Fortune Cookie

A couple of weeks ago, I was out for dinner with a group of good friends in Corsham. We visited a Chinese restaurant called Imperial Garden – very fancy place, with delicious food and a good atmosphere. I ate a vegetarian duck – which I hope indicated that it was a meat alternative and not just a description of the duck’s diet.

Anyway, after finishing off the main course, we were presented with the dessert menu. I love dessert. The restaurant experience doesn’t feel quite complete to me unless I have one. But, I do have a lot of expenses this month, so using all of the will power that I could muster, I declined to have one when the staff returned. I wished that I could have had something called a chocolate cube, but, I supposed, it was not to be. My friends were surprised at my restraint.

I did have a small consolation, however. The staff then brought in fortune cookies for everyone and, oh my, was mine delicious. Sweet and wafery. The fortune it gave me was “An old wish will come true.” I pondered on which of my many old wishes might finally come true. Would I be contacted by the exams board to tell me that, seven years later, they’ve noticed an administrative error and I did get an A in A Level English Language after all?

“So, what dessert would you have gone for if you ordered one?” asked one of my friends.

“Oh, there’s no doubt in my mind,” I said. “It would have been the delicious chocolate cube.”

The conversation then continued on to other subjects for a while, until the waiter was walking past once again.

“Oi, mate,” said my friend. “Get us a chocolate cube, please.”

“Oh my,” I said, “so now my old wish has come true!”

And sure enough, it was just as exciting and delicious as I imagined it would be. What a magical experience.

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Super Mario 64 DS

Back in 2004, when I first heard about Super Mario 64 DS, I was amazed. It felt like I was living in the future. The fact that a portable console now have the power to play a fully 3D adventure was almost unfathomable to me. It made me so excited to get a Nintendo DS and when I did and I played this, I was addicted. I was very deeply immersed in this game – much more, in fact, than I was in the original Super Mario 64. Though as this is a remake, I suggest that you read my earlier review first. Anyway, let me go over both the good and the bad changes that this version of the game makes.

Good Changes:

  • The graphics have been improved and every character and creature now fits the standard level of quality associated with Super Mario character designs. No more really blocky or weird looking characters.
  • Luigi, Wario and Yoshi are all available as unlockable playable characters with a role in the story. This is awesome. Every character is unique and I especially enjoyed playing as both Luigi and Wario.
  • There are several new levels sprinkled throughout the game. One drawing from Super Mario Sunshine, one from Luigi’s Mansion and one even has a returning boss from Paper Mario! Very cool references and throwbacks.
  • The existing levels have had some new stars introduced – although some of them are, admittedly, at the expense of one of the originals. These tend to be the less exciting ones, however.
  • There’s a selection of touch screen-based mini-games to be unlocked – many of them quite fun. These include quickly sorting Bob-ombs based on colour, drawing trampolines for falling Marios and spotting faces hidden in crowds.
  • There’s also a simple, but enjoyable, multiplayer mode where you fight other players over stars in certain levels.

Bad Changes:

  • This game was designed to be played with a + shaped D-pad, while the original was made to be played with a control stick. This means the original controls slightly better – but only slightly. This isn’t the game-breaking change I often see it made out to be.
  • The powers of the Flying Cap, the Metal Cap and the Invisibility Cap are now divided between the characters – rather than just having Mario able to do them all. I wish all the characters could have done them all. They have enough other abilities to make them unique.

As you can see, the changes are mostly for the best and the negative ones are relatively minor. Personally, I think that this is one of the best games on the DS. On my first playthorough, combing through the game and getting 100% was really satisfying and picking it up now, it’s still very fun! For a long time, I considered it the definitive 3D Super Mario experience – though as of 2018, that has changed…

Rating: 9.3/10

Buy it here.

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Fire Safety

I’m back! You may have noticed a lack of posts last week and there’s a reason for that – and it’s a little more exciting than me being too tired or busy to write anything. Although before you get your interests piqued, there is a strong emphasis on the words “a little” before “more exciting.”

On Monday evening, when I returned home from work, I plugged in my laptop’s charger so that I could use it. Unfortunately, the light did not turn on on my laptop and it seemed the charger was not working. I thought that maybe it wasn’t plugged in properly, so I took hold of the cable to look a little more closely – then I heard a fizzing sound and saw that part of the wire was on fire.

I dropped it, since it was near my hand, and it fell on the floor. I took a tentative look at it, concerned that that little fire may have spread, but instead I just saw the wire laying severed – each end smoking peacefully. I’ve had a few laptops over the years and a few more laptop chargers, but I’ve never known anything like this to happen.

Naturally, I ordered a replacement right away. When it arrived, it didn’t actually fit my laptop despite saying it would online, so I thought about sending it back, but then decided against it when I saw how pathetic the packaging was – this clearly wasn’t created by a business with many customers. They probably needed that £10 more than me. So then I ordered another one and now here we are.

