Fizzy Drinks

Posted on August 15, 2014 by Adam Randall
I don’t really drink much beside my favourite drink, water. I always have my Trusty Water Bottle with me and, throughout the day, I am always drinking a little bit, so I never really get thirsty. Having said that, occasionally I’ll find myself craving a fizzy drink. The problem is, I don’t like fizzy drinks. I can just about stomach Diet Coke, Dandelion and Burdock and Appletiser, but most of the others make me feel sick pretty quickly. Yet I still want them from time to time.
    Maybe one day I’ll be thinking to myself “A Dr. Pepper would be nice tonight” and I’ll look fondly on the days when I liked Dr. Pepper and think that it could be like that again. Of course, on these rare times that I get these cravings I don’t like it once I get it, but I get one every time all the same (silly old me). I’ll enjoy the first sip, of course, and probably even the seventh sip too, but I can never manage a whole bottle. It’s usually about 1/3 of the 500ml bottle, at most, that I manage.
    Last time a thought occurred to me: how come they barely have any drinks in cans these days? I can usually manage a can (not always) but then, nearly every drink seems only to come in a huge bottle. I have to wonder why this is. Have people always wanted more than a mere can and moved towards the bigger bottles? Or have companies moved towards the bottles and phased out the cans in order to earn more money? I mean, the fact that I buy them just proves that it will work. I miss cans.

(Don’t miss today’s Finger Puppet Show!)

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Writers’ Guilt

Posted on August 13, 2014 by Adam Randall
Recently, the author of Irregular Webcomic wrote a very interesting blog post about including politics within his work. He explained that he made a conscious effort not to include anything of that kind because he wanted his work to have a universal appeal and, also, because he didn’t want his work to become ‘preachy’. He explained that he often felt extremely guilty about it because he felt he should be ‘fighting to change the world’ or something along those lines. Despite the fact that I like to make my political beliefs clear in my work, it’s a feeling I completely relate to. While I do promote my views, I often wonder whether or not I’m doing enough. Perhaps every writer feels that way, no matter how much or how little they do for their cause?
    In the end, I don’t think that it’s something writers should worry about. You can have a masterpiece which really pushes societal expectations, or you can have one which does nothing to comment on politics. Though, having said that, when we look to the past we find that it is the progressive pieces, the one which challenged their societies, which are the ones which have remained popular. But I’m not sure whether this is because the author is being very progressive, or because the novel is doing something new (“A woman doing X? What an interesting story idea!” for example). Perhaps a progressive attitude is more likely to produce original artworks? I’m not sure. But, either way, I don’t think writing needs to have something to say about our world in order to be of value.

(Don’t miss today’s Finger Puppet Show!)

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Dreamy Bus Ride

Posted on August 11, 2014 by Adam Randall
It was December 2011. I was rather tired and, as I so often am in these anecdotes, I was riding on a bus. I think it must have been one of those days when I had to get up at 6 a.m. because I wasn’t normally so tired. Now, of course, buses are so incredibly comfortable and relaxing, so, riding on one while sleepy is very likely to make you doze off.
    I kept switching between dreaming and waking, and dreams seemed to be merging with reality. There were lots of posters up on the walls and I kept thinking that the words were flying off the paper towards me, then I’d blink myself back into real life and I’d realise that, of course, those letters weren’t actually flying around. That wasn’t the only thing I dreamt though. I was also sure that I was riding the bus along with David Tubb and, indeed, in the dream I was quite deep into a conversation with him. I think I was talking to him about how I kept thinking the words were coming off the wall.
    Then I blinked myself back again. I looked to my right, wanting to say something else to David, but instead there was just an old woman and she didn’t look especially amused. Oh. How sad. And I was very sad, because the dream had seemed very real. Imagine if you were out having a nice time with one of your best friends and then all of a sudden they vanished into thin air! It wouldn’t be very nice. Like you’re having a lovely warm shower on a cold winter’s day and then the water suddenly stops. So then I had to enjoy the rest of my bus ride alone, which is an awfully silly thing to say, since I actually enjoyed the entirety of the trip alone. I wonder if I was sleep-talking to the woman next to me?
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Kid Icarus

Posted on August 8, 2014 by Adam Randall

PictureUntil recently, this had been one of Nintendo’s more overlooked games. I think the reason that this game became slightly obscure is the fact that, in a way, it is rather weird. The gameplay is a little like a mixture between The Legend of Zelda and Metroid and features many scrolling 2D platforming levels, except, instead of scrolling left or right, you always have to go upward (which can be incredibly annoying, because you can never go down, to go lower than the screen, even if there is land there, will kill you), so it’s certainly very unique.

