Relationship of Command Review

Relationship of Command is an album by a band called At the Drive-In. Their music isn’t the kind of thing I would normally come across, but Dalfino Madrigal Keyte asked me to review this album on here and so that is what today’s entry is. I haven’t reviewed an album before, but what I shall do is give my thoughts on each song individually.

1. Arcarsenal
This is a short, but very loud and intense piece of music which is sung in a shouty voice. It’s not bad, but, I don’t think it quite has the emotional engagement to make it particularly noteworthy. Rating: 6/10

2. Pattern Against User
This track is a little calmer than the last, and I think the instrumental side of it was very good. Sadly though, I didn’t think that the shouty voiced matched with this piece quite as well, and brought the quality of the track down a little. Still, just a touch above the first track. Rating: 7/10

3. One Armed Scissor
I think this song has something that the other two don’t; it’s quite catchy and you begin to remember the tune as it’s going along. I liked that. It has a very weird ending though, and while I did very much like this when I listened to it just now for the first time, I can imagine that being annoying if you’re just listening to several songs on your iPod or something like that. Rating: 7.5/10

4. Sleepwalk Capsules
While the other songs did all have a loud shouty voice, it was always at least slightly comprehensible. This time I could barely understand it, and this track was, for me, just an angry voice with loud music so I didn’t particularly enjoy it. Rating: 3/10

5. Invalid Litter Dept.
Instrumentally, this one is quite fine, it was an easy listen. But the lyrics for this song are very strange and morbid (‘dancing on the corpse’s ashes’) and while this isn’t always an issue with songs I felt that it was in this case as I kept wondering what on Earth the singer was talking about. Still, it’s probably best to ignore the lyrics while listening to this song and you’ll still probably enjoy it. Rating: 7.5/10

6. Mannequin Republic
I found this song to be rather generic. I really can’t think of anything else to say. Rating: 5/10

7. Enfilade
The opening to this song is very unusual and seems to be a bit of a homage to the Saw series of films. On the whole it was a rather atypical sounding piece of music, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. I did, in fact, find it to be quite a curious listen. Rating: 7/10

8. Rolodex Propaganda
Nothing particularly special or enjoyable about this one. Rating: 4/10

9. Quarantined
This song features the lovely sound of a rainy storm, which is very nice, but sadly it ends quite close to the start. I must admit, the lead singer’s voice isn’t that appealing to me; there’s a fair bit of music before the lyrics start and I was a little disappointed when I realised there was no chance of it being an instrumental piece. A bit of an odd ending too. Rating: 7/10

10. Cosmonaut
This was another song which was just pretty generic and pretty forgettable. Rating: 5/10

11. Non-Zero Possibility
Finally, some variation! Even the weirder songs before this one sounded kind of samey, but this song is quite distinguishable from the rest. This album’s main problem is a lack of variety; it’s pretty much the same until this one, which is very different and very nice. Definitely the best on the album. Rating: 8.5/10

12. Extracurricular
A step down after the last song, but it’s not bad, especially when compared to some of the other tracks on this CD. There’s a certain despairing quality to this song which puts it just above most of the rest. Rating 7.6/10

13. Catacombs
Sadly the ending of this is nothing spectacular. It ends with a blip, rather than a bang, and the very ending has some very weird sounds. Rating: 6/10

In conclusion, it was alright. The kind of music that could be playing quietly in the background of a shop and I wouldn’t mind, but not really anything I’d choose to listen to and certainly not anything I’d pay for. The biggest flaws, for me, were the musician’s singing voice and the lack of variety. Average rating: 6.2/10

(The whole album is available for free here.)

