Super Mario Kart

PictureI’m sure that everybody’s familiar with the Mario Kart series in one way or another, and this is the game that started it all. In its first instalment, the series isn’t quite what it would later become, but this is still a good game.

Presumably due to the limitations of the time, there is only a selection of eight characters: Mario, Luigi, Peach, Toad, Yoshi, Koopa, Bowser and Donkey Kong Jr. The small number of characters doesn’t really bother me very much though, and I’m actually quite pleased that you can be Donkey Kong Jr. (who at the time of writing has never returned to the series.) There are, however, twenty different race courses which is quite a nice number. While one or two of the tracks may have similar aesthetics, they all have layouts that make them different enough for me to enjoy them as unique experiences.

The single player mode gives you the option of two different classes, 50cc and 100cc, (and a time trail mode) with one being easier than the other and each having a handful of cups to win. I had a lot of fun racing through 50cc mode with the only potential downside being that it was perhaps too easy. There were several times when I lapped the racer who was in last place. Then I started doing the cups at 100cc. All of a sudden, things seemed to be quite challenging. I certainly wasn’t lapping anybody any more. But it was all in good fun. Once that’s done (and I hope this won’t be considered a spoiler) you unlock 150cc mode which, for me, was an absolutely insane level of difficulty.

The CPU racers in this game work in a way which, on 150cc mode, can be extremely frustrating. You see, each racer isn’t out to win; each racer is out to ensure that they will come in their designated position and that you will come last. So it’s very much a case of you against them. They also don’t seem to be slowed by going off-road, whereas you are slowed very significantly.

But that’s not all. Most significantly they have an unlimited supply of items. In the game, you go over item boxes and then get something which will help you in that race (a mushroom to go faster, a shell to throw at other racers) but the CPUs don’t get anything from item boxes because they all have an infinite number of one kind of item which matches their character (often ones you cannot use yourself). For example, Donkey Kong Jr. has unlimited bananas which he’ll drop to make you skid out of control if you’re behind, or throw ahead of you, if you’re in front of him.

Does that seem a fair trade for your scattered access to every item? Well, I’m afraid it isn’t. Mario and Luigi have unlimited stars, and that means they have unlimited invincibility and merely touching them will make you skid out. Oh, and it makes them go faster too. You’d think that the annoying thing would be the fact that you’d then be unable to slow them down with your own items, wouldn’t you? Well, every CPU character can just jump really high in the air to avoid any items anyway, so, you’ll probably miss them half the time! You lack this magic jump power, by the way.

But I don’t want to give this game a bad review. It is still a good game. There’s also a multiplayer mode which will probably be the main feature for anybody who has somebody to play with. Playing with a friend is very fun and it suffers from none of the downsides that the single player mode occasionally does. There’s also a ‘Battle Mode’ where two players can fight against one another in their karts, using the items. It’s sad that only two people can play together, but it’s good fun even with two.

This is a game that’s definitely worth a try, but its later difficulty can’t be understated. Rating: 8.5/10

Buy it here.

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Who on Earth is Tom Baker? by Tom Baker

PictureAs you may be able to guess from the title, this book is the autobiography of Tom Baker, the actor best known for his portrayal of the Fourth Doctor on Doctor Who. His version of the Doctor is known for being a rather comedic, and from reading this it seems very clear that this stems from Tom himself as the majority of the book is written in a rather humorous style.

However, despite its light tone, the book actually covers some very depressing subject matter. He talks a lot about struggling with suicidal thoughts, of never having been able to form significant bonds with others, of acts of self-harm and various other things of that kind. I remember reading a line, and smiling because I thought it was funny, but then immediately afterwards feeling awful because it was a joke about a very serious thing that actually happened. But since the sufferer made the joke, I guess that makes it a little less bad? Maybe.

But, of course, it’s not only depressing. What I quite liked is the fact that it seems that when Doctor Who came into his life, it was at the point when he was at his absolute lowest. It’s presented as a kind of shining beacon which gave meaning to his life, and I find it nice that the show is something that was very important to his life. As a fan of Doctor Who, it pleases me that it was of some special significance to one of its main actors, rather than just being one of many jobs. At the same time, you have to feel a bit sorry for him though, when he speaks about the difficulties of typecasting.