Story-wise, while it’s all very clearly based on Greek mythology, it pretty much does its own thing. You play as a young angel named Pit who is trapped in the Underworld. As Pit, you need to escape the Underworld and then go on to save Angel Land from the rule of the evil Medusa. It’s the kind of basic story that you’d expect from a NES game.

What’s especially strange about this game is the difficulty. There are four worlds, and the first two are so much harder than the later two. As you progress through the game, you collect things which make Pit more powerful, the problem is, that without these things he’s really rather weak, making it disproportionately hard to begin with. Also, even when powered-up, Pit’s really slow. This can be pretty irritating when you have enemies which quickly move all around the screen and harm you on contact and especially bad when, at the start, Pit can’t take much damage before he dies and you have to start all over again. There are also enemies which, with no warning, will steal your power ups meaning that an encounter with them can be worse than anything else.

On the whole, it’s worth a try as it’s an interesting part of Nintendo’s past. It can be quite fun, especially if you have a version with save states and it’s nice to get to know Pit since his revival in 2012. The graphics may not be fantastic (I hate black skies), but they’re not bad for their time. There’s an interesting selection of unique enemies (even if some of them are infuriating) and one of them even provides a lovely little connection to Metroid.

Rating: 7.9/10

Buy it here.

(Don’t miss today’s Finger Puppet Show!)

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Trousers

Posted on August 6, 2014 by Adam Randall
I recently had my friend Tülin stay at my house overnight, and that was awfully nice because I’ve never done that before. We had a lovely day, including eating delicious pizzas, having a couple of walks and a video call with my other friend Rhino Water. But of course, the time eventually came for the fun to end and for us to go to bed.
    Sadly, there was something which I’d overlooked. A lot of people tell me that they struggle to sleep lately, because it’s far too hot in their bedrooms, but I’m very lucky not to have that problem in my room. It was a problem, however, with the additional body heat generated by their being an extra person sleeping in the room and I really did struggle to sleep that night. My friend, however, seemed to have been slightly luckier.
    I’d been lying awake, trying to sleep, when the silence was unexpectedly broken by Tülin.
    “That must be a pain,” she said.
    It was rather muffled though, and I didn’t entirely hear what she said.
    “Did you just say that you were in pain?” I asked, quite concerned. I moved closer to her so that I would definitely hear what she said next.
    “No, I just said it must be a pain, about the trousers, I mean,” she elaborated.
    “What trousers? I’m afraid I’m quite confused,” I said.
    “Weren’t we just having a conversation about how you find it hard to find trousers that fit, because you’re so tall?”
    “Well, we did have a conversation along those lines about two years ago, but certainly not within the last few minutes.”
    “Oh, well, I guess I dreamt the first half of the conversation,” she said.
    “That makes sense,” I said.
    “Sorry, goodnight!” and she went back to sleep. Hopefully my dream-counterpart found a more interesting conversation topic than the difficulty of finding trousers after that.

(Don’t miss today’s Finger Puppet Show!)

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Premonition

Posted on August 4, 2014 by Adam Randall

I recently had a dream that one of my internet friends came to visit me in Corsham. We were having a lovely time in Lovely Land, but then I realised something was amiss. My friend was feeling a bit down about something, and I asked them what was the matter. They became very upset and told me that they’d become pregnant after regretfully getting a little carried away one night and engaging in unprotected sex. I felt very sorry for them, because they were absolutely distraught and did not know what to do, so I gave them some comforting words which made them feel a bit happier and realise that it wasn’t so bad after all.

The dream came to an end shortly after, and I woke up. I thought it was a bit of an odd dream and I wrote it down in my dream journal with as much detail as I could remember. I didn’t pay too much mind to it, and then went on with my day as usual. The following day, I was on Facebook and I realised one of my internet friends was online. I hadn’t spoken to them in some time so I was keen to catch up with them. Now, this wasn’t the same friend from my dream, but when speaking to them, it just so happens that they had become pregnant and were a little worried about it too! I mentioned how curious it was that, just the other day I’d dreamt that an internet friend had become pregnant.

“You dreamt an internet friend became pregnant? Well, here I am!” she wrote.

I thought that was an interesting little coincidence, though I don’t believe it was any kind of premonition, despite what the title may imply. I simply thought that ‘Premonition’ would be an interesting title to an anecdote. Sorry.

