Indecent Exposure

There’s one thing, in my experience, which a lot of males can quite happily do, and that is to urinate in public behind a tree, or a bush (or whatever). I, meanwhile, absolutely hate doing anything like that. I don’t even use urinals. Or stand at the regular toilet. But one time, I found myself with no other option.

I had been invited to a house party and everybody there had gotten quite drunk. I don’t drink alcohol, but I did drink a good few litres of water, thanks to my Trusty Water Bottle and so the time soon came when I needed to use the toilet. I walked over to the bathroom and found somebody sitting outside it.

“Is somebody in there?” I asked.

It turned out that somebody was in there, but only because drunkenness had gotten them very upset and they had locked themselves in the bathroom to cry about it. The person standing outside the bathroom was there as a guard.

“Could you, perhaps, ask them to get out?” I asked. “I need to go in quite badly.”

The person guarding the room was rather offended by this, as if what I had said had been horribly insensitive. But, in my defence, I really needed to go in and this person could cry somewhere else. I don’t mean to be rude, but, if it weren’t for the alcohol they’d not be crying in there anyway, so, it’s not like there was a serious problem. I guess if I hadn’t needed to go so badly, I could have been nicer about it. Nonetheless, I wasn’t allowed to use the bathroom and I had to hold it in for the rest of the night,

At about 12 a.m., I decided it was time to head home. I said goodbye to my friends and started walking back. I got about half way, and it really didn’t feel like I could wait any longer. I had been holding it in for hours by that point. Since it was so late, nobody was around. The temptation to just do it against a tree was too strong and, in the end, I relented.

At that exact moment a police car drove by. What could have been a very awkward situation, however, was thankfully averted when I slowly edged myself around the tree so that I was behind it, meaning they couldn’t see me. I may have had my reservations against doing that before, but that experience has taught me that it is never a good idea.

(Today is the one hundredth strip of the Finger Puppet Show! It’s a special one today too, don’t miss it.)

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The Light Fantastic by Terry Pratchett

PictureThis is the second book in Terry Pratchett’s Discworld series. I would suggest that you do not read this if you haven’t read the first because it picks up exactly where the first left off. The cliffhanger of the previous novel is solved in a only a moderately satisfactory way, but then again, due to the nature of what happened, I don’t think there are really any possible resolutions that would have been that good.

Despite a rough start, I certainly think that this book is better than its predecessor. There’s a much more solid plot this time: the end of the world is coming and if Rincewind can’t get to a certain place soon enough, there’s nothing that can be done to stop it. Unfortunately, he’s pretty much stranded and very far away from where he needs to be. This apocalyptic theme gives a sense of doom and darkness to the whole novel and I think this works as a good contrast to all the silly characters and events that we get to see. I like all this a lot more than the seemingly pointless wandering of the first. I have to say that there’s also a lot of genuine emotion this time and I did actually find the ending of the book to be rather sad.

Much like last time, Twoflower and his Luggage are a good source of humour and I like the dynamic between Twoflower and Rincewind. One character who is significantly expanded on this time is Death. Here the protagonists visit his home and get to meet his adopted daughter Ysabell in what has to be one of the strangest, but most interesting sequences I’ve ever read. There was also an multi-dimensional shopkeeper who I especially liked because I just kept thinking “Wouldn’t it be really lovely if things like that were real?”

On the whole, if you liked the first, you’ll definitely like the second and if you didn’t like the first that much, but want to get into Discworld, there’s more chance you’ll like the second because it’s better. I think the main difference is that this sequel is a lot more structured and seems to take itself more seriously too and that can only be a good thing.

Rating: 8.6/10

Buy it here.

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The Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Ages

PictureThis is one of two Zelda games that were made for the Game Boy Colour. In this game Link finds himself in the land of Labrynna where time itself has been messed up by an evil force. As such, Link must go through various dungeons to collect magical artifacts which will help to restore things.

This may sound like it’s a rather run of the mill Zelda game, and it really is. It borrows a lot from The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time and is kind of like a rather inferior version of it; several characters from that game return and the idea of visiting the same areas in two different time zones is also reused. Having said that, I do enjoy the time travel features and I am pleased that it is played around with a little more than they had done before.

I think the biggest problem this game has is the fact that you often have to do things that are really tedious. At one point you have to spend ages making your way around the maze-like Goron city and you have to keep taking part in a particularly un-fun Gordon dancing game too. I was stuck at one point because the names of items are not made very clear. The puzzles in the dungeons are rather unimaginative too: there is one puzzle where you walk across tiles and have to change their colour without touching the same tile twice, it takes a long time, it’s quite hard and it appears so many times.

