To Fall Down At Your Door

(A couple of months ago, I wrote an anecdote to be used another site, but they declined it, and so here it is. I tell you this, as, the writing style will be a little different for that reason.)

Back in winter 2011, I was regularly sleeping over with a good friend of mine. My friend lives in the city of Bath and I live ten miles away in a lovely little town called Corsham. Since I attend a university in Bath and I was often there as late as 8:30 p.m., staying at her house was often a big help. I left my sleeping bag there so that I’d always have a comfortable place to sleep.
    Sadly, this nice little arrangement came to an end around Christmas time, but, of course, this sleeping bag of mine was still at her house. So, on one particularly cold night in February, when I had over an hour’s wait until my next bus, I decided it would be a good idea to pop by and collect it. As well as being handy and convenient, it would also be nice to see a friend rather than sit around by myself. I sent a message, asking whether it would be okay to pop by and get my sleeping bag and she said it would be fine, so I headed towards her house.
    The only downside of this plan was the fact that she happened to live at the top of a very large hill (or, The Hill of Doom as she called it) and I was already feeling a little tired. I wandered up the hill anyway, and it started snowing as I did. Once I got to her house at the top, I actually felt quite faint, but I didn’t really mind because soon I’d be happily inside in the warm. I knocked a few times, but there was no answer. So I knocked again and again. Eventually, I lost all strength and fainted. Luckily, it wasn’t that bad because I fell forward and so was still kind of standing up by leaning on her door. I ‘woke up’ a few seconds later, suddenly feeling quite a bit colder, and continued my knocking. Before long I had been knocking for twenty minutes and, if I didn’t leave soon, I’d miss the last bus home before 11 p.m.. I decided the door probably wasn’t going to be answered, and then walked back to the bus station…
    About an hour and a half later I was back at home and on my laptop.
    I got a message from my friend, “I thought you were coming round mine?” it said and I couldn’t help but laugh.
    (Also, I must say, I hope this story doesn’t give you a negative impression of my friend, she’s lovely, really!)

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A Short History of the World by H. G. Wells

PictureIn this book, Wells sets out to cover the entire history of the planet up until the 1920s (which was the present day for him). This may sound like something that would be really boring to read, but through his lovely writing style he manages to keep it as interesting as any novel all the way through.

The earlier chapters are some of the most interesting. It’s here where he talks about the formation of the Earth in space and the most primal forms of life. He then goes on to talk about the evolution of creatures up to the dinosaurs and their untimely extinction and then onto the earliest clear ancestors of humans. Sadly, with this being ninety years old, the science will not be completely up to scratch and a much more detailed/accurate picture of these very early years in Earth’s history could be painted in a modern book, but nonetheless, you still get a good idea of how these things happened.

Another thing I was particularly fond of was the way in which he covered the origins of the world’s major religions (Buddhism, Christianity, Hinduism, Islam and Judaism.) I found it very interesting to discover the context in which they came about as it helps to give a better understanding of them and their belief systems. I also liked that Wells was, usually, quite neutral when discussing them too, treating their beginnings simply as historical fact, rather than going into any debate about their legitimacy (although it is there very slightly, at times, but not much.)

On the whole, reading this is a very good way to give yourself a better understanding of history and the way in which things are connected. Of course, being a history of everything means it never goes into an event in extreme detail, but that’s not a bad thing, if it did, it would be an entirely different thing. There’s also the fact that some periods of history aren’t quite as interesting as others, so you won’t be enjoying it equally all the way through. Wells says that he wants the book to read in the same way as a novel, while at the same time giving us a history of the planet, and I believe that he has done that rather well. Anybody with even the slightest interest in history should read this book!

Rating: 7.9/10

Buy it here.

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Casino Royale by Ian Fleming

PictureThis novel introduced to the world the very popular character, James Bond. Of course, he’s not the only one; M and Felix Leiter both debut in this book and both would also go on to be prominent figures in the world of James Bond. Otherwise, though, this novel is quite removed from the thing people would usually think of in regards to James Bond.

