Garden

Sometime ago, I believe it may have been February 2008, my friend Elliott Egan threw a little house party and I was invited. I arrived along with my other friend Ben Wood and, at the start of the evening, everything seemed as if it was all going nice and smoothly.

However, there was one snag: I’d forgotten to put on a belt before I left and my jeans were a little bit loose. Now, this wouldn’t normally be a problem, a party is, after all, mainly a matter of just sitting down and socialising. But it just so happens that back then, I knew a girl who seemed to have a strange interest in pulling down my trousers whenever she could. Apparently, I secretly liked it… I won’t mention her name, because since then she’s apologised for doing it and I wouldn’t like to embarrass her with this entry.

Anyway, it just so happens that she eventually realised that I was belt-less, I can’t remember how, but it was over four years ago, so hopefully I can be forgiven for small gaps in my memory. Anyway, once it was realised and the trouser-yanker was after me, I decided I would hide outside in the garden, but she quickly followed me out there and, since it was dark and a garden I was unfamiliar with, I was quickly cornered.

“Maybe we should go back inside and get back to the party along with everybody else,” I suggested.

She didn’t give a verbal response, she just looked at me and gave an evil grin.

I took a step back, but she took a lunge forward, grabbing onto my trousers.

“I’d prefer it if you didn’t pull them down today,” I said. “I mean, aside from the fact that I already don’t like it, today it’s also very cold outside, so it’s even worse than usual.”

But, unfortunately, she overcame me and down came my jeans (which, very, very unfortunately, brought down my boxer shorts with them) then, since I was I was holding my trousers, I fell down onto the floor too. Luckily, I was wearing a rather big shirt, so I was able to use that to retain my modesty from all of the people watching the spectacle through the window. The girl ran away and I was left by myself.

I shuffled away and moved to a spot where I didn’t think anybody could see me. Then, confident I was safe, I restored my clothes to how they should be. I looked up and saw that a small group of three people had been watching. Oh dear. And there you have it, another unfortunate incident at a crazy party. Every time I go to these parties, a part of me thinks ‘why?’ Get it? “Party”, “Part – y”, “Part (of me thinks) y?” couldn’t resist tacking that pun onto the end!

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Facebook Page

This is just a small update to say that I now have a Facebook page for my blog. My stats show that occasionally over a hundred and people visit this blog on a single day, so it would be nice to see who all of you are! Here is a link to it, so please ‘like’ the page, thanks in advance for doing so! Also, I’d like to thank you all for reading my entries too, it seems like it has been a while since I have done so, yes, a big thank you to everybody who reads this!
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Secret

LJ the Cheetah confronts Colin the Cow.
This is the first, and probably last, appearance of a non-finger puppet character in a finger puppet show. LJ for obvious reasons, will not be appearing again (shall we have a moment’s silence to remember her?). Also, before anybody accuses Colin of murder, he did no such thing, that’s just what happens if you try and hurt this innocent animal’s feelings.

All finger puppets can be bought here, though I’m not sure where LJ comes from (having been a gift from an old friend).

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Internet Moome

Colin the Cow jumps onto the whole meme making bandwagon.
Made in response to the latest fashion on cow culture where they say things other than ‘moo’.

All finger puppets can be bought here.

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My Occasional Disillusionment With Our Society 

