Hire Me

In recent times, I’ve made a fair few job applications. My CV does, of course, make reference to the fact that I run this modest little blog, so I suppose it’s not impossible that some potential employers are snooping around here, trying to find out some more information about me. (If you are an employer who’s doing that: well done, 10/10 recruitment research skills there.)

And I guess you’re mostly looking for some kind of indicator that I would be a suitable candidate. Looking around this blog, you’ll soon find that the posts are a mixture of funny things, sentimental things, book reviews and video game reviews. What does that tell you? Why, it tells you that I am somebody with heart and a sense of humour! And the reviews tell you that I have refined appreciation for our culture. Exactly the kind of person you want around the office.

Plus, there’s a good chance that I applied for a content-based position and through reading these blog posts you’ll quickly discover that I am a top rate writer. I mean, everything I say comes out sounding like it sounds good, right, yeah. (Ha – hilarious self-deprecation there.) But, I mean, I have also applied for some non-content roles and you may be thinking “this guy’s good, but he’d probably be happier as a writer” and if that is the case – please change your mind! I only apply for jobs I want to have – I’m not being forced to apply for any random jobs by a “work coach” at the Job Centre. Being told I’d be happier as a writer is such an annoying reason to be turned down for a job.

On the other hand, you might be thinking “What an enormously unorthodox and unprofessional thing to do, I cannot possibly hire this person” but if that’s your attitude, do reconsider. My CV and cover letter are both very professional and this blog is just a passion project where I write whatever I like – nobody is professional 100% of the time. Also, check out this blog post, because one past employed read this before my interview and loved it! I got that job, so, you know… I’ll just leave that link there so it can work its magic again. Pretty funny right? With a tinge of deep emotion. Superb! Sublime! (The second word isn’t really a part of my day to day vocabulary, but I remember English Literature lecturers using it a lot to talk about good writing.)

Now I’ll just sit back and await your emails. No, it’s okay. You can all do it at once. Honestly, it will be quite an ego-boost if I open my inbox and find about ten emails inviting me to an interview. No, you’re not being a nuisance at all. Why, of course I’d be happy with a higher salary! And my own office? You’re too kind! Too kind! I’ll be seeing you very soon.

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Posted in Funny and Silly | Leave a comment

Radicalisation

Today I’d like to talk about an increasingly worrying issue: radicalisation. Part problem is that I don’t feel as though the issue is ever fairly or accurately reported on. For example, you’ll hear about a terrorist act done in the name of Islam, which will prompt people to say that there is a problem with that belief system.

The thing is though, any belief system can have radicalised members. You could have radicalised Christians doing the same thing. You have radicalised “Alt Right” people doing the same – or, to name two groups whose ideologies I agree with, you could have radicalised LGBT activists or radicalised feminists. If somebody believes in an ideal, you can conceivably persuade them to kill or harm others in the name of that ideal. In fact, if you look to history, you’ll find that people have killed in the name of pretty much everything. Following the argument that if members of a belief set can be radicalised, that belief set is harmful ultimately stops you from believing in anything… except maybe pacifism. I’m pretty sure nobody has ever killed someone in the name of pacifism, but you never know.

So, what actually does cause it? Honestly, it’s a very complex thing and will never be as simple as “certain belief systems are just evil” though I will admit, that some will be easier radicalised than others. If your belief system tells you that certain groups or certain people are lesser, or deserve lesser rights for whatever reason, then it’s probably going to be easier to convince you that actually, it’s also okay to harm those people.

I think that the biggest causes could be ignorance and lack of communication. Say Group A and Group B believe different things, but very rarely interact. They struggle to understand each other’s beliefs (even though neither is necessarily harmful) and so criticise the other group among members of their own group. Eventually, something happens which puts Group A at an advantage over Group B (perhaps they even acted inconsiderately) – now the B people who have never really known A people will get even angrier. Maybe then an A person (again, who has never known a B person that well) notices that B people are a bit more hostile or uneasy around A people – perhaps they’re in a position of power and make things harder for B people. The B people then conclude that A people do not value the wellbeing of B people. Listening to nobody but members of their own group, the B people then attack the A people in the name of redressing the balance. The A people hurt have nothing to do with the A people who made the selfish decisions, but they now have very negative attitudes about B people – maybe  retaliation is planned. Ultimately, lives on both sides are taken and those hurt are always the innocent ones who had nothing to do with the bad decisions.

