I’m quite an optimistic person. I think it’s always best to look on the bright side and I don’t usually find it especially hard to do so. Without meaning to sound at all arrogant or boastful, I might go as far as to say that this is a good ‘quality’ of mine, in that it helps me to help other people cheer up a little when they’re feeling sad.
Just yesterday, however, I was speaking to a friend of mine and they said to me “Adam, one day you won’t be able to see the bright side of things and then you’re whole view of life will crumble and you’ll have a nervous breakdown” which I thought was a rather sad prediction for my future. But I have to wonder, is it really possible to be too optimistic? Since that was said, I’ve been wondering about it a lot. As I’ve said before, aside from the odd dip, I can quite earnestly say that I am happy all of the time. But, do we really live in a world where it’s not possible for that kind of happiness to last? Why must I be heading towards a terrible downfall? Perhaps I really am so naive that I can’t see that, or perhaps my friend has a sadly damaged view of the world, I don’t know. Perhaps the fact that I’m questioning this shows that I’m not ‘too’ optimistic after all because, if I were, I’d not doubt this for a second!
But this brings me to some other concerns people have had about me. An awful lot of people are concerned that I am prone to be taken advantage of by others. These often come along with people’s concerns that I am ‘too afraid’ to say no when somebody asks something of me, but this make me think that people don’t quite understand the way my mind works. I like to always say yes when somebody asks me to do something, it makes me feel good about myself, whereas it seems that people perceive me as reluctantly going along with whatever people say due to inability, or fear, of saying no. I especially like doing nice things for people I don’t like. Well, I say people, but there’s only one person that I dislike, so I bought him a bag of cookies. With other good deeds you can question your intentions “I did a good thing, but then again I like this person and I want them to like me too, is it really a good deed, or a selfish one?” but then, when I do something for somebody I don’t like, I don’t have that question. Although, on the other hand I do feel bad about disliking this person for no real reason other than that I find him incredibly annoying in every sense.
So I just wanted to write this so that people who know me could, hopefully, develop a better understanding of my motivations and so that people who don’t know me can learn a little more. I think I should also say, that I hope this entry doesn’t make it sound like I am annoyed at people presenting their concern about these things to me. I think it’s nice to know that somebody’s concerned about me, as it’s a good sign that they care. I just don’t think these concerns are grounded and, therefore, have written this entry as a form of reassurance.
(Today’s Finger Puppet Show.)