Just the other day, I was watching an episode of my favourite webseries, Jake and Amir. Currently, they are in the middle of a multi-part story called ‘Double Date’ and, in this story, there is a recurring joke which is really ridiculous. There is a character named Emily and several times they cut so that you can only see her legs and every time they use the unshaven legs of a man. This isn’t funny at all, in fact, it is just offensive and sexist, boiling down to them basically just saying “Gee guys, wouldn’t it be funny if a woman didn’t shave her legs? Just like a man!” It bothers me because something like this shouldn’t be a joke, it should be a perfectly normal and acceptable thing which some females happily do. It makes me sad that Jake and Amir, a series which I really like, should feature such ridiculousness. Plus, in reverse, a male who shaved his legs (or any other part of his body for that matter) would most likely have people rudely calling him ‘gay’. But I guess it’s just a product of our society.
    It seems to me that there are far too many objectionable things, such as this, that so many people in our society adhere to. I mean take, for example, a transsexual man; I can’t imagine a man, particularly one of a rather masculine build, being able to walk freely down the streets wearing a dress without receiving all kinds of strange comments and looks. In fact, even somebody whose outfit deviates too far from accepted fashion would likely recieve similar treatment.
    Furthermore, how about revealing outfits? A female would certainly be branded with unpleasant stereotypes if she were to wear a revealing set of clothes, and males seemingly never wear revealing outfits (probably feeling that they can’t). Now, I’ll admit, I personally don’t care all that much for revealing outfits, but I certainly wouldn’t want to take away people’s rights to wear them. It seems to me, that the only reason somebody would seriously object to revealing outfits is if they were unable to realise that the exposed human body is not simply an object of sexual desire, even nakedness can easily have no sexual connection. Anybody who fails to notice this, is much more deserving of those unpleasant labels than those who wear the revealing outfits (not that anybody deserves labels).
    But it isn’t just clothes. What about lots of people’s attitudes to sexual behaviour, the old “males can sleep with lots of people, and it makes them cool, but if a female does it, that makes her completely undesirable” why does it matter? Any person should be allowed to sleep with as many people as they like, without receiving any scrutiny. Sure, it WOULD be immoral if somebody took advantage of a drunken person, or lied to somebody to get them to sleep with them, but when it’s two truthful consenting adults, who cares? It doesn’t affect anybody but them. Not that I’m saying that everybody should be going out and having lots of sex, indeed, people should feel fine waiting until marriage or any other significant point with their partner, it is YOUR choice, and anybody who tries to tell people what to do when it comes to this should be ignored, it does not concern them.
    I’d like to follow that point by talking about virginity. I think, quite frakly, that the idea of viginity is something which should be done away with entirely, it only really leads to unhappiness. Either, people who have passed the age of consent and remained virgins will think “Oh, deary me, why am I still a virgin? I must be pathetic because nobody wants to sleep with me” or does who have lost it will thing “Oh no, I lost my virginity during a one night stand at a crazy house party, now I’ve lost my innocence! I must be a bad person” both of which will just bring them sadness (obviously). I want to say that loss of virginity does NOT mean loss of innocence! I mean, murdering somebody, raping somebody or doing very mean things to somebody could easily be called a loss of innocence, but simply sleeping with somebody? I don’t understand who it equates loss of innocence: all it is, is, two people agreeing to take part in a physical activity, it does not reflect on innocence or morality at all. Is a murderer virgin an innocent person?
    Deary me, I’ve turned this entry into a rather angry sounding rant, and I do apologise, but why should women have to shave their whole body? Why shouldn’t a man wear a dress? Why shouldn’t somebody wear a revealing outfit? Why shouldn’t people have lots of (safe) sex? Or none at all? I know of no credible arguments against any of these things. I had more points, but it was pretty long, so I left it at this. If this entry is popular, I might write them in future.

_

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Power Plant

A month or so ago, I got a message in my suggestion box from Mochammad Restu (do you remember him?) and it said that he would like me to write an entry about the ‘new plants in Indonesia’ which, I’ll admit, I didn’t know anything about. To be honest, I thought he was referring to some new kind of plant species that had been discovered, or had been engineered, but after doing a little bit of research, it seems that he was referring to power plants.
    Now, I’ve found it a little difficult to find much information on the subject, especially anything recent, but from what I can gather, it seems that three hundred coal based power plants have been/are being built all across Indonesia. I imagine this is something of a mixed blessing. In general, new coal based power plants aren’t really a good thing, I imagine hundreds of wind turbines (or other means of harnessing renewable resources) could have been built with the same money and that would have been a lot better for the environment, and the world generally, especially in regards to the current state of things. But, on the other hand, what with there being few jobs and lots of people being poor, these power plants will create a lot of work opportunities for the Indonesian people. I’d say it’s more bad than good though,renewable energy sources could have created the same jobs, but it’s not entirely bad.
    Read more about it here.
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Don Quixote by Miguel de Cervantes (Translated by P. A. Motteux)

Don Quixote, often called the first modern novel, is something that should really be looked at as two separate novels, rather than one. Both novels are always published together these days and, as such, I will review them together, but you must bear in mind that they are two distinct books…

The first book sets the scene for the whole thing: Don Quixote goes insane from reading too many books about chivalric knights and decides to head out (along with his squire, Sancho Panza) believing that he is one too. It all starts out very silly really, with him doing things such as attacking windmills because he thinks they’re giants, but it is still entertaining nonetheless, I just feel that it could do with a touch more seriousness. The main problem with the first book, though, is the fact that there are several times when you’re taken away from the main narrative to hear about a story which is irrelevant to the main sequence of events. The worst case of these distractions is when a character stops to read a book, and the whole book is written out for you to read too… It was very off putting for me, not least of all because the book they read is very boring. On the whole, while the first part isn’t bad by any means, it’s not utterly amazing either, so I give it a 6/10.