I don’t want to say “they’re all as bad as each other” because I don’t think that’s fair and it oversimplifies far too much. Radicalisation comes from people forgetting the humanity of those they agree with. Even somebody who agrees in peace and love for all, could end up turning violent if they have been convinced that somebody embodies war and hatred for all. Everyone is the main character of their own stories and believes that their perspective is what’s best and most fair. Everyone thinks they’re fighting for what’s right and when they look to media and literature, the fight for what’s right normally involves violence.

I’ve probably guilty as just as much over simplification as anybody else, but I just wanted to demonstrate that demonising a specific group is both counter-productive and not true to reality.

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Posted in Philosophy | Leave a comment

Parachute

Parachute is one of the better known Game & Watches. It and Fire are the two games which serve as the biggest influences of the design of Mr. Game & Watch as we know him today. To be honest, the two of them are both quite similar games in general.

In this one, you play as a person in a rescue boat who moves back and forth between three different spots, in order to catch people (who are identical to Mr. Game & Watch) jumping out of a helicopter. There’s a constant stream of parachuters, so you’ve always got to be moving and you’ve always got to be ready. Where they fall determines the speed of their descent, so you’ll need to be strategic about your movements. And you know what happens if you aren’t ready to catch someone? If you let them fall into the water? Well, they get eaten alive by a shark. Dwell on that. They may look like generic silhouette people, but in their own world they’re sons and daughters, husbands and wives, brothers and sisters. If you don’t catch someone, you’re ruining lives. The stakes are high.

It kind of bothers me that one small life boat holds literally hundreds of people, but I suppose I shouldn’t be holding a Game & Watch to real life standards. As always, you’ve got a hard mode as well and you can also set an alarm. As Game & Watches go, this is one of the better ones. It’s easy to grasp and not too slow paced.

Rating: 7.2/10

Buy it here.

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My Most Rewarding Experience as a Writer

For as long as I can remember, I have always been creatively oriented. I have memories of making my own “picture books” by folding over pieces of paper together and making stories which were complete rip-offs of other picture books I’d read and loved. However, I feel like 2004 was the year I “became” a writer, because that was the year that I started going onto Microsoft Word, going to a blank document and then writing out stories. So that’s 14 years’ worth of writing experience that I have by now.

And in that time, what was the most rewarding experience? Well, it wasn’t any of the obvious choices. It wasn’t my first published article, it wasn’t my first published piece of fiction, it wasn’t graduating from my Creative Writing course at Bath Spa University, it wasn’t successfully completing NaNoWriMo and it wasn’t getting my first full time writing job. No, my most rewarding experience as a writer, was writing my 100th story in 2008.

The story was titled, get this, “100th Story” and, to be quite honest with you, it wasn’t that great. Basically, I tried to tie together all of the characters from my previous 99 stories into one big story revolving around the Earth being infested with evil aliens called Soulsuckers (they sucked out your soul! Kind of.)

At 16,000 words, it was the longest thing I had ever written at the time, but looking back now, I know that it could never really be published. It wasn’t just reaching this milestone that got me excited though – what made this such a rewarding experience, is that it was a communal one.

As I was writing it, a lot of my friends started to take an interest in it. I’d asked several of them to read my stories every now and then, so most of them were familiar with at least some of my characters. People kept asking me how the story was coming along and it felt really good to know that my work meant something to people other than me.

To repay my friends for their support, I incorporated many of them into the stories as characters. When doing this, I tried to capture the dynamics we shared back then and looking back now, it’s nice to read a fictionalised version of my relationships with my old friends Ben, Davey, George, Sarah and “a really strange looking kid.” In reality, relationships always evolve and it’s nice to have this sort of snapshot of how things were ten years ago.

