Customer Service Interactions

Posted on April 28, 2018 by Adam Randall

In the past, I held a customer service based job. In the name of professionalism, I shan’t divulge any information about what the business was, but I wanted to share some of my more unusual interactions with customers. Here are just a few:

Me: Hello, how can I help?
Customer: (angry tone) Basically, I’m having a lot of trouble with my order.
Me: Okay, well, just to let you know, inquiries about existing orders have to go through customer services and unfortunately, you are not through to them at the moment.
Customer: I know that! You really need to go back to customer service school, because you’re being very rude.
Me: I’m very sorry you feel that way. I did not mean to be rude. I just needed to tell you that you’ll need customer services if you want to-
Customer: C*nt. (hangs up)

Me: Could I have your name, address and telephone number, please?
Customer: No. I wouldn’t have to provide all these details if I ordered in a store, so why should I do so when buying something over the phone?
Me: I’m afraid we can’t send you anything if we don’t know who you are or where you live.

Me: Could I take your postcode please, sir?
Customer: (sigh) It’s XXX XXX.
Me: Thank you. And the first line of your address now, please.
Customer: You should already have it, I’ve given you my post code!
Me: Unfortunately, post codes indicate specific areas, but not specific houses, so you’ll still need to tell me.

Me: Could I have your customer number, please?
Customer: You’ve got a very sexy voice.
Me: Your customer number, please.
(later)
Customer: It’s a shame we can’t fool around together sometime.
Me: Is there anything else you wanted to order today?

Me: Customer services are busy at the moment, so you’ve come through to me.
Customer: Alright, well, I’ve got an ongoing complaint and I need you to look into it.
Me: Okay, well, I don’t have access to the records, but leave me your name and number and I’ll have customer services call you back tomorrow. I know I said they were busy earlier, but I’m so used to saying that. I meant to say they’re actually not in today.
Customer: So you lied to me.
Me: Well, I wouldn’t say that. I misspoke to you is how I’d put it.
Customer: Nah. You lied. You can’t back-peddle now. You know I record all of these calls?
Me: Okay. That’s perfectly fine. I do not have an issue with that.
Customer: Yeah. And I’m sending the recording to the newspapers. I’m sure they’ll be very interested to know that you lied to me so openly.
Me: Well, you are of course perfectly entitled to do that, but I don’t think the newspapers will actually be as interested as you expect them to be.
Customer: Oh, they will be very interested…
(five minutes of pointless arguing later)
Customer: I’m just mainly annoyed at you for wasting my time.
Me: With all due respect sir, I could just as easily say that you have wasted my time. You’ve been speaking about what you perceived as a lie for five minutes now.
Customer: I’m the customer. You can’t say I’m wasting time.
Me: Well, I have.
Customer: (hangs up)

Me: And could I take your date of birth, please?
Customer: What do you want next, my bloody eye colour?
Me: While I appreciate the offer, I wouldn’t have a field to put that in.

Me: Okay dokey. So, now I’m going to need your product code.
Customer: Urgh. Can you please not use that hugely irritating phrase, please?
Me: I’m sorry. Would you prefer righty-ho?

Customer: I love that beautiful smile in your voice.
Me: Oh my.

That’s enough for now, but I may write another post on this subject in the future.

(Don’t miss today’s Finger Puppet Show!)

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Les Misérables by Victor Hugo

Posted on April 25, 2018 by Adam Randall

A lot of people might be put off of reading Les Misérables due to two things: the fact that it’s from the 19th century and the fact that it is one of the longest novels ever written. But I implore you: give it a chance! I’ll admit, it could be shorter, but reading it was such a moving, emotive experience (quite unlike anything else I’ve read) and I think there’s a lot to be gotten out of reading it.

For me, this was a “bus stop book.” What I mean by this, is that I would read it for ten minutes each day while I waited for the bus. Shamefully, this meant that it took me three years to read. However, I should point out, that from about the second half onward, I had grown so attached to the novel and it’s characters that I found myself reading it outside of allotted bus stop times quite often, simply because I couldn’t help myself.