I sometimes have weeks where the ideas for these blog posts don’t come so readily, but ironically I had loads of ideas last week. But it doesn’t matter, now that I have a new charger I can get back on track and continue to provide you with what I hope you will regard as top notch internet content.

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No Shave November

I don’t like facial hair. Well, no, that’s too broad a statement. Let me rephrase that: I don’t like facial hair growing on my face – on anyone else’s face, sure, that’s fine, but I think it looks as good on me as it does on most babies. I’m very envious of those who do not grow it, because mine seems to grow at about a hundred miles an hour – not literally, thank goodness, because that would be a living hell for anyone and, maybe, everyone. But it does seem excessively fast.

With this in mind, I’d like to mention that I am going to do No Shave November this year. This will be the first time in my life that I’ve grown out my facial hair beyond the level of just being stubble, which I am sure will be interesting to some, as I’ve been encouraged to grow it out by a few people before. I’ve even been told that it might make me look handsome – who knows? So, if you want to give money to charity because I’ve decided not to shave for a month, click here! That sounds like a bit of a non-sequitur… but do it anyway.

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Assassination Classroom, Volume 7 by Yusei Matsui

Volume 6 ended with the cliffhanger of looming exams and Volume 7 starts with those exams taking place. Once again, these are represented as epic battles between the students and large monsters. Though I generally don’t find exam storylines to be as exciting as other, I do have to admit that this is a clever way of portraying the in a visual medium.

However, once the exams are all wrapped up, the action moves to a tropical island resort. Here the students plan out the perfect assassination – something which could they’re sure could never go wrong. I really appreciated this change of setting as keeps the story nice and fresh (rather than just always being in the classroom.)

I have to say, this volume does just about everything right. There’s a lot of comedy and affability from Koro-sensei, but also a lot of high-stakes drama. I really enjoyed the big attempt on Koro-sensei and the consequences of that (I won’t spoil anything) and by the end, things are much more serious than they have ever been in any volume up to this point. It’s hard to stop reading. But at the same time, some of the moments in this are some of the funniest so far. There’s a good mix.

So, if you’ve read up through the first six volumes and are wondering whether or not to get the next, definitely do it. This is such a good instalment and I regret not instantly starting to read the following volume when I finished it. I’m reading something else now, which I’ll force myself to finish first. It’s by no means bad, but Assassination Classroom is just in this sublime realm of its own.

Rating: 9.8/10

Buy it here.

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The Best Stories are Balls of String

I’ve been thinking about what makes a story a good one and I’ve come up with something that was never really taught to me when I studied Creative Writing. A lot of people think of plots as a simple progression from point A to point B, which you can visualise as a piece of string. But I think this is far too simple, in fact, as you can probably tell from this post’s title, I think the best stories are, in fact, balls of string.

Know what I mean? Perhaps not, so allow me to unpack that metaphor for you. One string is one person’s story, going from point A to point B and each novel is going to contain quite a number of characters. All of these characters should have their own complete and distinct stories which intersect with the main stories, until you have a whole ‘ball of string’ of overlapping stories and ideas. The prospect of two of the different characters’ stories intertwining should be as exciting as introducing two old friends.

I’ll admit, it might not be quite a ‘ball’ of string, maybe more like a tangle, but ‘ball’ sounds more interesting. A perfect example of a novel which does this is Les Misérables, which is one of my favourite novels – there are so many characters in it and their lives are all connected in different ways. While this approach may not work for every type of novel, I still think that it’s something worth keeping in mind. If you think of a character and have an idea for the story you’d like to tell with them, it would then be good to come up with another character whose involved with that story, but who’s on a different story of their own. At very least, this will make the world of your story a more believable one.

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Apple Pie Jewellery

Take a look at this incredibly cool and stylish bracelet that I have. Where did it come from? Why, it’s a piece of Apple Pie Jewellery. It was created by a dear friend of mine who happens to be very good at creating jewellery. Not only does she provide bespoke designs, such as the one I have here, but also a fantastic range of pre-made items. And where can you find this amazing jewellery range? You can find it here.

With Christmas just around the corner, you’re probably looking to buy gifts for the people you like and buying from the Apple Pie Jewellery Etsy shop will ensure that the gift you buy is nice and unique and not just something you’ll find in any Poundland or wherever you usually buy your jewellery. And I get it: Poundland is affordable and our economy is awful – but I feel as though the Apple Pie Jewellery prices are all pretty decent as well.

I hope that does a good job of persuading you – in previous jobs I’ve persuaded people to buy products I have much less interest in and this is something I genuinely want to be successful! You know what to do.