One thread of the story involved a school trip, which inadvertently brought my friends into the heart of the alien invasion. I remember killing at least one of them off actually, which seems a bit weird in retrospect – but I also killed off ‘myself’ in it, so I guess that makes it less bad.

When I finally finished it, I printed out copies for all my friends who were interested and I remember getting positive feedback from all of them. Some even said that they had given it to their parents to read – and they’d loved it as well! Having an audience who loved my work felt fantastic and I couldn’t have been happier if it were distributed and sold to thousands, because that small and dedicated following was infinitely valuable to me. I hope one day I will be able to captivate people like that again – and that every writer will get to experience that feeling at least once.

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Posted in Anecdotes, Best Entries, Writing | 1 Comment

White Lion Parade

As you are likely to know, I do enjoy shining the Trusty Water Spotlight onto other creatives and artists that I know and today I’d like to tell you a little about a band called White Lion Parade, featuring a good friend of mine on the drums. Here’s a music video that they released recently:

It sounds good, doesn’t it? It’s the kind music that I don’t think you find that often these days. To be honest, I am terrible at analysing music critically, so that last sentence probably has no real value, but I will say this: it’s good. It’s the kind of music I’d like to hear on in the background while having a drink in a pub and which would then leave me with the impression that that pub had a good atmosphere and I’d later tell other people that it had a good atmosphere. Anyway, just listen to the song – it’s good to support independent artists!

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Posted in Shout Outs | Leave a comment

Assassination Classroom, Volume 6 by Yusei Matsui

Following Volume 5, the pace doesn’t slow down in the sixth volume of Assassination Classroom! We get a chance to look into the backstory of one of the characters, new characters are introduced, other characters return and it’s all topped off with Koro-sensei’s endless charm.

The main event in this volume is based around Class E planning to go swimming. They’ve noticed that Koro-sensei seems to be weakened when he gets wet, so the pool could create the perfect stage upon which to assassinate him. Let’s just say, that their swimming takes quite a dramatic turn.

A thought occurred to me during this volume. Koro-sensei is so nice and protective about Class E, that the idea of killing him must be very hard for them. I mentioned in my review of the previous volume, that the ‘evil’ side of his character seems to be getting toned down and this was especially true this time. I don’t think he once mentions that he’s going to destroy the Earth, but he does do several caring and heroic things. Not only is the thought of his death likely to be hard for the students, but it also started to become hard for me, the reader.

To two students, Kataoka and Terasaka both get to spend a little more time in the spotlight and receive a good amount of character development. I like both more following this volume and I appreciate that Yusei Matsui is taking the time to flesh out each and every student – originally, it was just a class full of generic teenagers, but slowly we’re getting to know them all.

Overall, I’m still having a great time with it and am eager for the next volume! One last thing: I’m always careful about spoilers, but I will just say that Itona turns up again in this volume, so look forward to that.

Rating: 9.8/10

Buy it here.

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LEAKED Super Smash Bros. Ultimate John-Boy Walton Reveal Trailer

(Thanks to a Waltons-insider that I know, I was able to get my hands on the script for John-Boy Walton’s as of yet unannounced reveal trailer for Super Smash Bros. Ultimate. I present it here in its unedited form. Please read, enjoy and await the release of this game with bated breath.)

[The camera pans over the trees and down towards the classic white house on Walton’s Mountain. What we’re seeing is identical to The Waltons Season 1 opening sequence, complete with the classic theme song – an attempt to misdirect the viewer into thinking that this is simply a trailer for The Waltons and not a Smash Bros. reveal.

We get the first clue that this is not simply the normal opening sequence when The Waltons logo appears in nice, crisp HD. It is also the white colouration used from Season 2 onward, rather than Season 1’s yellow.

The camera zooms into John-Boy’s bedroom window.  Instead of cutting to the usual clip of him writing, as is usually the case, we cut to him puzzling over a letter. Instead of footage, we are now seeing ultra-realistic graphics which actually portray John-Boy with greater clarity than was possible with 1970s camera.

We see a close up of the letter in his hands and notice that it is sealed with the Smash Bros. emblem. We see his eyes as he opens it and a glowing light is reflected in them. Slowly the classic theme song fades away.