So what exactly is the story? Well, it’s difficult to say much without spoiling it. There are a lot of surprises and unexpected developments which would not have been quite so effective had I known they were coming. All I’ll say is this: the story follows a man named Jean Valjean and the lives of the people he meets. Jean Valjean is a criminal and let’s just say that he experiences some inner conflict about his way of life.

The story covers about twenty-years and in that time, Jean Valjean’s life changes a lot. Understandably, this means there’s a large cast of characters, including children who grow up to be adults within that time. The fact that the novel itself is so long really helps to emphasise the passing of time and when it came to the end, it felt like the end of an era. I just sat, lost in my thoughts, for some time after I read the last page. In some ways, I wanted it never to end.

Having said that, one of the reasons that this book is so long, is that Hugo will often go off on tangents. Now, when I say “tangents” I don’t mean parts of the story that aren’t so relevant to the overall plot, but essays on moral philosophy, theology, history or whatever else he feels like talking about. Some of them are very interesting and often show that Victor Hugo was nice and progressive for his time. One of them even ends up tying the events back to his own, real life, which I found very meta.  But while some are very interesting, one, for example, is about the history of sewer systems. Yeah. They’re hit or miss.

Another of the novel’s flaws is its female characters. One of them, Éponine, is quite interesting and has a good story arc. Pretty much all of the rest of them, however, remain very underdeveloped. They may be important to Jean Valjean, but we never get to know what they’re like or what they’re thinking because the story is never really told from their perspective. It’s complicated in that, for its time, I think he was doing a good, progressive job, but there are still some attitudes which come across in the book and are rather uncomfortable by today’s standards.

But, despite it’s flaws, this was one of the best books I’ve read in a while. I love the perspective that it gives us of the world – one where the suffering of one child is of the same level of significance and importance as the wars waged on the global stage. It was full of interesting characters; Javert, Bishop Myriel and Gavroche to name but a few. Most of all though, it was Jean Valjean who had the biggest impact on me and he’s a character who I shall carry in my heart forevermore.

Rating: 9.7/10

Buy it here.

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Helplessness

Posted on April 23, 2018 by Adam Randall

Last week I was working a late shift at my office. Nobody I knew was around, so I had a sticky note open on my computer and I was using it to draw a smiley face using only grammatical characters. However, my pleasant drawing experience was soon brought to an end when I overheard a colleague at a nearby desk.

Now, I hate to make it seem like I was eaves dropping, because I was trying my hardest not to listen to the conversation that I heard, but I couldn’t drown it out. Basically, one colleague was talking about how her boyfriend regularly physically abuses her. She was talking about how he’s a raging alcoholic and saying that it’s not really his fault because he’s not in control. She went on to describe horrifying situations where both of their lives would have literally been in danger. I was shaking after hearing everything she said, it was that horrible.

But, while that alone was really awful, the responses of her work friends made it even worse. None of them seemed to take it seriously. Nobody expressed concern for her wellbeing. Nobody even really condemned her partner. They were even making jokes about it. The fact that none of them spoke out was honestly quite disturbing. This isn’t the first time where I’ve seen people behave in worryingly uncaring ways.

You may ask, “Why didn’t you speak up, Adam?” And the fact is, I wanted to.  I was waiting and hoping for one of her friends to say something, but none of them did. So, when the end of my shift came, I decided that it was time for me to make an approach. I reached into my pocket – I had some sweets there, as I always do. I’d go over and offer some. They’re the perfect ice breaker. Then I’d do my best to offer some support and try to help But then, as I got close, she answered the phone to a customer. Who knows how long the call could have gone on for? I had to go home. I sadly dropped the sweets back into my pocket and left, knowing I could do nothing.

The feeling of helplessness to help someone in need was very sad.

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Beginnings and Endings

Posted on April 21, 2018 by Adam Randall

At the start of October 2017, it was my first day of a new job. I had just started at a call centre. It wasn’t a job I had applied for, it was one which a recruitment agency had contacted me about. It was the lowest paying job that I had ever had and it was quite monotonous. I was feeling quite sad that I would no longer be able to enjoy the life of a freelance writer as I had been doing earlier that year. I found the work monotonous and I didn’t imagine that I would make any friends there. I remember coming in one Saturday morning and thinking to myself “Once I leave, there’ll be no part of me that misses this awful place.”