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Debit Destruction

Several weeks ago I headed to a cash machine to top up my phone. I did that, then headed home. It was a few days later that I realised my debit card was missing! I checked my online statement, and that top up had been the last time I’d used it. I was very confused, I had never lost a debit card before, and I had no idea where it could have gotten to. So I headed to the bank, explained the situation and a new card was sent to me a few days later.
    About a week or so later, I was relaxing at home when the phone rang. I answered and found that it was my Nan. She told me that a friend of her’s, who works at the local Co-Operative, had found my debit card and wanted me to come and pick it up. I thought it was quite funny, since I already had a replacement and I wondered how it had gotten there. So I asked her to tell the person who had found the card to destroy it, since I didn’t need it anymore.
    A couple of days later I was out in Bath and planning on buying some lunch. Before I did so, though, I wanted to check how much money was in my account because Student Finance was due to give me some money around that time. Sadly, I’d not be getting any lunch out that day; I opened my wallet and found that my debit card was missing. It seems I’d lost the second one too, and then ordered it destroyed just days afterward…
    Today the third one arrived and it looks much cooler than either of the other two! I hope it lasts a long time…
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Child Abuse

About five years ago my friends and I often spotted a man who would violently hit or shout at his very young son. Now, if it had happened once, we may have assumed that it was just a bad day for the man and he had unfortunately lashed out on the boy because of it, but it seemed that every time we went to the local park, he was there doing some horrible thing to the boy.

Eventually, my good friend Elliott Egan and I (and possibly a third friend of mine, but I can’t remember who) decided that it would be a good idea to intervene. So, when we next saw him violently swear or hit the boy, we went over to have a word with him.

“Alright, mate,” said Egan, “leave him alone!”

“Yes,” I said in agreement. “What you’re doing is hardly necessary or appropriate.”

“Shut up,” he said to us. “You’re lucky my son’s here! You have no right to say that to me. You better hope I don’t see you again.” The violent man then grabbed his son by the arm and walked him away, leaving Egan and I with nothing but strong negative feelings towards him. With him gone, we continued our day as normal, trying to forget the unpleasant experience.

I told my Mum about it all afterward, and she suggested I not stay out late by myself due to his threat. While he was clearly not afraid to use violence, I wasn’t too concerned as I didn’t think the likelihood of bumping into him alone was that high, since I only ever saw him with his son during the day.

As it happens I did bump into him again, and as you can imagine, it wasn’t the most enjoyable of meetings.

“Oh, it’s you,” he said contemptuously. “I’ll teach you to tell me how to raise my son!”

“I’d rather you didn’t,” I said to him, and then quickly fled in the other direction. Despite my rather low level of athletic ability, I was somehow able to escape him; I guess it must have been some kind of adrenalin boost. That was the last time I ever saw him (and luckily Egan managed to avoid him too). That’s twice now that I’ve had a violent threat and then never seen the other person again, but I suppose I can’t always rely on being so lucky…

And that’s the end of the story. You may ask, why did we not simply report him to the police? And that’s a question I can’t answer. It now seems such an obvious solution to the problem, but at the time, for whatever reason, it never really occurred. It’s all quite sad, really, because when we spoke out against him, he clearly got very angry, for all I know, our actions could have simply lead him to unleash more anger on the child, and since we never saw him again, who knows what happened to the pair of them in the next five years? I can only hope things started to improve.

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The Return of the King by J. R. R. Tolkien

PictureThis is the third and final book in the Lord of the Rings trilogy. I heavily suggest that you do not read this if you haven’t read both the first and the second books too. Together, they form one very long book.

Much as with the second, the story is not told linearly. You find out how the war is going for the first half, then it cuts back to Frodo and Sam in Mordor. This means that, again, you have a very long wait until the previous novel’s cliff-hanger is resolved! That one was a pretty big one too, so that was very suspenseful.

There are some big shocks in this book which make it quite an exciting conclusion, but, by this point, there was something I’d noticed Tolkien does a little too often. Specifically, a character will be killed off and a big sad event will be made of it, only for them to have magically survived somehow afterward. Once or twice, is okay, but not as many times as it’s done, I can’t help but feel he was a little afraid of killing his characters. This book also features a return of the boring battle scenes that the previous one had, which is a shame.

