I’ve been thinking a lot about the moments from my life which brought me the most joy – the memories I go back to if I ever want something to lift my spirits in a sad moment. I decided that this was something I should write about. Of course, there are hundreds, if not thousands of core memories and moments that have helped define who I am and which will bring me happiness anytime I look back on them, but I decided to cut it down to ten for the purpose of keeping this blog post focused. So here they are: (in no particular order, as I can’t really quantify their value, when they’re all so important to me)
- Back in 2024, my housefriend Eilidh and I went out to dinner at Nando’s for my birthday. It was a lovely day all round, but the defining moment that earns it a place among my most precious memories, was that while we were walking home, she said to me, completely out of the blue, “You know, if you died, I’d never be happy again for the rest of my life” and that’s probably the nicest thing anyone ever said to me.
- While that last one, contains something quite profound – this next one is a much simpler, quieter moment and I think the fact that it meant so much to me reflects the fact that we’re all probably having a huge impact on people without knowing it. But, anyway, in the winter of 2023, I was having dinner out with my good friends Sarah and Edward. It was an ordinary dinner with them, which means that it was wonderful, because I love them both, but what stood out was the moment we said goodbye. They both always hug me goodbye, but this time they both hugged me at the same time. “Gosh, that was my first ever group hug” I said, and I was genuinely overwhelmed. It probably sounds a silly thing to place so much emotional significance on, but even now, remembering that moment makes me very happy.
- While I’m talking about Sarah, let’s jump forward in time to something that happened just a month ago. Sarah and I met in 2015, and while taking a walk this spring, we were talking about how we should do something to mark the tenth anniversary of our friendship. In the end, I came up with the idea of us both getting matching Magic Stars tattoos, because Sarah bought me Magic Stars once in the early days of our friendship. So that’s what we did. We had a whole morning together, but the fun we had chatting and joking around with each other during the actual tattooing is something I’ll always remember fondly. “We’ve got a closer bond than marriage now” she said jokingly as we finished, and it always makes me happy to look at my star now – especially since Sarah is the only person I can say has ever saved my life too. A special friendship commemorated in a special way.
- Speaking of life-threatening things (though not the one Sarah had a hand in saving me from), back in 2021, at Christmastime specifically, I had just recovered from a very serious case of COVID-19. I was delighted that I was feeling better and was on my way to one of my annual Christmas meals. My friend George was driving me to the restaurant at the time, and we had a little chat before we went in. He wanted to give me a little present, a small stone with the words “You are loved” on it. He said, “We might be too macho to say it sometimes, but I love you and it’s important that you know that” which I thought was just about the sweetest thing ever, especially as he’s my second oldest friend. I keep the stone on my desk and it still makes me happy when I see it there.
- Speaking of George and things that happened in 2021, he also had a postponed wedding celebration shortly before the Christmas meal I mentioned. This was one of the first big outings I attended after being incapacitated with COVID for so long, and it felt really good to be able to go and enjoy myself. In addition to spending a lot of time with George for the first time in a couple of years, I also spent a lot of time with my oldest friend Davey, and his wife, Laura. “We should meet up with Adam more often,” said Laura, and I’m glad she did because now I see the pair of them quite recently and my life is all the richer for it. Reforging old bonds is very important, and we had so much fun joking and laughing with each other – just as we do every time we meet.
- From my oldest friend, to one of the oldest memories on this list – back in 2012 my good friend Tulin and I dedicated a special day to have a Christmas celebration together. Coming just after the university Christmas holiday started, it was such a warm and comfortable day – the memory of which I have returned to very many times. The specific best moment is hard to pinpoint, but I’d either say that it was when they asked for a hug soon after I arrived, which lasted quite a while. “What prompted that?” I asked, and they replied, “I just like hugging you.” I stayed the night that day, and the two other highlights are walking back to their house, walking hand in hand amidst all the Christmas lights, and last but not least, the feeling of utter contentment I felt as I got into bed and drifted off to sleep.
