Further Adventures on ChatRoulette

Posted on June 29, 2011 by Adam Randall

Recently while talking to my friend Elliot Egan, I mentioned to him that the webcam that was built into my laptop was broken. Then, rather kindly, he offered to lend me his Xbox webcam so that I could have a working one for a while.

When he gave it to me, to test it out, I decided to visit the website ChatRoulette (I’ve written about this site before). I don’t really like that website, but it is a good way to give a webcam a little test run. For some bizarre reason, after three people decided that I wasn’t somebody they wanted to talk to, I was suddenly blocked from the site due to being ‘sexually explicit’ and redirected to an even more unpleasant website that I don’t think I’ll go into any detail about. I guess I must have a phallic face or something.

As such, I decided to visit Omegle, which is basically just ChatRoulette but with a different name. During this little ‘test’ period I didn’t really come across many internet perverts, in fact I had several nice chats with several nice people (including Mochammad Restu who sent me those nice photographs). As such, I decided that maybe I was wrong about that kind of website… Maybe they were nice websites for nice people to chat with strangers without being sexually harassed… I was wrong.

So I met a few other nice people, but then I met quite a large number of the perverts and I’ve decided now that there is no way I am ever returning to those websites. The first one was a seemingly normal girl who chatted nice and friendlily. Eventually she said “Can I see your stomach?” I thought this was slightly strange, but briefly lifted my polo shirt upward a little anyway, after all what harm could it do? Then this little exchange happened:

Girl: So what part of me would you like to see?
Me: Oh, I’m fine really. You don’t have to show me any part!
Girl: Heh why do you assume I don’t want to show you?
Me: I’m not assuming that. I just don’t really want you to show me.
(Girl takes off all of the clothes on her upper body)
Girl: You like?
Me: I’m very shocked.
Girl: I noticed 😛 so do you like what you see?
Me: (this was a very difficult question to answer) They’re nice enough, I suppose.
Girl: Thanks (starts to lick boobs)
Me: If you’re gonna have them out, please don’t lick them, it make me a little uncomfortable…
Girl: Okay then. So show me more of yourself 😉
Me: What?
Girl: Show my your [I decided to censor the word, though rhymes with ‘she is’].
Me: Nah I’m good.
Girl: C’mon, please babe, I wanna see it.
Me: Well it’s invisible to the naked eye, so… Anyway, are you not familiar with Omegle? If you disconnect you’ll find loads of guys exposed on camera.
Girl: But I only wanna see yours.
Me: The irony is, I only want you not to see mine.
Girl: Please. I love you.
Me: Wow, I’m glad I’ve had such a good impression on you. But still, no.
Girl: I wanna see you handle it.
Me: (it took me a few moments to realise that this meant the same thing as ‘enjoying yourself’) Nah, that’s worse than just showing you it, so no. Sorry.
Girl: C’mon babe, please show me! I want to see it.
Me: Well do you maybe have some kind of fetish that would mean I can show you a part of my body I can comfortably show you and you’ll be just as aroused?
Girl: (long pause) your tongue.
Me: (pokes out tongue)
(this is just writing from memory of course! I really should have saved the actual transcripts, it would have saved me a lot of time!)

So after showing her my tongue, I was able to briefly resume a regular conversation, but then she disconnected. Then I had this conversation with a man. I won’t fill out what he was doing, what I said will probably make it clear.

Me: Hello.
Guy: Hey.
Me: So how are you?
Me: Why aren’t you replying?
Me: What are you doing?
Me: Oh I see.
Me: Please put that away.
Me: Don’t do that!
Me: How about we forget about this and have a nice normal conversation?
Me: I’m not gay, you know? I’m not actually enjoying this at all. Actually, what I feel now is the opposite of enjoyment.
Me: So, you don’t even care? That’s really inconsiderate!
Me: Please stop.
At this point I disconnected.