But, that said, there’s still lots to enjoy in this book. I’ve said before that each of his books tend to have at least one really interesting or really likeable character and this time it is a woman named Éowyn, who had actually appeared in quite a small capacity in the previous book, but here she has quite an exciting role to fill. I was also very pleased with the ending; I shan’t spoil it, but, it wrapped everything up nicely and certainly did not disappoint. On the whole, this book is equally as good as the second in the trilogy, but sadly, not quite on the same level of the first. Anybody who’s read the first two should definitely finish the story with this!

Rating: 8.5/10

Average rating of the whole trilogy: 8.83/10

Buy it here.

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The Two Towers by J. R. R. Tolkien

PictureThis is the second book in the Lord of the Rings trilogy, I would heavily suggest that you do not read it if you haven’t read the first. I would also suggest that you do not read this review if you haven’t read the first book, as I’m going to mention things which are spoilers for the first, but not for the second.

Things pick up exactly where they left off last time with Frodo and Sam having separated from the rest of the group in their mission to destroy the ring. Though, oddly enough, things aren’t written linearly. For the first half of the book, you’re given no word of Sam and Frodo, and instead find out about what Aragorn and everybody else did next. I can’t quite understand why this was done; although it does build a fair bit of tension for Frodo’s cliff-hanger which I suppose could be the reason. You’re also treated to quite a shock very early on, which is good, but I shan’t spoil it…

As with other Tolkien novels, there are many interesting and likeable characters to be found in this book. One character I particularly liked was somebody called Treebeard. Treebeard is a type of sentient tree called an Ent, which I thought was a very nice idea. Plus several orc characters are introduced who are very effective villains, being both comical and menacing. We’re also treated to the return of two lovely characters from his previous works, including one particular favourite of mine from The Hobbit, which I was very happy about.

Sadly though, while this book certainly is good, it doesn’t quite reach the incredible levels that the previous one did. Part of the reason for this book falling a little short is the fact that there are several battle scenes. I did not find the battles at all fun to read. Often, when going to read a bit more, I dreaded having to read through another boring segment on fighting. Another thing is, that while the first book (and The Hobbit too) were big, bright exciting fantasy stories, here things begin to get quite bleak which took a lot of the fun out of it for me. That said, this is still a good novel and, if you’ve read the first, you should definitely read this.

Rating: 8.5/10

Buy it here.

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The Fellowship of the Ring by J. R. R. Tolkien

PictureThis book is the first in the Lord of the Rings trilogy and is also a kind of sequel to Tolkien’s other novel, The Hobbit, which features several of the same characters. While it wouldn’t be necessary to have read The Hobbit in order to understand this book, it would certainly enhance the experience and I would recommend it.

The story starts with Bilbo Baggins planning the celebrations for his one hundred and eleventh birthday. Bilbo now has an heir who lives with him who is named Frodo. Frodo is, it could be said, the main character to this novel. Bilbo pulls off a big stunt at his party so that he can vanish and Frodo inherits all of his stuff, including the ring he stole from Gollum in The Hobbit. Gandalf comes and has a chat with Frodo and tells him that he must begin a long quest in order to have that ring destroyed, because if he does not, some very bad things indeed will happen.

This book has some really excellent characters who you’ll love reading about. First, there’s Gandalf (who also appears in The Hobbit) a wizard who’s very wise, but also quite playful. You always get the impression that Gandalf knows a lot more than he says he does. Then there’s also Strider, a mysterious man who joins the heroes later on in the novel, I like Strider because he’s a very practical, no nonsense kind of hero. He’s just downright cool, really. But, I think the most loveable character in this book is Samwise Gamgee, the slightly bumbling, but utterly devoted and loyal servant of Frodo. Almost everything he does is adorable. There are other wonderful characters too, such as Tom Bombadil, the strange wizard who lives in the woods, but, I’ll stop myself there.

