significant portion of his time in the school and it must seem like ages since I last spoke to him. When, in the past, I was told that time passes faster as you get older I never really believed it and, until today, still didn’t. What summed it up best for me is that I was sitting in my friend’s house earlier today and saw a poster he got for Christmas and thought “Oh yeah, that’s his new calendar!” but the calendar is six months old, it’s June and I was still thinking of it as being the start of the year.

I can’t really think of a good way to end this entry, but I’ve just been feeling very nostalgic lately.

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Creepy

Posted on June 7, 2011 by Adam Randall
Picture

So I picked this doll up (the one in the picture) at the Bath and West Show recently. Her name is Martha Mae and she is supposed to be a female African slave. Of course, it looks very offensive, but that’s because it was made to resemble the dolls of the 19th century. She’s also kind of creepy looking as you can see.
    So when I got home I sat Martha on top of one of my bookshelves in a position so that she was facing towards my bedroom window. Then one night afterward I decided that I would stay up a little later than usual and do some writing. When I was done writing I looked away from the screen of my laptop, yawned and stretched. But when I did it, I noticed that Martha was not sitting in her usual position, instead she facing me. Initially it made me jump, but then I realised there would be a rational explanation and just moved her into her original position. But still, at the time it seemed to be pretty creepy!

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