10. I think I’ll start with the least exciting of the accidents. You know how sometimes the bus drivers like to turn the engine off at every bus stop? Well, I guess this isn’t a very clever idea; one day the bus driver pulled into a bus stop the passengers got on and he prepared to drive away again. Unfortunately, when he did try to drive a way the bus engine wouldn’t turn on again… Luckily it did start eventually, but only after about ten to fifteen minutes of futile attempts by the busman.

9. On my commute, I go through several rather countryside-y areas. At night, it’s usually hard to see much through the windows, but one evening I saw something that looked rather odd: One of the buses was crashed into a bush and seemingly waiting for a nearby tow-truck to pull it out.

8. I’m sure you’d know what I meant if I told you that bus riding is a bit ‘wobbly’. One time the driver pressed perhaps a little too hard on the breaks, meaning that, not only did the people standing up fall and have to grab onto something, but the majority of the passengers fell out of their seats too.

7. To get out of Bath Spa University, the long orange buses have to pull out onto a very busy road. Obviously, if you’re going to pull out into a busy road you need, not only, to do it carefully in order to avoid any problems for yourself, but also to avoid causing problems for other traffic. Well, one time the busman simply drove out, barely turning at all, and then ended up stuck in the middle in a position which blocked all other traffic from passing. It took quite some time for the busman to get us out of that sticky situation.

6. Some busmen are quite kind and, even if a bus isn’t due to leave in some time, they’ll let you sit inside the immobile bus in order to keep warm. One time, while sitting in an immobile bus, another busman came in and started chatting to the driver; he told him a story which really makes you wonder how safe bus driving is: apparently a friend of his (also a bus driver) had spoken to a bus mechanic because he was a little concerned that he bus might have a problem with it. The mechanic checked the bus’s engine and all the other parts and then assured him that it was all fine. Then, just as the busman was driving off again, the engine ‘exploded’.

5. This next bus accident links directly to the previous one. Once the two busmen had finished talking about the bus which had ‘exploded’, they moved onto another recent bus related misadventure. One bus driver had been driving along in one of the orange buses (ones which are twice of long, have a bendy bit and also an extra door near the middle) and he inadvertently forgot to close the doors in the middle of the bus. I’m finding it quite hard to imagine, but this is what they said happened: it had been very rainy that day, so when he drove along quite a lot of rain got in through the open door, so much, in fact, that the bus was ‘flooded’ and could no longer be used.

4. Accidents 7, 6 and 5 have all been related to Bath’s double length orange buses, ones which I believe must be hard to drive. Here’s a fourth orange bus accident: The bus driver accidentally steered a little sharply, so he went into a turning at the wrong angle. But that’s not really a problem right? He can just reverse, straighten and go! So he started reversing, but he went a little too far and hit (rather powerfully I might add) the car behind.

3. Still, everyone has minor collisions on the road every now and then right? The busman either didn’t care or didn’t notice, and off he drove, ready to continue to journey… Except that he made another critical error and drove straight onto the pavement, almost hitting the wall. On the bright side, at least that means I get two things for this list out of one bus ride!

2. To get to Bath Spa University you have to drive down a rather long and narrow road and, since there’s a bus stop there, several buses drive down it throughout the day. As you would expect, when two buses heading in opposite directions head down the narrow road, certain problems can arise. Obviously, what they always do is reverse, pull over and give the other bus plenty of room. Heh heh, no, they didn’t do that one time I was on there, instead they just decided to drive past each other very slowly, scraping and tearing at the other’s bodywork as they did. Both of the buses were very badly scraped by this incident, and both busmen were quite angry. So after waiting while the buses rubbed each other, the drivers decided to prolong this inconvenience by going outside an arguing with each other for a while… But they didn’t (as many of the other commuters had hoped) have a fight.

1. When you’re riding on a bus, the main thing you want is to be safe right? Well, rest assured, you will be. While waiting at the bus station one day a bus mechanic was doing some work on a bus (the bus I’d be riding home on to be precise). Obviously the bus was being problematic because, after several minutes of tinkering, the mechanic kicked the bus. This kick triggered the buses defence mechanisms to start up: a large alarm went off along with a loud looping female voice which said “Warning, this bus is under attack, please dial 999”. So now you can be assured that, if an unarmed terrorist tries to destroy society one bus at a time, this handy alarm will go off and a good natured soul will save you from them by phoning the police.