But the best thing about this novel isn’t the story, nor its excellent cast of characters. Very rarely, I would say the best thing about this novel is its setting. This book is so fantastically immersive! It’s just amazing to pick up this book for a while and to escape to Middle Earth for an hour or so. Tolkien is really good at describing nature and there are times where the characters just walk through the woods for a bit, but it’s STILL really, really good to read. There’re also some pretty good links to The Hobbit which show that it is clearly set in the same world, but that a lot of time has passed, and I like that a lot.

This is one of the best book I’ve ever read. Rating: 9.5/10

Buy it here.

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Broken Phone

Back in 2007 I had a lovely phone. It could send text messages, make calls and one or two other extravagances. It had a nice long life too, but, sadly, by 2011, it was becoming harder and harder to use. Almost everything about it was fine, but it had a small problem: lots of the buttons didn’t work. People kept telling me to buy a new phone and so, in the end, I popped into Sainsbury’s and bought myself a lovely Huawei phone. This one’s very high tech, as well as calls and texts, I can even go on Facebook! Although I only did that three times. It also has a white light that flashes when I’ve received an SMS message, just in case I didn’t notice (there’s also a setting to turn on a ‘Colourful Blinking Light’ but it’s actually only a red light that flashes in between the white flashes).
    So, anyway, as you can see, I had one of the fanciest portable phones available (and it cost me a whole forty pounds!). Sadly, after owning it for two weeks, something bad happened. The phone was in the pocket of my trousers, but it was a pair of trousers I wasn’t wearing at the time which was sitting on the floor and so I accidentally stepped on it and created a big crack in its screen. Some people suggest I go out and buy another one but, really? Who do I look like? This guy? So I kept the cracked phone.
    Several months later I was sat in a Creative Writing seminar when I received a message from one of my friends. I took out my phone and started writing out my reply.
    “Oh no!” said somebody next to me, “what happened to your phone?”
    I explained the story to her.
    “Oh dear,” she said. “Well, don’t worry you can have my Blackberry!”
    This wasn’t quite the reaction I had anticipated. “I expect you need it more than me,” I said.
    “Nah, I’m on contract, I’ll be getting a new one later today.”
    “Well, I’m sure one of your friends is a bit more deserving of it than me,” I said.
    “Well your phone is broken, their ones aren’t! Just take mine, it’s fine.”
    “I’d really feel too bad taking it from you,” I said. “You could sell it and get some money for yourself, or, as I said, give it to one of your friends who might appreciate it more. It was a kind offer, but I really can’t take it.”
    And, with that, I had finally managed to dissuade her from giving me her phone. To this day my cracked phone has served me well.
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To Fall Down At Your Door

(A couple of months ago, I wrote an anecdote to be used another site, but they declined it, and so here it is. I tell you this, as, the writing style will be a little different for that reason.)

Back in winter 2011, I was regularly sleeping over with a good friend of mine. My friend lives in the city of Bath and I live ten miles away in a lovely little town called Corsham. Since I attend a university in Bath and I was often there as late as 8:30 p.m., staying at her house was often a big help. I left my sleeping bag there so that I’d always have a comfortable place to sleep.
    Sadly, this nice little arrangement came to an end around Christmas time, but, of course, this sleeping bag of mine was still at her house. So, on one particularly cold night in February, when I had over an hour’s wait until my next bus, I decided it would be a good idea to pop by and collect it. As well as being handy and convenient, it would also be nice to see a friend rather than sit around by myself. I sent a message, asking whether it would be okay to pop by and get my sleeping bag and she said it would be fine, so I headed towards her house.
    The only downside of this plan was the fact that she happened to live at the top of a very large hill (or, The Hill of Doom as she called it) and I was already feeling a little tired. I wandered up the hill anyway, and it started snowing as I did. Once I got to her house at the top, I actually felt quite faint, but I didn’t really mind because soon I’d be happily inside in the warm. I knocked a few times, but there was no answer. So I knocked again and again. Eventually, I lost all strength and fainted. Luckily, it wasn’t that bad because I fell forward and so was still kind of standing up by leaning on her door. I ‘woke up’ a few seconds later, suddenly feeling quite a bit colder, and continued my knocking. Before long I had been knocking for twenty minutes and, if I didn’t leave soon, I’d miss the last bus home before 11 p.m.. I decided the door probably wasn’t going to be answered, and then walked back to the bus station…
    About an hour and a half later I was back at home and on my laptop.
    I got a message from my friend, “I thought you were coming round mine?” it said and I couldn’t help but laugh.
    (Also, I must say, I hope this story doesn’t give you a negative impression of my friend, she’s lovely, really!)