The second book, for me, is when the story of Don Quixote really gets going! There is quite a change actually, between the first and the second book, and that is the publication of the first (if that makes sense?). Basically, Don Quixote and Sancho Panza meet several people who know them because they’ve read all of their adventures in the first book. What I especially like, is the fact that there are no longer any huge distractions from the main storyline, and, the funny thing is, that one character even criticises the chapters that did so in the previous book. The secondary characters who you meet in part 2 are a lot better than those you meet in part 1 and, indeed, there is even an added element of seriousness which was lacking in the first one too. On the whole, this one is quite a lot better, so I’d give it 8/10

So that’s quite a nice average score of 7/10 should you plan to read them back to back (as I did!)

Buy it here.

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Lofty Reflects on His Life

I’ve mentioned once before that I know a man who’s known as Lofty and who lives in Corsham. The strange thing is that every single time I have a conversation with him, it just so happens that he is intoxicated with alcohol. But, anyway, it had been quite a while since I’d last seen him until I happened to bump into him just the other day.

“Hello, Sir,” he said as he approached me.

“Hello!” I said happily in reply.

“You’re very tall,” he said, “I used to be that tall too, but I’ve gotten two inches smaller since I got old. My father, he lost one inch, but me, I lost two inches.”

“Well I’m sorry to hear that it seems to have doubled,” I replied.

“Nah,” he said, waving his arm forward in an ‘I don’t care’ way. “You know, I was born during the same year as Elvis.”

“Elvis Presley?”

“Oh? You’ve heard of him have you?” he asked, genuinely surprised.

“Yes, I have.”

“Oh, well I’m 77 years old, and he’s dead. Now, some people might say he was more successful than me, but who’s the one who’s still alive? At age 16 I lied about my age and joined the army, now here I am alive and well and Elvis is dead!” Lofty found this thought pretty funny and started laughing about it. I decided I would join him in this.

“And how old are you, Sir?” he asked me, after his laughter was over.

“I’m 19,” I told him.

“And what do you do?”

“I go to the Bath Spa University.”

“Ah, that makes sense, you look like you’re intelligent, you look like you have brains!”

Just then, my friend Dalfino arrived.

“This young man is a true gentleman, don’t you agree?” he asked Dalfino.

“Yes, I would,” he said.
Lofty’s smaller friend then arrived and said “I’m sorry. You’ve never met this man before in your life have you? C’mon Lofty, we better be going!” and with that, the pair of them had wandered off into the streets. This was my latest encounter with Lofty and, I want to point out that I’m not writing these entries about him to mock him, rather because I think he can be quite funny and think that other people may enjoy reading about him.

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Pokémon Snap

PicturePokémon Snap  is a very unique instalment in the Pokémon series and I certainly consider it the best of the non-RPG games. This game, unlike any other I can think of, is based around photography.

Every level goes like this: you find yourself in a small car thing (called the Zero-One) which drives along a set course. As the car drives along, you’ll see lots of Pokémon in their natural habitats (beaches, caves, volcanos etc.) and you have to take photographs of them. The idea is, that you get the nicest possible photos you can of them and, at the end, Professor Oak will score them based on certain criteria he has.

At first, you can only go to the beach and you don’t have many ways to interact with the environment around you, but the more of them you photograph, the more places you can go to and the more items you unlock. The items (such as apples and things called pester balls) allow you to do things that will reveal secrets in the levels. There are always reasons to go back to the old levels in order to try and find new hidden things.

The game does have its downsides though. It was made back when there were only 151 Pokémon and not even all of them are in it, so I feel it would really benefit from having a few more to find (a modern sequel or remake could solve this). Plus, I do think that there could be a few more levels, there are seven and one of them is very basic, so I think it would have been good to increase this number, especially since all of the ones that are in it are so nice.

On the whole though, while I do wish there was more to it, I still like it very much, I would give it an 8.9/10

Buy it here.

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Rioting

Meet Jingle the Jester!
All finger puppets can be bought here.
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