The story starts with James being sent on a mission to go to a casino and bankrupt a gambler named Le Chiffre because he is known as a man who has been aiding the Russians for the (then current) Cold War. Of course, in between card games, James sneaks around secretly gathering information and whatnot too. Along the way, he is also aided by a woman named Vesper Lynd with whom he shares a degree of sexual tension with.

Sadly, none of this, for me, made for a particularly exciting story. The writing style is completely joyless, and James himself hardly provides any kind of emotional gateway into this gritty world of Cold War espionage. I found scenes of him chatting with villains while he plays baccarat to be plain boring. I will admit though, that things did begin to pick up towards the end of the book, perhaps around the final quarter, but I can’t really tell you how without spoiling the plot. Even once it has improved though, the shift is from boring to depressing, which is hardly the best way for a story to progress. So while you feel nothing but boredom for the first 75%, you’ll feel sad for the final 25% but, hey, at least you’re feeling something!

So while this novel is the book that gave the world James Bond, there really is very little to it, it’s actually one of my least favourite books. Don’t be put off though! Later books in the series are a lot better than this one. Rating: 5/10

Buy it here.

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The Cat in the Hat by Dr. Seuss

PictureThis is, perhaps, the best known of all of Dr. Seuss’s picture books. As is very common in his books, everything is written in a beautiful rhyme scheme designed to help children learn to read and it flows through the whole thing rather nicely.

The story starts with a young boy and his sister Sally who are stuck inside and quite bored due to heavy rainfall outside. The illustrations really shine at this part; the atmosphere of being stuck in on a rainy day is really captured perfectly. But things take an unexpected turn when the main character, the Cat in the Hat, suddenly arrives with all kinds of crazy things for the kids to do. Their pet goldfish, however, has other ideas and thinks the Cat in the Hat is quite reckless and I have to say, I agree with the fish.

The book is nice enough, but I can’t say I found myself especially drawn in (as I have done with other picture books.) There’s a moderate amount of suspense when you’re wondering if the two kids will get into trouble because of the silly old Cat, and occasionally things get so bizarre that you can’t help but smile. I also quite enjoyed the very ending. Other than that, there’s not that much to the book, there are other much better picture books out there, and, indeed, even better picture books by Dr. Seuss.

Rating: 6/10

Buy it here.

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A Wasted Journey

Picture

Yesterday I was walking the dogs through a place called Pockeredge Drive. Pockeredge drive is a lovely quiet road that goes through a moderately wooded area, to its left is a kind of valley that the railway goes along, eventually going into Box Tunnel. Box Tunnel is fairly famous, since it’s such a large underground route and also linked to the mysterious underground city in the area.
    Anyway, as I was walking along, a man pulled up in a car a little ahead of me. The man got out of his car and then headed in my direction.
    “Excuse me, you wouldn’t happen to know where the portal of Box Tunnel, is would you?” he asked.
    “Portal? Do you mean the entrance?”
    “Yes.”
    “Oh, well, if you just walk down this road and look through the fence on the left you’ll be able to see it. But, there’s not really a good view of it from there. Where do you live?”
    “Oh, miles and miles away!” he said.
    “Oh, okay,” I said. “I was going to use a reference point that you’d only understand if you lived here. But, yes, just walk down this road and you’ll be able to see it through the fence. It’s not a great view, but it’s better than nothing!”
    “Heh heh, don’t worry, I don’t think I’ll bother!”
    “Fair enough,” I said, and I smiled at him. I thought he must have been joking; surely he’d not drive ‘miles and miles’ to see something and then change his mind based purely off some second hand information that tells him the view’s not that great? Surely he’d at least look for himself first, it’d only take five minutes!
    So, I carried on walking and a few seconds later he drove past me, waving as he left. I guess that was his whole day then…

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Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë

PictureThis novel follows the life of its titular character: Jane Eyre. The whole thing is written in the first person, as if an older Jane had decided to write down all that had happened in her life up until that point. At the start of the novel, Jane is only a child and you hear all about her time at school and her life at home. Once she’s finished school, she goes on to become a governess, which is the period of her life where the majority of the story takes place. For me, this is a little bit of a shame, because I found her childhood to be one of the best parts to read. But unfortunately, it seems that this same quality couldn’t be maintained throughout the novel.