Even the items you collect in this game are weird. In other games in the series, you get useful and interesting pieces of equipment which are fun to use and that make it possible to reach new areas of the map. In this games you get things such as the Cane of Somaria which magically makes blocks appear and does nothing else, Then there’s the Switch Hook, an item which, if you fire it at a diamond shaped block, it will make you switch places with it. You also get a Mermaid Suit, which Link puts on so that he can swim underwater, it gives him a mermaid tail and makes everyone think he is a mermaid (not a merman). While weird, I did find this last item quite funny though.

On the upside, this game was released at the same time as The Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Seasons and the two games can be linked together in order to unlock new items in both of them and also to add a nice extra part onto the end of the story. This is done through a password system where you’ll find a character in one game who will then give you a code to enter in the other game which will then bring you to a secret area or give you a secret item and I found this to be a very welcome and rewarding feature

But sadly, this has been the weakest in the Zelda series yet, though it still has its charms.

Rating: 7.9/10

Buy it here.

(Don’t miss today’s Finger Puppet Show.)

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The Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Seasons

PictureThis is one of two Zelda games that were made for the Game Boy Colour. In this game Link finds himself in the land of Holodrum where the seasons have been thrown into disarray by an evil force and the local oracle has been kidnapped. He then must travel through various dungeons in order to collect magical items which will restore order, as is often the case with the Zelda series.

While it may sound like a run of the mill instalment in the series, there’s actually a lot to this game which makes it both unique and very enjoyable. The changing seasons mean that you can be in one area and it’ll be a hot summer’s day and then walk to another and find the place covered in snow and eventually you get an item called the Rod of Seasons which allows you to change the seasons by yourself. Every time the seasons change, the map changes quite a bit too, which essentially means that there are four different versions of the world map!

By this point it had been established that Link sometimes rides a horse named Epona to make travelling around hazardous areas easier. While Epona does make an appearance in the opening sequence, in the actual game, you get to ride three rather more unique creatures: Ricky the Kangaroo (who wears a pair of boxing gloves, perfect for fighting enemies), Dimitri the Dodongo (who can swim and, rather humorously, eat enemies) and finally Moosh the Flying Bear. They do give the game a more childish feel, which might bother some people, but for me they’re very welcome additions.

Another big appeal of this game, for me, was the fact that Holodrum was a very interesting world full of memorable characters. There’s a village on a river, a lava-filled underground world inhabited with mysterious Subrosian people, an ancient abandoned castle (with amazing background music) and a huge desert, to name just a few of the interesting locations. In these wonderful places, you’ll meet the likes of a crew of skeleton pirates, the bumbling king of the Moblins and many other quirky individuals.

Furthermore, this game was released at the same time as The Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Ages and the two games can be linked together in order to unlock new items in both of them and also to add a nice extra part onto the end of the story. This is done through a password system where you’ll find a character in one game who will then give you a code to enter in the other game which will then bring you to a secret area or give you a secret item and I found this to be a very welcome and rewarding feature.

On the whole, this is a charming and unique addition to the Zelda series. Rating: 9.1/10

Buy it here.

(Don’t miss today’s Finger Puppet Show.)

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Why You Should Buy a Wii U

Nintendo’s latest console, the Wii U has not been doing terribly well, sales-wise. I think this is quite a shame, because it seems to be awfully good to me, so I’ve decided to write a blog post explaining the upsides of the Wii U and why I think you should buy one.

While a lot of people complain that it’s overpriced, it is still about two hundred pounds cheaper than its competition (the Xbox One and the Playstation 4). Furthermore, while the improvements to the Playstation 4 and Xbox One over the Playstation 3 and Xbox 360 seem to be rather minimal, the Wii U makes a lot of big changes and improvements from its predecessor (namely, the HD graphics, Miiverse integration and gamepad controller).

The gamepad in particular is a feature I am very fond of. I’ve read complains that very few games make any real use of it (even though Nintendo Land makes excellent use of it) but I think those complaints are missing the point of it. I don’t think the gamepad was designed with the idea of bringing an innovative new way of playing in the world of video games, but rather as an object of convenience. Often I’ll come downstairs, hoping to play a game, only to find that the television is already in use, meaning I will have to do something else instead. But with the Wii U, that does’t matter because you can just play the games on the gamepad without needing to see it on the television screen. Since I’ve gotten it, whenever I want to play one of my Xbox 360 games and the television is not free, I find myself wishing it had the gamepad, because it is just so incredibly useful.