Cut to a shot of the house from the outside.]

JOHN-BOY: YAA-HOO!

[Camera now shows John-Boy running excitedly down the run, away from his house. Pan to a confused looked Zebulon and Esther, who merely shrug and shake their head.

What we see now is gameplay footage.  John-Boy is still running, just as he was a second ago, but is now on the Battlefield stage. He seamlessly falls into a sliding kick and the camera zooms out to show that he is sliding towards Link, Bowser and Ridley – all of whom are launched off screen.

John-Boy then stops and the camera zooms in on him dramatically, capturing him in a heroic pose. The background goes completely brown and words appear on-screen.]

Caption: John-Boy Walton Says Goodnight!

A remix of The Waltons theme song begins to play, it is much more intense than any we have heard before. What follows is a montage of clips. Corrin is standing ready to attack, when John-Boy jumps onto him from off screen, pinning him to the ground. Mario runs towards John-Boy, but suddenly Blue the Mule appears and bucks wildly, launching him away. Wario and John-Boy stand side by side, Wario gets onto the Wario Bike and starts driving away, John-Boy immediately after gets into his beige car and starts driving in the same direction, only more quickly. In an act of reverse book-burning, Bowser breaths fire on John-Boy, who is unscathed and then reached into the flames and pulls out a German Bible, which he then throws at Bowser. After this last clip, the music comes to a finale and the Super Smash Bros. Ultimate logo appears on screen.

One last clip is played. John-Boy and Donkey Kong are standing side by side.]

JOHN-BOY: (shrugs) I reckon I seen better days on the mountain. (a taunt)

[Donkey Kong responds with his usual shrugging taunt.

Cut to Sakurai sitting in the studio. Smash Bros. music plays quietly in the background.]

SAKURAI: Hello. I’m Masahiro Sakurai of Sora Ltd. I am delighted to reveal to you all that John-Boy Walton of the classic television show The Waltons has finally been added to Smash. Ever since the days of Super Smash Bros. Melee he has been a highly requested character, so I hope that you will be pleased with his inclusion in Super Smash Bros. Ultimate.

I must make a confession to you all. He was the true winner of the Smash Ballot, but unfortunately, we were unable to implement him as a playable character due to licensing issues with Warner Bros. Studios. After a long process of negotiation, John-Boy has finally  earned the spot in this game that he always deserved.

Fans of The Waltons Season 8 and Season 9 may be concerned that the trailer only showed John-Boy as portrayed by the actor Richard Thomas, while many grew to love him during the brief stint in which he was portrayed by Robert Wightman. Please put your concerns to rest, as Robert Wightman’s portrayal will be included as an alternate outfit [cut to a character select screen where the player switches from Richard Thomas to Robert Wightman, then both of them are shown on screen together at once.]

One last little treat we have for you, is his Final Smash, which recreates the iconic “goodnight” scene from the end of each episode. All characters are transported to the Walton house and John-Boy says goodnight to them all. Back on the battle field, they are all fast asleep and vulnerable to John-Boy’s attacks.

As always, his family and friends are there to support him and John, Olivia, Esther, Zebulon and even all of his brothers and sisters appears as Assist Trophies [a quick clip of each character.] And there are even some surprise appearances [clip of John-Boy using Rover the Peacock as his recovery move.]

We are excited to be able to bring you this new update. Until next time, all I can say is “Goodnight, everybody!”

[Sakurai bows. Cut to black. Copyright notices.]

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Posted in Creative, Funny and Silly, The Waltons, Video Games | Leave a comment

Beyond Ghibli

A good friend of mine recently pointed me in the direction of an excellent YouTube channel called Beyond Ghibli. It’s a fairly young channel and is run by a friend of a friend, so I am keen to point people in its direction. What you’ll find here are some wonderful pieces of anime analysis.

Below is my favourite of their videos: it compares The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild to the film Princess Mononoke, a game and a film I like very much. I had never really considered their similarities before, but now that they’ve been pointed out, they seem so obvious. I really appreciate the amount of thought and reflection that went into the video and it as a very interesting video to watch. If you’ve an interest in either of those two things, you’re going to enjoy watching this. So give it a watch, subscribe to the channel and have a look at their other work.