- Now, from a distant memory of winter, to a recent memory of summer. In 2023, I went to Portugal and it was my first time going travelling overseas. Alongside Rory, one of my oldest and dearest friends, and his partner Neus (who I am very fond of) I went along with a group of people who were mostly all new to me. Although I treasure the memory of the whole trip, if I hone it to a specific moment, I would have to choose sitting with my new friend Malena at the back of a ferry on a ride back from a place called Culatra Island. It was a hot day, but the sun was now setting (beautifully) and spray from the ocean was cooling us down too. Malena and I were talking about how lucky we were to be leading such lives and experiencing such things, and the fact that the two of us have grown to have a very close and valuable friendship in the years that have followed, serves as a fond reminder that incredible new experiences, and deep meaningful new connections can come at any time.
- Hoping back as far as 2008, I reached a milestone in my journey as a writer – I had written 99 short stories and was working on my 100th. My friends were all very supportive of my reaching this point, and I decided to write an overly-indulgent special story that brought in lots of characters from my older pieces, and used my friends and I as characters in the story as well. Everyone was very interested in it, especially my friend Egan. Though by my current standards, the story really wasn’t all that good, the level and support I had from all my friends at the time felt very special. It’s easily my most rewarding experience as a writer.
- Earlier this very year, I was invited to attend my friend Chloe’s hen party in Amsterdam. It was an incredible trip full of new experiences and new friends. I thought to myself, that I’d never have been able to enjoy this trip in the past for many reasons, from feeling anxious in groups of people I didn’t know, to hating being in loud pubs and clubs, to being too poor to go anywhere, to needing a lot of privacy for getting changed and sleeping. That reflection alone gave me a very positive feeling about my personal growth, but if I had to boil it down to a specific moment, it would have to be taking a boat cruise along with the group, and getting to a point where the captain of the boat said we were going under a certain bridge, that according to local folklore, if you hug while you’re passing under it, you cement your love for the person you’re hugging for all eternity. Chloe and I had a good old hug as we passed under it, and with all the significance that the captain placed on that moment, of course I’m always going to remember it for the rest of time. It’s what the bridge demands.
- Last but not least, I come to what’s actually the only memory here that doesn’t involve any of my other friends at all. In 2018, I travelled to Scotland to attend my friend Rory’s wedding. I arrived late at night and was by myself. I was absolutely starving after an extremely long train journey, so after I dropped off my suitcase, I wandered into town to find somewhere to eat. For convenience, I visited Nando’s. While sitting there on my own, I started to think of all the very many friends I’d been to other Nando’s restaurants with before and started to feel kind of emotional at the memory. Once I’d finished the deliciously nostalgic meal, I wandered through the streets of St. Andrews and admired the Christmas lights while thinking of all my fondest memories. With a heart so full, I thought to myself, I could never be lonely again. That’s even more true now than it was then, since, as you can see from this list, most of the happiest moments of my life happened after this moment.
I really enjoyed writing this, and I especially enjoy the fact that so many of these most precious memories are from the last five years. My theory about that is that, as you get older, your friendships grow deeper and deeper, meaning that you more openly share affection between one another, and are more likely to have a variety of experiences. Meanwhile, I also just think that people become more affectionate as they get older, and have a deeper level of empathy and emotional intelligence, making it more likely that you’ll have super meaningful moments with them. Generally, I feel very lucky for the life I had lived and I feel that life gets better and better as time goes by. Also, side note, a lot of my most beloved and cherished friends are not mentioned in this blog post, and if you’re one of them and feeling left out, know that the value of a friendship is not defined by big, special moments, but by your ongoing presence and the way that you make me feel whenever we’re together, so while it may not be easy to find a specific moment that I can write about in a clear narrative sort of way, there is no question whatsoever that my life is enhanced by having you in it.