So these are two more horrifying stories that show just why you should never use ChatRoulette, Omegle or any other of these random chat sites. I still have other stories about these sites that I decided not to include as this entry is already pretty long, so maybe sometime in the future I’ll post my last few scary stories.

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Porn Alternative

Posted on June 28, 2011 by Adam Randall
A lot of people I know seem to think that going onto the internet and looking at photographs of naked people is a fun thing for them to ‘enjoy’. I think that’s pretty gross though, so I decided, for the benefit of those people, I would make an alternative to looking at these naked pictures. What I’ve done is slightly edited a couple of photos of naked people to make them more tasteful (this isn’t to say that I’m in favour of censorship, even if I don’t like these naked photos, they’re still ‘art’ and it would be wrong to prevent people from actually being able to see the original. I’ve just created a censored alternative that I hope will be liked as much as the original and held as an artwork on its own merits…)

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See a male and a female, something for everyone. Can anybody spot the alterations I made? They’re very subtle so you might not be able to. I guess I better put a couple of disclaimers here, firstly, I don’t actually have the right to use these images so I hope there’s not a problem with me doing so, and secondly, neither of these people were ever actually naked (like I’d want that in my internet history!) they’re just edited underwear models.

Yeah I was just wondering whether having ‘porn’ in the title would increase the views my blog gets….
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Ben Wood

Posted on June 27, 2011 by Adam Randall
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Ben Wood asked if I could write an entry about him, and now that I have a new laptop charger, I can do just that. That’s him in the picture above, and, for some reason, I always think that he looks quite a lot like Justin Bieber in that picture…
    Anywho, I’ll now say a few things about Ben. I met him a few years ago, but at that time he wasn’t just a normal person, his hair was pretty much bright orange (or strawberry blonde as he once called it) but he spent enough times with the normals for his hair to change colour. I mentioned before, in my entry about Dalfino Madrigal Keyte, that Dalfino had been in quite a lot of crazy situations, but Ben has been in just as many himself. Off the top of my head I can think of sticking a golf club inside himself (I won’t say which part of himself, I want this blog to be PG rated), sneaking into a shower room and secretly photographing another male taking a shower, wandering around with his trousers around his ankles after drinking a few too many beers and taking photos of himself in his underwear and uploading them on the internet (he said this was done to ‘mock’ the people who do it seriously, but everybody knows he did it seriously…).
    But, as with my other two entries, now that those embarrassing stories are over, I will tell you his good qualities. He may not know how much alcohol is a sensible amount to drink, but he knows practically everything about television, film and video games (although I’m sure some would argue this isn’t very amazing). He also is pretty skilled at losing weight; he used to be slightly fat, but then he lost loads of weight, but of course, we’ll still call him fat, people always need a fat person to make fun of, even if he’s only fat at heart. So that’s Ben Wood, perhaps a little crazy, but with a good sense of humour, and always having good intentions.

Just to add, as I always do, if you want a blog entry about yourself, just ask me in a comment or on my Facebook and I’ll do it 🙂

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No New Posts for a While

Posted on June 23, 2011 by Adam Randall
Today was supposed to be an entry on Ben Wood, but last night I had certain problems with my laptop, specifically that the charger seemed to somehow sever itself. So now I can’t use it until I can get my hands on a new charger, there’ll be no new entries on here. I don’t really have full access to another computer, so, until I have a new charger this will be the last post. I also noticed that a few days ago I had over a hundred different people visiting this site! So if you’re reading this, I’d like to take the chance to thank you for reading my blog 🙂
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Photographs by Mochammad Restu

Posted on June 22, 2011 by Adam Randall
Due to the abilities of the internet, I was recently in contact with a nice guy named Mochammad Restu. When he saw my entry ‘Photos of the Wilderness’ he asked if I’d like to have some of his own pieces of photography on my blog, so I told him that I happily would. They’re nice wilderness type photos similar, in a way, to the photos I’ve previously uploaded. Here they are:
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Book Printer Advert