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Posted in Shout Outs | Leave a comment

Miitomo

When I first heard that Nintendo were going to start making games for smartphones, I was pretty excited. I was so excited, in fact, that I went out and bought my first smartphone. I’m really glad I did because those things are revolutionary and I really should have gotten one sooner. So many aspects of day to day life have become so much easier since then. But, anyway, I’m going off on a bit of a tangent – the first app Nintendo released was Miitomo and it wasn’t actually much of a game after all,but rather a sort of Mii-based social media app, which is still an interesting concept.

I remember when I first started using it – I was pretty happy seeing my Mii (in HD) on my phone. It seemed so new and revolutionary, because I never expected to see Miis on anything but a Nintendo console. What I was also very pleased with was that I was able to import my Mii from my Nintendo Account, which itself was imported from my 3DS (which could have been imported from my Wii, but wasn’t) so people had the chance to continue using the same Miis they’d had all along. It does, of course, also contain a complete Mii Maker, so you could build a Mii from scratch or even have one automatically made based on a photo.

Once you’d either imported or created a Mii, you’ll find it entering an apartment. You’d then be asked questions about your day, your life, your interest or other things like that. You write your answer and your Mii then speaks it in a comical, robotic voice (which you choose for it.) It was very clearly built on the structure of Tomodachi Life, so that’s a good point of reference for anybody who’s played that.

The other thing you could do was listen to the answers your friends have given to these same questions and you’d get to see their Miis answering them yourself. Since all of my friends are hilarious, they usually wrote funny or sarcastic answers and I had a lot of fun going through them. You could also have your own Mii give answers to their replies. I wish more of my friends had the app, because it would have been so much more fun if they did – you are able to see the answers of strangers, but it’s just not the same.

Answering questions and listening to other peoples’ answers would earn you coins and tickets, which were then used to buy clothes for customisation. You could either get clothes by buying them in the game’s shop, or by playing an extremely chancy game where you have to drop Miis at just the right time to land on the right platforms. That game was so unfair, but it was the only way to get special items. It was definitely built to encourage micro-transactions.

Some of these clothes were pretty cool though. For example, there were outfits based on The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild, Splatoon, Fire Emblem Heroes and also Kirby and Super Mario characters. I was disappointed that there was never anything related to the Donkey Kong series, but I did enjoy collecting the Nintendo outfits. There was even a very cool cross-promotion where a Miitomo-themed Splatfest was held in Splatoon which gave me the cool feeling of all my Nintendo games being connected.

Overall, it was a really nice little app. You’ll notice I say “was” and have been referring to it in the past tense throughout the review and that’s because the service was entirely online and has now been discontinued. I hate when that happens. Such is the state of modern gaming – enjoy things while you can, you never know when they’ll disappear forever.

Rating: 7/10 (though it’s very hard to rate in the same way I rate other games)

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Posted in Video Games | Leave a comment

Picking Up Where You Left Off

In the past, some people have said that one of my best qualities was the fact that I can go a long time without seeing somebody, but then immediately pick up where I left off with them and it’s like we haven’t been separated at all when we do next meet. I like that people appreciate this about me, but I’d also argue that this is not a quality of my own, but just something people find easy to do once their friendship reaches a certain level. It’s not any effort to easily resume for me, because that’s what it feels natural to do and there are certain people for whom it would never feel unnatural to do this with.

It’s like watching a TV show you love but haven’t seen in years, resuming an old favourite video game or coming back to a familiar place. It’s always going to be very comfortable and I am exceedingly fortunate to have several people in my life with whom this is quite possible. I think you eventually reach a point where you couldn’t not care about somebody (if you’ll forgive the use of a double negative.) Once you’ve been through a certain amount with somebody, it’s impossible to turn back and no matter what you do, you won’t ever forget about them and meeting them will always be a delight.

Having been reunited with a good friend after a sad absence of one year today, I was feeling especially appreciative of this fact.

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Posted in Lovely Things | Leave a comment