But, anyway, Jane works as a governess at Thornfield Hall, where she teaches a young girl named Adele Varens (who’s pretty nice). But the main focus is not Jane teaching this young child, but with the mysterious head of the house Mr. Rochester. Mr. Rochester is a character who, at times, seems unusual and interesting, and, at other times, seems weird and annoying, he has a rather unusual relationship with Jane (especially for the ninteenth century!) and it can occasionally create tension between them.

The story, especially Mr. Rochester’s secrets, certainly had some unexpected and exciting twists and turns, but at the same time I think it was all too long. It’s as if every time you read a new plot development, you then read several chapters of monotony before you get on to the next development. This is quite a shame, as reading all the boring bits is quite off putting and I imagine that a lot of people might just give up on it because of that, but I’d suggest that anybody who does read it should keep at it! If you’re getting through a particularly tiresome segment, try to console yourself with the thought that some genuinely enjoyable reading is probably just around the corner. If you can look past the unnecessary padding (which was probably only done to get it to fill three volumes, as was the fashion at the time) you have a novel with some real emotion and characters who, love them or hate them, you’ll want to find out what happens to them. Plus, to Brontë’s credit, the whole book has this kind of wintery atmosphere to it (even though it’s not only set during the winter), this isn’t something I can easily point out or identify, but it certainly helped during the less exciting parts.

Rating: 7.9/10

Buy it here.

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Doctor Who: Only Human by Gareth Roberts

PictureThis novel is a new adventure for the Ninth Doctor and his companions Rose and Jack. I’m very happy about this really because they are one of my favourite TARDIS teams and they didn’t really get a large number of adventures on screen, so this book helps to stretch out their time together.

The story follows them as they head to modern day London due to the TARDIS detecting some kind of time disturbance. Before long they find out that a Neanderthal man named Das has somehow been plucked out of his own time and trapped there (they can’t bring him home in the TARDIS.) So, the Doctor and Rose head back into the past in order to find out what it is that may have sent Das back, and Jack remains in the present day as he tries to help Das to adapt to modern life.

I’m actually a little disappointed with how Jack is used in this novel. Jack is one of my favourite of the Doctor’s companions, so I was quite excited that he was in this book, but the fact that he stays behind with Das means that he pretty much entirely removed from the main adventure. Nonetheless, there are still chapters about Jack and Das and they are very enjoyable, I just wish Jack could have been more involved in the story.

The Doctor and Rose, meanwhile, find themselves thousands of years in the past, where a colony of humans have travelled back from the future to find a new home. This society is quite different to the people of today, and something very strange is happening, but I shan’t spoil it. It’s interesting to compare the cave people, modern humans and future humans.

The story is written with a very light tone, and while there are some very serious moments, even they are given a humorous edge which often relieves tension. Having said that, I did find that the presence of humour is the darker scenes actually helped to make the novel seem somewhat eerie, and even discomforting at times. I do think that it is occasionally TOO light though and could have done with a slightly stronger sense of seriousness.

Rating: 8/10

Buy it here.

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Out of Context Nonsense

Today I’m going to tell you a little about a fun little writing game that I thought of. What you do is list ten random things from your fictional writing with the goal of making it seem like you write the most bizarre stories around. It’s obviously best to do this this socially with a few other writers, but you could always just post it for everybody else to see on something like a blog. So, to give an example, here are ten pieces of out of context nonsense about my own writing:

1. A volcano erupts and then molten cheese comes out; a mystery which is investigated by a female version of Sherlock Holmes. (Read more here)
2. One story has five brutal murders, two nude scenes and one attempted rape. (Oh dear).
3. I have characters named: Johnnannis, Scawnnannis, Zedxclon and Gregtopher.
4. A man loses his family in a terrible car accident, only to have them brought back via a fantastic musical number a few days later.
5. The embodiment of evil is a fan of The Muppets and becomes inspired by it to eat people whole just like they do.
6. A middle aged, balding man in a beige blazer materialised in space before there was any life in the universe.
7. A couple of homeless people find out how to win the lottery every time and become the two richest men on Earth.
8. The embodiments of good and evil have a scooter race through a small town in Wiltshire.
9. A nuclear bomb was launched during the cold war, but it didn’t go off and nobody realised until somebody found it in his garden twenty-seven years later.
10. Characters who have died and been brought back several times discuss how it’s silly when fiction is criticised for having that happen.

Don’t forget, I am intentionally making it sound very weird, these are all out of context! I do write seriously as well. I’d be interested in seeing what things other people might have on their lists.

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Carrie by Stephen King

PictureIt’s quite hard to give any brief summary of the book to open the review. It’s often listed as a ‘horror’ novel, but I don’t think that label really suits it. So, go into this story with an open mind.

I guess, to perhaps state the obvious, this novel is about Carrie. The story itself isn’t particularly exciting, but Carrie herself is an absolutely incredible character. The book shows us her day to day life and, through this, we really begin to care for her. She’s not a lucky person; in fact she has an absolutely horrible life. Every day she’s bullied by everybody at school and then abused by her extremely religious mother once she gets home. As you read, you feel very sorry for her and you feel terrible that there’s nothing you can do about it. She’s one of those characters who you wish you knew in real life, just so that they could have one person who’s on their side. She also evokes a feeling of guilt, there’s always at least one person we could have been a bit nicer to when we were younger…

In between the chapters about Carrie’s daily life, there are epistolary pages from fictional books written about some disaster or another that happened in Carrie’s hometown. You won’t find out what they’re all talking about until the ending, but all the way through there’s this uneasy feeling that something bad is looming on the horizon and then, when the ending does come, my goodness, that ending….

On the whole, while the story could do with being a bit more exciting (it’s basically all build up for the end), Carrie’s superb character more than makes up for it. And she’s not the only good character either, every person in it is very believable, some of them sympathetic and others utterly dislikeable (that’s not a criticism of King’s characters, it takes a very good writer to make somebody who readers’ll actively dislike.) So, I recommend this book, if nothing else, reading it will make you want to make an effort to be nicer to people. Rating: 8.7/10 (I found it very hard to score this book.)

Buy it here.

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Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell

PictureThis is a non-fiction sociological book which sets out to explain how certain people become successful. Its main message is that nobody ‘makes it’ alone and it all depends on circumstance and those around you.

Several chapters are short biographies of various people who have been considered a genius, all of them explaining just how it was that they became successful. These range from Bill Gates to The Beatles and are all very interesting to read. What’s common among all of them though is that they all had a large number of big opportunities which were given to them, opportunities which simply are (or were) not available to everybody. Most of these, generally, were down to chance and good luck.

But the most interesting part of the book, I thought, was what it had to say about current education systems. It seems that a lot of schools are inadvertently giving preferential treatment to those students who were born in the months near the start of the school year compared to those born near the end of it. This is because children born in the months at the start of a school year will be a little older than those born at the end and therefore naturally just a little better due to further development. From an early age, these children are then put into the better classes where they’ll be given better treatment than those in the lower classes and so it will go on for their entire school lives.

It also spoke about how some behaviours of people are very deeply rooted in culture and family history. An interesting, but very disturbing, part of the book spoke about the reasons behind aeroplane crashes (including actual transcripts from black box recordings). It seems that a large number of plane crashes are caused by co-pilots being embarrassed to point out to the pilot (their superior) that they have made a mistake. So, sadly, it seems people have died directly because of politeness.

On the whole, this book provides an interesting look at the world and the way that things work. It’s well worth a read and contains some surprising information.

Rating: 8/10

Buy it here.

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