Posted on June 21, 2011 by Adam Randall
I made this video for a media project last year. It was suggested that I post it today along with my ‘Reading is Cool’ entry, so here it is.
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Reading is Cool

Posted on June 21, 2011 by Adam Randall

I have a job at the Corsham School, which also happens to be the place that I study. They have a little system where the 6th Form students are able to work there. My job is to be an MDSA during lunch time and clean up after children who are too lazy to walk to a bin after they eat. Anywho, while I do this, if I ever notice that one of the children is reading a book; I’ll approach them and say “Reading is cool!” and give them a sweet. The reason behind this is that reading actually is cool, and the children always seem to be very amused when I tell them it. So basically, today’s post will be about the reasons why reading is cool… Or the reasons that I think reading is cool… Or more specifically, why reading fiction is cool.

Firstly, think about the number of books that have been written throughout time, I may be wrong, but I’m going to say that this will be in the tens of millions, I’d say billions if I was including unpublished works (I’m not including them, but really there are so many good ones, (e.g. this person. I’ve only read two of their short stories but they were great!). But anyway, as I was saying, there are so many books that have been written, so many that if, at ten years old, you started the habit of reading a book a week, you could maintain this for your entire life even if you lived for another hundred years! Every week finding out the ways in which the many different authors of the world think and see the world and learning a little more about the human condition.

For my second point, I would like to actually use an analogy, or a simile. I can’t actually think of which this is, which is pretty appalling seeing as I study English. Anyway, imagine there is, in existence, an entire universe which is separate from ours and which we can never visit. It’s full of its own mysteries, histories, tragedies and comedies, but all of this will remain totally unknown to us humans due to the fact that it exists in a separate realm of reality. But imagine there is some kind of link between these two universes, information travels from the other universe to ours in the form of psychic waves. These waves find their way to the minds of the people of the world with a passion for writing, and, unaware that they’re psychic waves; they think they’re their own original thoughts. Once this information is in a writer’s head it will burn away at the back of his or her mind until he or she is able to record it in the form of words. That’s what books are.

Books create a window into the ideal fictional universe that we can never reach. The world where aliens exist and have exciting adventures across the galaxies, the world where there are lands that do not share a common history with anywhere in our own world and are the homes to mythical creatures, the world where unrequited love merely means a quest for requisition, the world where anything is possible. That is why reading is cool. Sure, this fictional universe might not actually be real, but it exists in the imagination of every writer on the Earth. Who knows which windows will be opened in the future? And which tales from the realm of imagination will be the next to capture the hearts of the world’s readers.

Well I’m done now; I’m gonna go do some reading.

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Dalfino Madrigal Keyte

Posted on June 20, 2011 by Adam Randall
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After Elliott Egan asked me to write an entry about him (and I did) it didn’t take long for Dalfino to request that I also write one about him. So today’s entry will be about Dalfino Madrigal Keyte.
    Dalfino is quite unfortunate, in that, he often ends up in the strangest situations imaginable. For example, one day Dalfino received a text message, happily taking his phone out, believing that one of his friends had sent him a message, he opened the message… Only to find a random male had photographed the naked area between his legs and sent it to him…
    Dalfino also has a rather crazy sense of humour; one day I was walking into town to buy lunch with him…
    “So what shall we get for lunch Dalfino?” I asked.
    “We could get cigarettes!” he replied, excitedly.
    “Er… I don’t think that would be a good idea…”
    “Or condoms!” he added.
    Turns out that the reason for this bizarre outburst was that, as Dalfino had recently turned eighteen, he was excited that he was now able to buy such things (not that you need to be eighteen to buy condoms, if ever a country existed where the legal age of consent was two years younger than the legal age to buy condoms it must’ve been a crazy one). But Dalfino isn’t all madness…
    One of Dalfino’s hobbies is to make music. Specifically, to write music for the guitar, and play it, and to write lyrics and sing them (he also does Radiohead covers). He even gave me an album he made called ‘Record of Matches’, one of the tracks was really terrible, but it wasotherwise a generally good album. He sticks to a kind of moody alternative style rock rather than going all poppy with his music.
    So, anywho, that’s Dalfino. I think he may actually be the person I know in real life who has the most references in this blog (as of now) so I guess he should feel quite proud. I should also be quite thankful, as, if it weren’t for him, I never would have started writing a blog (which turned out to be pretty good).