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All My Friends Saved the World

Posted on August 1, 2014 by Adam Randall

In a dream I had the other day, I was in a classroom at Regis School (no idea why) along with all my friends. It was lovely; they were all chatting amongst themselves and having a nice time. Even the ones who don’t know each other and the ones who don’t like each other. There was David Tubb, Oscar Taylor-Kent, Chris Hunter, Dalfino Madrigal Keyte. Then there were the ones I’m not allowed to write the real names of Tülin and Rhino Water. And of course, all the people I can name but I have nothing to link to like Rory MacLellan, Elliott Egan, Naomi Brennan, Chloe Ward, Rachel Boland, Sophie Marie Mills, Mairi Mac Arthur, George Moore, Davey Hamlen, Sarah Kryworuczka, Laura Young, Mike Wing, some of the children who I met as an MDSA at Regis School and several others. I shan’t list all of them though, because then I’d spend far too long listing people if I did and I’ve probably already spent too long listing them.

Anyway, while that all sounds like it would be fantastic for me, there was a downside and that downside was a rather significant one. Unfortunately, it was going to be the end of the world in a very short while because a giant aeroplane was going to crash and the resultant explosion would be so big it would wipe out all life on the planet. Which was rather a shame.

For whatever reason, I knew a lot more about the situation than anybody else, though some people were a little concerned.

“Aren’t you worried about that plane?” asked Sophie.

“Oh no, we have no reason to believe that the situation isn’t being handled perfectly by those in power,” I said, and that seemed to reassure everyone who was worried. But I felt extremely guilty, because I knew that that was a lie and that it was very unlikely that anything could be done. In fact, I still feel guilty now because perhaps that means I’d be equally dishonest if that situation were to happen in reality.

Anyway, my friends began to enjoy themselves and socialise, but the guilt began to overwhelm me, so I went outside. It was dark out, but after a few minutes I noticed there was somebody running towards me. As he got closer, I realised that it was Colin Edwards, a lecturer at Bath Spa University.

“This is a rather unhappy situation, isn’t it?” I said to him.

“Yes, but I figured out a plan!” he said, breathlessly. “If you switch off all the lights and remain perfectly silent while I drive off as fast as I can, it should stop the plane from crashing!”

Now, I realise there doesn’t seem to be any logic behind this plan, but at the time it seemed to make perfect sense and as you’ll soon see, it did work, so who are we to argue?

Colin rushed to his car and I rushed inside to tell everyone the plan.

We switched off all of the lights and remained perfectly quiet. We heard the sound of the plane almost, but not quite, crashing outside. Once we knew the disaster was over, we all celebrated and I had a wonderful time in the world of dreams with all of my friends.

Their combined effort saved the whole world, and while nothing like this ever happened in reality, I like to imagine that the dream was a reflection of my deep respect and admiration for each and every one of them. I also thought that it was just really, really nice to have a dream with all of my friends together. The last ten minutes (very rough estimation, it being a dream) were absolute heaven.

(Don’t miss today’s Finger Puppet Show!)

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Mess

Posted on July 30, 2014 by Adam Randall

About eleven months ago, my friend Rhino Water (not his real name, obviously) came to visit Bath for a while. Usually he lives very far away, in Ipswich, and so visiting him isn’t something I can do very easily, so of course I made the most of his time at Bath and visited him as often as possible. We had all kinds of fun, and even managed to get a draw in Mario Party.

On, I think, the second day that I visited him, he lead me up to his room. As I stepped in, it was very evident to me that he hadn’t been here long and that he’d also not be staying for any huge period of time, because there was barely anything in there. The walls were bare, there wasn’t a thing on the ground, it all felt very empty. Indeed, if a stranger were to look at a photograph of it, the only sign that this room was actually occupied by somebody and not a part of an unsold house, was his tiny bag which was on the bed. It was a small little thing designed for carrying a Nintendo DS and few games. A tiny speck of life in an otherwise barren bedroom.

Then he said something to me. Something amazing.

“Sorry about the mess.”

(Don’t miss today’s Finger Puppet Show!)

