Recently, I’ve had a fair few people describe me as being quite confident. Others have also said that they think that I am self-assured to a healthy extent and that I seem quite secure. I’m always very happy when people say nice things like this, but I also find it very interesting. I’m not saying that I lack confidence or that I am insecure, but I do think that I come across as more confident and assured than I am.

For example, I know that a lot of people worry when somebody doesn’t reply to their messages. This is something that doesn’t bother me – but only because I make a conscious effort to stop it from affecting me. Maybe someone won’t reply to a few messages and I’ll momentarily think “Perhaps they’re not interested in responding to me” but then I instantly identify this as an irrational thought and identify that there is a very large number of reasons that somebody wouldn’t reply, which have nothing to do with their opinion of me or their interest in engaging with me. To assume that it’s to do with me is both pessimistic and very ego-centric. As soon as I identify the irrational thought, I can dismiss it quite easily.

Similarly, if I am meeting up with a large group, I might find it a little difficult to to join into a conversation for a bit and so sit quietly for a while, simply enjoying my friends’ company, rather than actively engaging with them. In these cases, occasionally a negative thought might pop into my head “My friends are probably disappointed that I’m not speaking much and thinking that I’m not worth spending time with” again, this is also entirely irrational and I can instantly dismiss it due to the fact that the same thought would never enter my mind if the situation were reversed.

These kind of thoughts aren’t things which occur to me very often, but when they do my process for dealing with them helps to stop them from ever getting to me too much. Being able to identify when your concerns are irrational is a very useful skill to develop as it means that you’ll be able to reassure yourself when it comes to most things quite easily. I’m particularly pleased that I was able to cultivate this ability, because in the past I was quite an anxious person at times and these days I wouldn’t say that I am an anxious person at all.

Obviously, I am very lucky in that anxiety is not something which affects me to a serious extent and I know that it will be a lot worse for other people. Knowing how people can start to feel anxiety over such little things, I like to offer positive comments to friends when I interact with them, so that there’s no risk of anxiety caused as a result of an interaction with me. Positive reinforcement can go a long way. I also thought it was worth sharing all of this because I know a lot of people do become anxious about little things and I thought this method may be helpful. Logic and rationality are always very useful, I find.

(Don’t miss today’s Finger Puppet Show!)

Back in the past, I only really enjoyed meeting with people in a one on one context. I didn’t like to meet in large groups of people because I felt that I often didn’t get a proper chance to speak to anyone and I also felt like I was talking over others. I was never truly relaxed in a group; group events would make me feel anxious.

As I grew older and mellowed, I realised that I had no reason to dislike group events. They were a chance to meet up with lots of friends at once which was often very fun and exciting. Seeing so many friends in one go creates a level of excitement which is quite unique. My annual Christmas meals are large group events and they’re some of my favourite things to do.

On the other hand, interactions with groups seem to lack the depth that you’ll find when interacting with people one on one. You can focus all of your attention on one person and have nice long conversations. In a group, I personally feel I’m being spread a little thin – the more people there are, the less the value of each interaction.

It’s a difficult balance to get right, but I think I probably like both equally these days. People act different in small, subtle ways when they’re in a group and you find out more about some people by seeing them interact with you and other people in these different contexts. I think it’s quite important, socially, to interact with people in both one on ones and in groups. They’re different experiences which are both quite valuable and, by doing both, it helps you to appreciate each thing more.

Or, at least, that’s what I think. Everyone’s different, after all and if you find that this doesn’t apply to you then so be it! I would not mean to suggest that my perspective is an objective standard.

I like looking at fanart and other works by independent artists online. It’s something which makes me quite jealous, because I struggle to get my own artistic skills up to that level. I know it’s just a matter of dedicating more time to it, but there’s only so much time in the day.

Being able to draw nice pictures, especially of people and fictional characters, is an incredible skill. I know, it’s unhealthy to compare your own abilities to those of others, but it’s impossible to avoid doing entirely. My favourite kinds of images to look at are those of characters and of people.

In order to try and improve my skills, I’ve actually opened a DeviantArt account. I’d appreciate it if you take a look. Kind strangers often “favourite” my pieces or leave me very encouraging comments. What I like to do, is to draw characters in a set, rather minimalist way. It means that I can make things look alright, even without much skill. Over time, I feel like my abilities have started to improve by doing this and I shall continue.

I was somewhat inspired by Pop Figures, which, for those who don’t know, are small plastic toys of various fictional characters and famous people which are all done in the same, simple style. I wanted to do something similar with drawings. What I do is a draw all the characters who have appeared in my works of fiction, which sometimes includes well known characters since I sometimes do fan fiction. Looking over them then makes me feel happy about the amount of writing and drawing I’ve produced.

Ideally, I’d like to be able to do detailed character drawings, along with great backgrounds, but I guess I need to take it one step at a time. There’s one DeviantArt user who draws different incarnations of The Doctor and has even invented a few of his own. He also draws other characters from popular culture. His style is so good (so check him out) and if I am ever able to produce things to the same quality as him, I shall consider the visual art world conquered – though I realise I’m a million miles away from it.

We all work and improve at our own pace and looking at what others have achieved can be a good form of motivation.

(Don’t miss today’s Finger Puppet Show!)