Just to add, if anybody reading this would like me to write an entry about them, I’m happy to do so! Just tell me to do, and I will (eventually) 🙂

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Photos of the Wilderness

Posted on June 19, 2011 by Adam Randall

Today was a very nice, hot, sunny day, as such I decided to go and take a walk in the wilderness. I took some photographs while there, here are three of the best ones.

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It’s a very nice place. I’m glad I’m able to go there whenever I want!

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Drunkenness

Posted on June 18, 2011 by Adam Randall

This entry is going to be about the feeling of intoxication. In fact, this entry is going to be an attempt to dissuade others from ever drinking so much that they become drunk.

Now, I don’t like drinking alcohol, I’m quite happy with my Trusty Water Bottle. In fact, the very name of this blog ‘Trusty Water Blog’ is a joke based around the fact that I ‘always’ have it with me. Well, I put always in quotation marks, but it is literally always. Anywho, I’m going off topic… Really, I am quite hypocritical though. I often claim that I don’t like to drink anything but water, but there have been one or two occasions where I have ended up drinking alcohol. A couple of times, even too excess… Though in fairness to myself, one time I was tricked into doing so, and the other times the alcohol was either bought for me or literally forced into my hand… Though I suppose that’s no better than a Nazi officer’s excuse of “I was just doing my job!”.

Anywho, I’m going to describe the process as best as I can so that others can know the real horror of becoming drunk. So at first, you may feel a little more confident. This first stage isn’t bad, it’s actually pretty good, really. Let me explain it in a little more detail without the alcohol you’ll have this thought process “Oh, I just thought of a funny joke! Maybe I should tell people… Nah, it’s probably not funny, or they won’t get it and I’ll just end up embarrassed with even less friends” so you keep quiet, but alcohol changes it to “I just thought of a funny joke! Better tell it!” and you do. It’s good because often what you say actually is funny and people laugh and then respect you more, but the downside is that you’ll say things that aren’t funny which will get the reaction your sober self feared.

Then comes the second stage, which is much worse. This is when your body begins to take control of itself. You’ll say something that is really stupid, something you’d never say sober. You’ll even think to yourself “Why did I say such a stupid thing? I know it’s not clever or funny, I’m so embarrassed!” but this doesn’t stop your body. It only gets worse from here onward; this one stupid comment will then snowball into much worse things…

Then comes stage three. In stage three you begin to act very emotionally, it’s around here that you actually seem to develop an additional mind. The additional mind takes control of your body and, usually, feels very depressed. You’ll incoherently ramble about something the additional mind wants to talk about while you are thinking “Oh how I wish I had control over my body so that I could stop doing these reputation shattering things!” During this time you may even break the confidence of your friends and say things you shouldn’t have to complete strangers.

Then comes the dreaded stage four. The drunken additional mind now has full control and you feel very dizzy. You stumble while you walk, slur your words and do other generally embarrassing things. Your drunken mind’s rambling is all you’ll say, and you may consider texting your friends and apologising for becoming so drunk, even though they wouldn’t care.

Basically, at this point, all you can do is watch through your eyes as you become possessed by some obnoxious clumsy fool. It’s one of the most painful experiences of all, you know what you say and do is embarrassing, but you have absolutely no control over yourself…

This is just a summary of my own experiences with alcohol, your own may, possibly, vary. A lot of people do, after all, enjoy becoming drunk. So even if this doesn’t persuade you not to drink to excess, it should, at least, give a compelling account of why I do not drink.

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