And other than that, the console has quite an excellent selection of games. I can only personally vouch for Nintendo Land and New Super Luigi U (the two games I have so far) but there are an awful lot of games I am very keen to try: ZombiU, Rayman Legends, The Legend of Zelda: Wind Waker HD, Super Mario 3D World,  Pikmin 3, Sonic Lost Worlds, Lego City Undercover and Scribblenauts: Unlimited, to name a few. Plus, there’re so many good games on the way too, Mario Kart 8, Smash Bros. for Wii U, a Shin Megami Tensei and Fire Emblem crossover, a Zelda and Dynasty Warriors crossover and Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze (I’ve preordered this and am very excited for it to arrive!). So I have to say, from my point of view, the Wii U is the most appealing of the current generation of home consoles.

Buy a Wii U right away!

(Don’t miss today’s Finger Puppet Show!)

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Jude the Obscure by Thomas Hardy

PictureMy goodness, this novel is the most moving story I’ve ever come across. It follows the life of a young man named Jude Fawley who aspires to study at the university in the nearby town of Christminister. Sadly, it being the nineteenth century and him being a regular country boy, this will be no easy feat.

His plan first goes a little off track when he meets a young woman named Arabella with whom he develops a small kind of romance. I shan’t share any more of the plot though, as it would take away lots of very exciting twists and turns as you read along and spoiled surprises are likely to reduce enjoyment.

A little later in the book, you meet Jude’s cousin Sue Bridehead. Sue is an excellent character, I find her extremely relatable at times (I find Jude very relatable too, occasionally, but less so than Sue). What’s especially pleasing about Sue, is the fact that she’s a very positive female character from a novel written in the nineteenth century, so it’s nice to see that Hardy was writing against attitudes of the day.

While Sue was my favourite character, the whole book is populated with memorable characters. Richard Phillotson, Jude’s ex-school master, is just so nice. I love characters who are really good to other people, and he’s one of them. He may not have as big a role as certain other characters, but it’s hard not to love him. Plus, there’s also the dubious doctor called Vilbert, who I found rather funny and a young boy known as Father Time who, I probably shouldn’t say much about or else I might spoil the plot!

Something that you should definitely bear in mind before reading this, though, is that it is an extremely depressing novel. The characters do get some small moments of joy, but you’ll generally find them suffering with huge problems for a lot of the time. If you want some light, happy reading, this is not the book for you. I was also very slightly disappointed with the ending because it didn’t really give closure about everything. But these are minor flaws and don’t stop it being one of my all-time favourite books.

Rating: 9.8/10

Buy it here.

(I have written a short story set after the novel in order to give closure. Read it here.)

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Lucid Dream

A couple of weeks ago I received a very nice notebook as a late Christmas present. For a long time I’d wanted to start keeping a dream journal and so this very fancy notebook has now become my dream journal. They say that, if you keep a dream journal it will help you to remember your dreams and to eventually achieve lucid dreams. For those who may not know, a lucid dream is a dream where you are aware of the fact that you are in a dream and have a certain amount of control over it as a result.

Well, it seems to have worked quite well because I had a lucid dream just the other day! I was walking through Corsham, when I realised that it was a dream! Was I in full control? Well, I thought I’d test this by deciding it’d be nice to have a bus ride. I then walked down to the bus stop, got on the next bus (a double decker, of course) for free (!) and rode down to Bath. It had all the joy of riding a bus, along with all the comfort of sleeping in a bed. I hope to have another lucid dream again soon, as it felt spectacular.

(Don’t miss the two Finger Puppet Shows of the week: Wednesday’s and Friday’s)

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Music Suggestions 3

In the past I’ve done two entries where I recommended several pieces of music that I enjoy (here’s the first, here’s the second). It’s been a while since I last made one of those entries, so I thought I’d make another! I hope you like at least one.
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Workshopping Writing

I’m getting towards the end of a three year Creative Writing course at Bath Spa University. I’ve had some classes where I’ve learnt things that are incredibly useful and I’ve had other classes that weren’t quite as handy, but it’s definitely been a highly valuable experience on the whole. One of my favourite things about taking this Creative Writing course, has been getting to have lots of other people read my writing and give me their own interpretations of it. So for today’s blog entry, I’ve decided to write down some of the more interesting responses to my work.