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A Short History of the World by H. G. Wells

PictureIn this book, Wells sets out to cover the entire history of the planet up until the 1920s (which was the present day for him). This may sound like something that would be really boring to read, but through his lovely writing style he manages to keep it as interesting as any novel all the way through.

The earlier chapters are some of the most interesting. It’s here where he talks about the formation of the Earth in space and the most primal forms of life. He then goes on to talk about the evolution of creatures up to the dinosaurs and their untimely extinction and then onto the earliest clear ancestors of humans. Sadly, with this being ninety years old, the science will not be completely up to scratch and a much more detailed/accurate picture of these very early years in Earth’s history could be painted in a modern book, but nonetheless, you still get a good idea of how these things happened.

Another thing I was particularly fond of was the way in which he covered the origins of the world’s major religions (Buddhism, Christianity, Hinduism, Islam and Judaism.) I found it very interesting to discover the context in which they came about as it helps to give a better understanding of them and their belief systems. I also liked that Wells was, usually, quite neutral when discussing them too, treating their beginnings simply as historical fact, rather than going into any debate about their legitimacy (although it is there very slightly, at times, but not much.)

On the whole, reading this is a very good way to give yourself a better understanding of history and the way in which things are connected. Of course, being a history of everything means it never goes into an event in extreme detail, but that’s not a bad thing, if it did, it would be an entirely different thing. There’s also the fact that some periods of history aren’t quite as interesting as others, so you won’t be enjoying it equally all the way through. Wells says that he wants the book to read in the same way as a novel, while at the same time giving us a history of the planet, and I believe that he has done that rather well. Anybody with even the slightest interest in history should read this book!

Rating: 7.9/10

Buy it here.

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Casino Royale by Ian Fleming

PictureThis novel introduced to the world the very popular character, James Bond. Of course, he’s not the only one; M and Felix Leiter both debut in this book and both would also go on to be prominent figures in the world of James Bond. Otherwise, though, this novel is quite removed from the thing people would usually think of in regards to James Bond.

The story starts with James being sent on a mission to go to a casino and bankrupt a gambler named Le Chiffre because he is known as a man who has been aiding the Russians for the (then current) Cold War. Of course, in between card games, James sneaks around secretly gathering information and whatnot too. Along the way, he is also aided by a woman named Vesper Lynd with whom he shares a degree of sexual tension with.

Sadly, none of this, for me, made for a particularly exciting story. The writing style is completely joyless, and James himself hardly provides any kind of emotional gateway into this gritty world of Cold War espionage. I found scenes of him chatting with villains while he plays baccarat to be plain boring. I will admit though, that things did begin to pick up towards the end of the book, perhaps around the final quarter, but I can’t really tell you how without spoiling the plot. Even once it has improved though, the shift is from boring to depressing, which is hardly the best way for a story to progress. So while you feel nothing but boredom for the first 75%, you’ll feel sad for the final 25% but, hey, at least you’re feeling something!

So while this novel is the book that gave the world James Bond, there really is very little to it, it’s actually one of my least favourite books. Don’t be put off though! Later books in the series are a lot better than this one. Rating: 5/10

Buy it here.

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