Just yesterday I had my last day. I was working until 9:30pm and for the last hour and a half, I was essentially by myself. I looked back at the last few months. I had actually made a fair few friends there and as the day passed by, I felt sad that I’d not get to spend a day with them in there again. I had become quite sentimental about many aspects of it, actually. What had once felt monotonous now felt comfortable. I’d formed bonds with quite a lot of people (most of them gone by now) and some of them I am likely to remain in touch with for a long time. As I left, I thought to myself “I sure will miss this lovely place.”

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Mario vs. Donkey Kong: Minis March Again!

Posted on April 18, 2018 by Adam Randall

The Nintendo DSi was a little bit disappointing for me. I thought it was going to be the next big console in the DS family, but then it ended up getting almost no games – or at least, almost no games which were physically released. There were a fair few downloadable ones, but most of these were quite obscure and forgettable. Mario vs. Donkey Kong: Minis March Again! is one of the more interesting games from the DSi eshop.

This is the third Mario vs. Donkey Kong game and you may notice that it has a very similar title to Mario vs. Donkey Kong 2: March of the Minis and this isn’t a coincidence. While this is a standalone game, it is essentially an expansion to its prequel, so don’t go into it expecting anything particularly mind-blowing or innovative.

Having said that, I don’t want to imply that this game is a boring retread. The previous installment introduced us to the satisfying gameplay of guiding Mini-Marios through hazardous courses so that they could reach their exits unharmed. This game changes things so that instead of doings things to guide the Mini-Marios (like making them stop or making them jump) you’re manipulating the environment around them to keep them safe. It adds an interesting new dynamic to things which, for me, kept it fresh. You actually have no control over the Minis, other than tapping them to get them to start moving and in later levels, they start walking the moment you start the level. Once again, it feels great to get them all safely to the exit door.

It’s a small and simple game, but I enjoy it and since it’s not particularly expensive, I think it’s worth a try – especially if you enjoyed the previous game. The biggest downsides are the fact that the boss battles against Donkey Kong are all recycled almost exactly and the soundtrack is near identical too. On the other hand, the animation and overall presentation has been polished and so is slightly better than the last game. I also really, really liked the characterisation of Donkey Kong and Pauline – the ending made me laugh quite a lot.

So if you’re a fan of Mario, or a fan of Donkey Kong or are just someone looking for a nice, cheap puzzle game, then why not give this a try? I think it’s pretty good, all things considered.

Rating: 8.5/10

(Don’t miss today’s Finger Puppet Show!)

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Crushes and Squishes

Posted on April 17, 2018 by Adam Randall

I’ve recently been reading a book about asexuality and through it I’ve been introduced to a fairly interesting concept – the “squish.” And what is it? Well, I think it’s best to explain by comparing it against another concept that you’ll (almost certainly) already be familiar with – that of the “crush.”

So, when you have a crush on somebody, you really want to develop a sexual or romantic relationship with them. If you have a squish on somebody, meanwhile, it means that you are very interested having them be a part of your life, but as a best friend.

I’m sure we all know the feeling. When you meet someone new and they seem very cool or charismatic, it’s normal to hope that you’ll be able to become friends and do more with them. It’s nice that someone has come up with a word to describe sensation. There are so many concepts that don’t have specific words assigned to them and I always like to see the language expanded.

It may have come out of the asexual community, but I’m pretty sure that it’s something pretty much anyone can understand. So I just wanted to share that in the hopes of maybe expanding your vocabularies… Although one small downside of the word for me is that it reminds me of the sound of stepping on food, but,  c’est la vie.

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The Many Mes

Posted on April 13, 2018 by Adam Randall

Today I was catching up on the blog of a good friend of mine. It’s all about her experiences teaching English as a foreign language in China. I’ve mentioned it before. Anyway, in one of the blog posts, she mentions that her friends would probably find it strange to see her as a teacher and her colleagues would probably find it strange to see her enjoying her hobbies with her friends. She then concluded by saying that it did not matter, as they were both still aspects of the real her.