– “This is wonderfully absurdist!” said one teacher, about a story that was supposed to be fairly realistic.
– Lots of people thought two of my characters were gay. That was never my intention, but, since they all read it in, I decided to have one of them harbouring an unrequited crush on the other.
– One person recently thought I was making a distasteful joke about rape. That was a little upsetting, both because I’d hate for my work to appear that way and because it makes me sad to think that this person would imagine me making rape jokes.
– I have one character who is supposed to be particularly pathetic and obsessive; somebody thought I had based him on myself!
– Somebody suggested that every piece I write has an air of sexual tension to it. I didn’t intentionally include anything like that, so, I don’t know if it says more about me or them.
– I was told I should make the evil villain of a story turn out to be God. I decided not to heed this advice.
– One time a teacher thought the hero and the villain of a story were secretly the same person. This was a wonderful idea and, while it isn’t what I planned, I decided to have fun sneaking in some clues that pointed to that false conclusion. (Although, technically, this was just before I started the course).
– Finally, and this is the most unusual reading of a piece: after reading a story about a clown on a sinking ship, one of my friends was sure it was my coded way of telling them that I no longer valued my life and was feeling suicidal. While this certainly was not the case, I was touched by their concern!

I hope it was entertaining to read those pieces of feedback. I certainly enjoyed receiving them, but then again, it is my work, so I might be much more inclined to enjoy it than you. It’s a shame that I’ll have left in a couple of months, I’ve had so much fun for the past three years and I’ll miss it terribly when it’s over.

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Sex and Nudity

It’s interesting how, on

It’s interesting how, on a DVD case, sex and nudity will be grouped together in the section of things unsuitable for young children. In society’s eye, nudity is very much the same thing as sex, but, for me these are entirely different things. Nudity I am quite indifferent too, whereas sex can cause me a great deal of anxiety.

Why do people always link nudity with sex? Friends, both male and female, will happily get changed in front of me, and it makes no difference to me. It’s nothing more than extra parts of their bodies, how is there any sex in that at all? Two people, both female this time, curiously, have sent me photographs of themselves naked for me to tell them if they ‘look alright’ and to me it’s nothing. Although, I do have to say that I don’t like to be given the power to tell somebody whether their body looks alright because, of course it does, everyone’s body looks alright and it’s only the awful side of our society that would tell them otherwise and I’ve insisted I can tell them that without the photographs, but they send them all the same. Funnily enough, I’m extremely uncomfortable with being even slightly undressed around other people.

Sex, in my mind, is an entirely distinct concept. I don’t like to ever think about sex and it’s out of my mind almost all of the time. The very idea of it, especially the idea of myself ever being involved in that kind of thing, makes me extremely uncomfortable. I don’t like it when my friends tell me about their sex lives and, unless they have some kind of problem they’d like to talk about, it’s something I’d rather they didn’t bring up as, what’s the point? I don’t know, perhaps I have some kind of irrational fear of the subject (I’m not sure why I would though), but the point of this post is, that there’s nothing inherently sexual about the naked human body, and I think it’s a little silly that so many people always associate the two things in that way.

(Click here for the second Finger Puppet Show of the week.)

a DVD case, sex and nudity will be grouped together in the section of things unsuitable for young children. In society’s eye, nudity is very much the same thing as sex, but, for me these are entirely different things. Nudity I am quite indifferent too, whereas sex can cause me a great deal of anxiety.
Why do people always link nudity with sex? Friends, both male and female, will happily get changed in front of me, and it makes no difference to me. It’s nothing more than extra parts of their bodies, how is there any sex in that at all? Two people, both female this time, curiously, have sent me photographs of themselves naked for me to tell them if they ‘look alright’ and to me it’s nothing. Although, I do have to say that I don’t like to be given the power to tell somebody whether their body looks alright because, of course it does, everyone’s body looks alright and it’s only the awful side of our society that would tell them otherwise and I’ve insisted I can tell them that without the photographs, but they send them all the same. Funnily enough, I’m extremely uncomfortable with being even slightly undressed around other people.
Sex, in my mind, is an entirely distinct concept. I don’t like to ever think about sex and it’s out of my mind almost all of the time. The very idea of it, especially the idea of myself ever being involved in that kind of thing, makes me extremely uncomfortable. I don’t like it when my friends tell me about their sex lives and, unless they have some kind of problem they’d like to talk about, it’s something I’d rather they didn’t bring up as, what’s the point? I don’t know, perhaps I have some kind of irrational fear of the subject (I’m not sure why I would though), but the point of this post is, that there’s nothing inherently sexual about the naked human body, and I think it’s a little silly that so many people always associate the two things in that way.

(Click here for the second Finger Puppet Show of the week.)

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