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Diplomacy

Posted on July 28, 2014 by Adam Randall
For a short time, I was an MDSA once again but that job has now come to an end. I was only there for about a month, which is a shame because I’d have liked to stay longer. Each day, the main thing I did was solve the various problems that students came to me with and I enjoyed this quite a lot.
One day I was walking around the playground when I spotted that one of the children was sat on the floor crying. I thought I had better investigate.
“What’s the matter?” I asked him.
“My drink’s spilled all over me,” he replied.
“Oh dear, what a shame,” I said. “But don’t worry too much, I can just pop inside and get you some squash.”
“I’m sad because I was just drinking and then somebody came and pushed my hand so it went all over me,” he elaborated.
“I’d better have a word with him, then,” I said and he lead me to the culprit.
“Excuse me, I’ve been told you spilled this poor boy’s drink all over him. He’s awfully upset about it,” I said.
He didn’t hear me, or he chose to ignore me, either way, another MDSA nearby who saw what happened was very unhappy with this.
“Mr. Randall is talking to you!” she shouted. “Do him the courtesy of listening!”
“So what’s this about you splashing his drink all over him?” I asked, now that I had his attention
“Yeah I did, but it wasn’t like that!” he said, angrily. “I was just-“
“There’s nothing else to it,” said the other MDSA, “you have to say sorry.”
“Sorry!” he shouted, very angry.
“A sincere apology would be nicer,”‘ I said.
But, sadly, he was too angry to apologise nicely and he stormed off somewhere instead, arguing with the other MDSA as he did so.
The boy who’d had his drink spilled seemed to be feeling a bit happier and so I walked off to continue patrolling the area.
About fifteen minutes later, I once again bumped into the boy who had spilled the drink onto the other. He didn’t really seem to be angry anymore.
“I shouldn’t have been in trouble,” he said.
“Well, he was very upset and you can’t just go around upsetting people,” I told him.
“But he looked miserable!” he said, starting to become angry again. “I thought he could do with some cheering up so I splashed the drink on him as a joke to cheer him up, but he didn’t appreciate it at all! It’s not fair.”
“What you need to remember is that, while an action may be grounded in good intentions, it doesn’t mean that it can’t have negative consequences. In those cases we have to take responsibility for our actions and apologise.”
“I didn’t understand a word you just said,” he replied.
So, I explained it again, this time using simpler words, and he understood. He didn’t seem to be angry about it at all anymore and I was very pleased that I successfully introduced him to this different perspective. I hope that he’ll remember that for a while because that could potentially save upset for both him and others.
That’s the reason I loved this job so much. I always enjoyed using a diplomatic approach to get children who hated each other one moment, to be playing peacefully the next. It was very rewarding. But, of course, while I miss the opportunity to do things like this, I miss the people most of all. I wasn’t there very long, but I’ll miss all the other MDSAs and, most of all I’ll miss the children. The young writer I’d offer advice to, the girl who always called me her ‘best friend’, the boy who’d take me on tours of his imaginary farm, and all the others too. I hope the future is bright for all of them.
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Dreamcatcher by Stephen King

Posted on July 25, 2014 by Adam Randall

PictureIn 1999 Stephen King was in a horrible accident which left him with a long and difficult recuperation period. Dreamcatcher is the first novel he wrote after this accident and while it may be a story about aliens and psychic abilities, it is very much linked to his accident as well. Keeping this in mind as you read gives the book an interesting, if sad, extra layer.

The main story follows a group of four long-time friends (Jonsey, Henry, Pete and Beaver) as they take a trip to ‘The Hole in the Wall’ which is an old cabin where they’d stayed several times throughout their lives. These aren’t just any four people though, it just so happens that each one of them is at least a little bit psychic. That’s not all, either. The trip doesn’t go quite as planned when a nice man named McCarthy arrives at their cabin and explains that he’s been lost in the woods for ages. He’s clearly also quite ill. From then on everything seems to just get worse and worse for our protagonists.

At the start of the story, there’s a really strong feeling of uneasiness and mystery. You know something bad is going to happen, you just don’t know what. You’ll find yourself getting increasingly paranoid about things and worrying very much for all of the characters. Sadly, once the main ‘threat’ of the novel is revealed, and this happens fairly early on, everything becomes just a little bit less interesting.

Furthermore, perhaps in attempt to make things more frightening or atmospheric, this novel can be a little disgusting. There are several very gory moments and things like that, which I didn’t think were really needed. A lot of it seemed very over the top and maybe even a little childish. I read it thinking “I’m supposed to be really grossed out now” but instead it just fell flat entirely. I also found that there was rather a few too many references to popular culture and these reduced the enjoyment for me. I can understand why an author might choose to use them for effect, but this feels like we got fifty grams when only a pinch was required. There was also a mentally disabled character, who, while generally a positive addition to the story, seemed to me to be rather patronising. There’s no big problem with it, but lots of smaller things bothered me.

But while Dreamcatcher is certainly not without its faults, I wouldn’t like to give it a completely negative assessment. The characters all seem very real and I cared very much for them. It was also very evident that nobody was safe; at any moment any character could be killed and this made for some very good drama. Though, as dark as the book may get (and it gets disturbingly grim at times) it still had a fairly upbeat ending, and I liked that too.

It’s a nice read, but it is very long, so, perhaps this is one you should skip unless you’re a King fan.

Rating: 6.8/10

Buy it here.

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