It made me think about the many different groups of friends that I have and the many different contexts I interact with people in. I think some people might be quite surprised to know about some of the experiences I’ve had. These four blog posts all document experiences which were very different from each other. Because of the different feelings that the different parts of my life evoke, it can often be hard to believe that they’re all part of the same continuous chain of events.

Having said that, while people may be surprised by some of the situations I’ve been in, I don’t think people would ever really be surprised by the things that I do or say (other than that time I threw my shoe at someone in anger, which surprised even me.) I think it’s generally because I tend to behave pretty consistently in all situations. Some people do, some people don’t – neither approach is better than the other. Although what I will say is that sometimes new experiences remind me of old ones because I respond to them in the same ways and then it can make things feel a little bittersweet.

It is a bit of a shame when I do something new with a new friend and it reminds me of something I did in the past with an old friend, because it makes me miss the old friend. However, it’s not all bad, because this also means I don’t forget old friends, since all the memories remain close to the surface.

So while there are many mes, they’re all pretty much exactly the same. The only thing which really differentiates them, is the contexts in which they live.

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Batman: Arkham Asylum by Grant Morrison

Posted on April 11, 2018 by Adam Randall

Imagine you’ve been reading a few Batman comics late into the night and then when you go to sleep, you have a nightmare. Since the last thing you read was a Batman story, elements of the comics start bleeding into your dream. When you wake up with your heart pounding, you find that, somehow or another, your dream has all been recorded in graphic novel form – that graphic novel you find upon your awakening is Arkham Asylum.

The story goes that The Joker and the other inmates have taken over Arkham Asylum and have taken the staff hostage. They demand that Batman come and see them, so, of course, he does.

What ensues, is chaos. It’s not so much a story, as an exploration of the psyche of Batman, The Joker, Two Face and several other characters. We also get glimpses of the life of Amadeus Arkham, the founder of the asylum. A lot of it is very grim, to a much greater degree than anything I’ve seen from a Batman comic in the past. It’s rather disturbing.

What really helps to reinforce the dream-like feeling that this graphic novel evokes is the artwork by David McKean. It’s really hard to describe something so visual in words, but it looks very good indeed. It’s often very creepy and it creates a perfect atmosphere for the mental institution. One moment things look very, very realistic and they next they look surreal and bizarre – the contrast is very effective. I do have one small criticism though and that’s that there’s often red text against black (or otherwise very dark) backdrops and I found it quite difficult to read, especially as it was an unusual font.

This is one of my favourite Batman graphic novels and one which I think most people would enjoy. Not only do I really enjoy Batman’s characterisation in it, but it’s also the most frightening interpretation of The Joker that I’ve seen. Plus, the art is so good, that it’s just nice to look at, without the context of the story. I strongly recommend it.

Rating: 9/10

Buy it here.

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Music Suggestions 6

Posted on April 10, 2018 by Adam Randall

It’s always nice to find new pieces of music to listen to and enjoy. That’s why I’ve made not one, not two, not three or four, but five different blog posts in the past where I recommend music that I like. It is a little sad, looking back, to see how many of those videos are no longer available, however. Anyway, here are a few more songs for you to try:

 

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The Food of the Soul

Posted on April 7, 2018 by Adam Randall

I have a few friends who I have not seen for extended periods of time, which is sad. However, what’s also sad is the fact that they tend to feel very bad about it and even worry about me holding it against them or something like that. So I thought I would write a blog post with a nice metaphor to explain it. Are you ready? The metaphor is pretty tight.

Imagine you love Nando’s (or porridge, or pizza, or cheese or any delicious food) and, for whatever reason, you end up going a year without eating that food. In that time do you stop liking that food? Absolutely not! In fact, next time you eat it, it will probably taste even better than you remembered it tasting, since you haven’t had that sweet taste in so long. Every person has a unique sense of taste and certain foods taste certain ways to certain people. That won’t change much in their life. Do you see where I’m going with that?

Well, think of the positive energy generated when spending time with friends as the food for the soul. Yes, you may feel sad if you can’t have your favourite food food for a long time, but all that means is that you’ll be even happier when you can finally eat that sweet, sweet soul food once again. Plus, maybe not having it for a while encourages you to try new foods and to have more of a varied. A nice positive.

I think that does a good job of summarising my feelings towards friends who drift away over time.

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