So, I think this book is worth buying for anybody who has an interest in Tom Baker. There are some excellent facts about the making of Doctor Who and I certainly enjoyed finding out about his life, which has been full of unusual happenings. He lived through the blitz, he lived as a monk, he went into the army, and, of course, was a successful actor. As I’m sure you can tell, that makes for some very good reading. Sadly, the ending seems a bit sudden, but then again I guess it must be awfully hard to end an autobiography when you’re still living the story it’s telling.

Rating: 8.3/10

Buy it here.

(Don’t miss today’s Finger Puppet Show!)

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Three Good Writers

Monique Berry the editor of Perspectives magazine recently alerted me to the fact that they had an open submission for stories told from the point of view of inanimate objects. I thought I may as well write something for it, and thought about it over the next day or so. I remembered after a little while that my good friend Sophie had actually written a rather nice story about a sentient couple of shoes, and so I suggested she should submit it as I’d rather enjoyed it. Sadly, she didn’t seem to think it was as good as I did, but eventually she decided to send it in anyway. It was around this time that I was also talking about it to my other good friend, Oscar Taylor-Kent and he told me that he had written a few stories from the point of view of inanimate objects, and asked whether they would reprint stories that bad been posted elsewhere. I told him no because I believed that to be true, but then later felt awful because I was wrong. Importantly, he still sent his story in in time, so Oscar, Sophie and I had all sent pieces of writing to the same place.
    And guess what? We all got published and our stories are in the issue of Perspectives that was published today! Why not go and read it? Oscar’s story is a dark comedy written from the point of view of a cactus, with a sense of humour so dry it perfectly suits the desert setting. Sophie, as I mentioned above, wrote about shoes, and it’s a whimsical tale with some rather sweet characters and it isn’t without its own dose of humour either. Oh, and I wrote a story about a photograph, or something.
    The cherry on the cake that is this happy little story is that Monique was so pleased that I had gotten two other people to submit to the magazine and that both of them were of publishing-level quality, that she’s sending us all gifts in the mail! How nice.

(Don’t miss today’s Finger Puppet Show!)

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Art Exam

I’ve always wanted to be good at making visual art, so, I guess it should be no surprise that I chose Art as one of my GCSE options. I had hoped that the classes would help me to become a good artist, but as far as I remember every class pretty much went along the lines of “use this hour to do some art” without any real direction.
    So, sadly, I didn’t really learn anything in those classes. Still, I enjoyed them nonetheless because in the seating plan I was next to my friend Sarah so I spent most of the classes just talking to her while I worked on several different A1 pieces of work. A day with an art class in it, to me, was just a day with an extra free hour in it. I had to go into the class, but otherwise I had nothing to do.
    Anyway, one day I was at home, almost ready for bed, when I remembered that the next day was the art exam. The exam was ten hours long and was done for five hours over two days and you had to draw something on a big A1 sheet of paper. What I’d forgotten, however, was that I needed to bring in an original photograph which I owned the copyright of. Back then I wasn’t really into photography, so, I didn’t have a backlog I could just take something from. So, what I had to do was print off my Bebo display picture (which was a photograph of me). For those who don’t know, back in 2008 Bebo was an immensely popular social networking site.
    I arrived with the little picture of myself and then spent the next ten hours turning it into an A1 sized self-portrait. Actually, it only took me about three hours and then I was finished, but I still had to be there for the full ten. Thankfully, I had a few episodes of The Waltons safe on my iPod, so I watched them all. It’s probably the most unusual exam I’ve ever done (so far!). Why yes, I did get an E grade at the end? How did you guess?

(Click here for a Doctor Who fanfiction by me!)