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Halo 2

In the video game world, successful games nearly always get sequels – so the fact that Halo 2 was released a few years after the success of Halo: Combat Evolved is no big surprise. Still, I am pleased that it did get a sequel because while the first game was pretty good – this one was even better. I know that some people go so far as to consider this one of the greatest games ever made – is that how I feel too? Well, you will have to keep reading if you want to find out.

In every way, this game is better than its prequel. First, there’s the story. The first game focused mainly on the conflict between the humans, the Covenant and later the Flood. I have no issues with the original story – but I have to admit that it wasn’t particularly groundbreaking (though I did really like how the Flood were used.) This time, the Halo universe is much more fleshed out, because in some of the levels you play as the Arbiter, an alien who fights for the Covenant. Honestly, I found him a more interesting character than Master Chief – partly, because he receives a much greater degree of character development. All of a sudden, the war is much more three dimensional and the world more believable. Sadly, the ending leaves a lot to be desired (it pretty much just ends all of a sudden) and it wan anti-climax for me, but I feel that it was probably their way of luring people into a sequel… not that I agree with it.

In terms of gameplay, it’s much the same as the first game: a first person shooter with a sequence of somewhat open levels to get through. One of my issues with the first game is that the levels were clearly copy and pasted to make them bigger, which meant that they were easy to get lost in and that they could get monotonous. Thankfully, none of the new levels in this game have that problem. Plus, as well as being better designed from a gameplay perspective, they’re also much more aesthetically pleasing. I guess graphical capabilities had improved in the few years that had passed.

I should also mention that this game originally had online multiplayer via Xbox Live, which was a new and unusual thing at the time. These online services have been discontinued, but it does highlight that this was quite an innovative game for its time. (Though it does also highlight the fact that online content in games has a very short life span…)

Overall, I definitely understand why people have such a high opinion of this game. It’s fun to play, it controls well, it looks good, has a nice soundtrack, an engaging story and provides a perfect escape into the world of sci-fi. Definitely worth giving a try.

Rating: 9.3/10

Buy it here.

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An Update on Finger Puppet Show

Regular readers will have probably realised that it has been quite a long time since one of these blog posts ended with “(Don’t miss today’s Finger Puppet Show!)” and the reason for that is because I have not updated it in over a year now.

It’s a shame, because I wasn’t planning to take such a long break – it just ended up happening that way. When I was creating my 500th strip, it ended up taking up a lot more time than I expected. It was silly of me, really, because my idea for that strip isn’t really that good, but it’s creation is still going to be very time consuming. I actually thought I’d get it done right on time to post as part of a regular update, but when it ended up taking longer than planned, I made a strip which said that it might take a little longer than usual before the next update…

Sadly, after I had acknowledged that there was going to be a gap, I used it as an excuse to be lazy. At the time, I was working in a call centre and had a ridiculously erratic schedule which made it hard for me to do things in my free time. Thankfully, I have a good job again now and I’d easily have time to continue my webcomic – and this is something I want to do. I’m committed to resuming it before the end of the year, hopefully sooner rather than later and I’m a little ashamed in myself for letting it get so out of hand – so I do apologise to the very small number of people who enjoyed reading it!

Okay – disregard what I just said. I just looked at my webcomic and it seems that I last updated it in May this year. My memory is really getting bad these days… I feel less bad about the gap now, because it’s less than half the size I thought it was! It is true that the call centre job slowed me down though and I still aim to get back on track ASAP!

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Fitness Instructor

I don’t really do all that much exercise – just a few runs throughout the week. I should probably do more, but a lot of my time is taken up with eating ice cream and pizza, so there’s not much more room in my schedule. Anywho, for today’s blog post, I wanted to share the story of the greatest fitness instructor I ever knew.

Earlier this week, I was out on an evening run. Quite often I will go through the woods on these runs – they’re quite peaceful and actually I find it less tiring to run in complete darkness. The wooded area that I run through isn’t too far away from the train tracks which run through Corsham and as I was running along, a train drove past me. The noise of the train caused a rustling in the bushes as, presumably, an animal had been scared by the sound.

It was at that moment that I met them. The fitness instructor I referred to in the introduction of this post. You may wonder what a fitness instructor was doing in the woods, so I’ll be honest with you, the fitness instructor was this ambiguous animal. And in what sense was it a finess instructor? you ask – well, allow me to explain.

As the scared animal ran out of the bushes, it stopped right in front of me, so I narrowly avoided it as I moved around it. Once I had passed it, I heard that it was starting to run after me. Rather than risk getting my ankles bitten by an angry badger (if it was a badger) I decided to quickly sprint so that I could outrun the creature – and I did. Never before has any living being persuaded me to run so quickly, which is why I consider this the best fitness instructor I have ever had.

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