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Fizzy Drinks

I don’t really drink much beside my favourite drink, water. I always have my Trusty Water Bottle with me and, throughout the day, I am always drinking a little bit, so I never really get thirsty. Having said that, occasionally I’ll find myself craving a fizzy drink. The problem is, I don’t like fizzy drinks. I can just about stomach Diet Coke, Dandelion and Burdock and Appletiser, but most of the others make me feel sick pretty quickly. Yet I still want them from time to time.
    Maybe one day I’ll be thinking to myself “A Dr. Pepper would be nice tonight” and I’ll look fondly on the days when I liked Dr. Pepper and think that it could be like that again. Of course, on these rare times that I get these cravings I don’t like it once I get it, but I get one every time all the same (silly old me). I’ll enjoy the first sip, of course, and probably even the seventh sip too, but I can never manage a whole bottle. It’s usually about 1/3 of the 500ml bottle, at most, that I manage.
    Last time a thought occurred to me: how come they barely have any drinks in cans these days? I can usually manage a can (not always) but then, nearly every drink seems only to come in a huge bottle. I have to wonder why this is. Have people always wanted more than a mere can and moved towards the bigger bottles? Or have companies moved towards the bottles and phased out the cans in order to earn more money? I mean, the fact that I buy them just proves that it will work. I miss cans.

(Don’t miss today’s Finger Puppet Show!)

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Writers’ Guilt

Recently, the author of Irregular Webcomic wrote a very interesting blog post about including politics within his work. He explained that he made a conscious effort not to include anything of that kind because he wanted his work to have a universal appeal and, also, because he didn’t want his work to become ‘preachy’. He explained that he often felt extremely guilty about it because he felt he should be ‘fighting to change the world’ or something along those lines. Despite the fact that I like to make my political beliefs clear in my work, it’s a feeling I completely relate to. While I do promote my views, I often wonder whether or not I’m doing enough. Perhaps every writer feels that way, no matter how much or how little they do for their cause?
    In the end, I don’t think that it’s something writers should worry about. You can have a masterpiece which really pushes societal expectations, or you can have one which does nothing to comment on politics. Though, having said that, when we look to the past we find that it is the progressive pieces, the one which challenged their societies, which are the ones which have remained popular. But I’m not sure whether this is because the author is being very progressive, or because the novel is doing something new (“A woman doing X? What an interesting story idea!” for example). Perhaps a progressive attitude is more likely to produce original artworks? I’m not sure. But, either way, I don’t think writing needs to have something to say about our world in order to be of value.

(Don’t miss today’s Finger Puppet Show!)

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Dreamy Bus Ride

It was December 2011. I was rather tired and, as I so often am in these anecdotes, I was riding on a bus. I think it must have been one of those days when I had to get up at 6 a.m. because I wasn’t normally so tired. Now, of course, buses are so incredibly comfortable and relaxing, so, riding on one while sleepy is very likely to make you doze off.
    I kept switching between dreaming and waking, and dreams seemed to be merging with reality. There were lots of posters up on the walls and I kept thinking that the words were flying off the paper towards me, then I’d blink myself back into real life and I’d realise that, of course, those letters weren’t actually flying around. That wasn’t the only thing I dreamt though. I was also sure that I was riding the bus along with David Tubb and, indeed, in the dream I was quite deep into a conversation with him. I think I was talking to him about how I kept thinking the words were coming off the wall.
    Then I blinked myself back again. I looked to my right, wanting to say something else to David, but instead there was just an old woman and she didn’t look especially amused. Oh. How sad. And I was very sad, because the dream had seemed very real. Imagine if you were out having a nice time with one of your best friends and then all of a sudden they vanished into thin air! It wouldn’t be very nice. Like you’re having a lovely warm shower on a cold winter’s day and then the water suddenly stops. So then I had to enjoy the rest of my bus ride alone, which is an awfully silly thing to say, since I actually enjoyed the entirety of the trip alone. I wonder if I was sleep-talking to the woman next to me?
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Kid Icarus

PictureUntil recently, this had been one of Nintendo’s more overlooked games. I think the reason that this game became slightly obscure is the fact that, in a way, it is rather weird. The gameplay is a little like a mixture between The Legend of Zelda and Metroid and features many scrolling 2D platforming levels, except, instead of scrolling left or right, you always have to go upward (which can be incredibly annoying, because you can never go down, to go lower than the screen, even if there is land there, will kill you), so it’s certainly very unique.

Story-wise, while it’s all very clearly based on Greek mythology, it pretty much does its own thing. You play as a young angel named Pit who is trapped in the Underworld. As Pit, you need to escape the Underworld and then go on to save Angel Land from the rule of the evil Medusa. It’s the kind of basic story that you’d expect from a NES game.

What’s especially strange about this game is the difficulty. There are four worlds, and the first two are so much harder than the later two. As you progress through the game, you collect things which make Pit more powerful, the problem is, that without these things he’s really rather weak, making it disproportionately hard to begin with. Also, even when powered-up, Pit’s really slow. This can be pretty irritating when you have enemies which quickly move all around the screen and harm you on contact and especially bad when, at the start, Pit can’t take much damage before he dies and you have to start all over again. There are also enemies which, with no warning, will steal your power ups meaning that an encounter with them can be worse than anything else.

On the whole, it’s worth a try as it’s an interesting part of Nintendo’s past. It can be quite fun, especially if you have a version with save states and it’s nice to get to know Pit since his revival in 2012. The graphics may not be fantastic (I hate black skies), but they’re not bad for their time. There’s an interesting selection of unique enemies (even if some of them are infuriating) and one of them even provides a lovely little connection to Metroid.

Rating: 7.9/10

Buy it here.

(Don’t miss today’s Finger Puppet Show!)

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Trousers

I recently had my friend Tülin stay at my house overnight, and that was awfully nice because I’ve never done that before. We had a lovely day, including eating delicious pizzas, having a couple of walks and a video call with my other friend Rhino Water. But of course, the time eventually came for the fun to end and for us to go to bed.
    Sadly, there was something which I’d overlooked. A lot of people tell me that they struggle to sleep lately, because it’s far too hot in their bedrooms, but I’m very lucky not to have that problem in my room. It was a problem, however, with the additional body heat generated by their being an extra person sleeping in the room and I really did struggle to sleep that night. My friend, however, seemed to have been slightly luckier.
    I’d been lying awake, trying to sleep, when the silence was unexpectedly broken by Tülin.
    “That must be a pain,” she said.
    It was rather muffled though, and I didn’t entirely hear what she said.
    “Did you just say that you were in pain?” I asked, quite concerned. I moved closer to her so that I would definitely hear what she said next.
    “No, I just said it must be a pain, about the trousers, I mean,” she elaborated.
    “What trousers? I’m afraid I’m quite confused,” I said.
    “Weren’t we just having a conversation about how you find it hard to find trousers that fit, because you’re so tall?”
    “Well, we did have a conversation along those lines about two years ago, but certainly not within the last few minutes.”
    “Oh, well, I guess I dreamt the first half of the conversation,” she said.
    “That makes sense,” I said.
    “Sorry, goodnight!” and she went back to sleep. Hopefully my dream-counterpart found a more interesting conversation topic than the difficulty of finding trousers after that.

(Don’t miss today’s Finger Puppet Show!)

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Premonition

I recently had a dream that one of my internet friends came to visit me in Corsham. We were having a lovely time in Lovely Land, but then I realised something was amiss. My friend was feeling a bit down about something, and I asked them what was the matter. They became very upset and told me that they’d become pregnant after regretfully getting a little carried away one night and engaging in unprotected sex. I felt very sorry for them, because they were absolutely distraught and did not know what to do, so I gave them some comforting words which made them feel a bit happier and realise that it wasn’t so bad after all.

The dream came to an end shortly after, and I woke up. I thought it was a bit of an odd dream and I wrote it down in my dream journal with as much detail as I could remember. I didn’t pay too much mind to it, and then went on with my day as usual. The following day, I was on Facebook and I realised one of my internet friends was online. I hadn’t spoken to them in some time so I was keen to catch up with them. Now, this wasn’t the same friend from my dream, but when speaking to them, it just so happens that they had become pregnant and were a little worried about it too! I mentioned how curious it was that, just the other day I’d dreamt that an internet friend had become pregnant.

“You dreamt an internet friend became pregnant? Well, here I am!” she wrote.

I thought that was an interesting little coincidence, though I don’t believe it was any kind of premonition, despite what the title may imply. I simply thought that ‘Premonition’ would be an interesting title to an anecdote. Sorry.

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