Trolls

Back in 2009, I always had a great deal of fun in my Science classes. Not only did I share a class with my good friends Hayley, Sarah and Laura, but I also had a rather wonderful teacher named Mr. Curtis (who might be writing an entry for this blog at some point in the future).
    As well as being very friendly and entertaining, I also had a little joke going with him where I would say that he looked like a troll and make references to trolls. This may sound a little malicious (and, indeed, is not something I would do today) but it was all in good fun and he happily went along with it. It wasn’t just me, either, another person in the class, who I was quite fond of, also went along with these ‘troll’ jokes. One thing we’d do is, when asking a questions, we’d fit ‘troll’ into words that it naturally hid within such as con-TROLL or, words that it would less naturally fit within like ou-TROLL-put. Also, we’d regularly have to make Powerpoint presentations about various areas of science, and as well as sneaking in pictures of trolls, I remember one time making an animation to so how protons and electrons worked, using lots of pictures of different bald men to represent the different things (Mr. Curtis was bald).
    Again, this may sound like I was a troublesome student, but it was all done with the utmost fondness. One time we were tasked with writing a short story which had to explain how certain chemical reactions work. In it, I wrote about a scientist called Professor Ticrus (an obvious anagram of Curtis) who created a machine to make particles big enough for people to see and it went wrong and lots of people were killed. To this day, I like to make references to Professor Ticrus in my fiction writing every now and again. I was also very pleased when, two years after leaving his class, I bumped into him and he told me that he still kept a copy of that story at his house and read it every so often for a laugh.
    I remember quite a lot from that class, a lot of the experiments and tasks we did, and I think that he is a wonderful example of a good teacher. Not only do I remember his classes, but I cherish the memories and think of them as some of the extra happy times in life. I think that is exactly what a good teacher should achieve.

(Don’t miss my latest article for SmartDating UK.)

(I wrote an article on Donkey Kong Country for Rice Digital! Read it here.)

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Moral Dilemma

It’s a little sad, I think, that at a lot of bus stops, the idea of queuing and of ‘first come first serve’ is completely forgotten. I can’t help but feel a little disappointed when I’ve been waiting for a bus for over an hour, then somebody arrives at the stop five minutes before it’s there and then get on before me and sit in my favourite seat. Because of this, I have a personal rule to always let people on before me if I know they were there first.
    But just the other day, I found my morals challenged at the bus station. I came in, and right away the bus was in the bay, waiting for passengers and there quite a few of them waiting to get on. But when the bus doors opened, nobody got on. I looked at the bus driver, he did a “get on” gesture (which everybody else must have missed) and then I looked at the waiting commuters who almost seemed like they hadn’t noticed that the bus had arrived. What could I do? Do I get on right away and look like some rude impatient person? Do I continue this dangerous game of chicken? This was a double decker bus, so by getting on first I get the seat at the front at the top (the ‘golden’ seat you could call it). I looked at the driver again, he was confused, obviously wondering why nobody getting on. Was there some moral crisis in everybody’s head? Eventually I bit the bullet and got right on. As I sat in the best seat on the bus, I wondered if I’d done the right thing. I reasoned that, had I not done so, the bus driver might have left and nobody would have got on. But this is something I can never know. What a strange event.

(Don’t miss my latest article for SmartDating UK!)

(Don’t miss today’s Finger Puppet Show, either!)

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The Most Important Thing

Over the last few weeks I’ve been starting to arrange my plans for Christmas time. I know you may say that it’s a little early to be doing that, but as soon as it starts to get a little bit colder after summer, I get very excited about the idea that the most wonderful time of the year is just around the corner.
    But, anyway, essentially my plans will involve me having three (possibly four) other ‘Christmas’ days with friends, before the main actual Christmas day. One will be at a delightful restaurant named The Hungry Horse not too far away from my home, and will be had with all of my closest friends from Corsham (who I otherwise don’t get to see too often), one will be at the Nando’s in Bath (a place I have been to for many special occasions) and will be had with all the friends I made at Bath Spa University (and a couple of assorted others who don’t fit into either category) and finally I should hopefully get a chance to see my friends David Tubb and Naomi Brennan too. That’s pretty much every person who has had a significant impact on my life.
    So, I was just getting to bed the other day, when I started to think about how nice it would be if all of that went smoothly. If everyone actually turned out to be available for these events, and I had three days were I saw all of the people I wanted to just before the incredible Christmas Eve/Christmas Day/Boxing Day trilogy. That would probably be the best week of my life. I shouldn’t get my hopes up, of course, because doubtlessly at least one person will end up not making it and it won’t go perfectly, so I shouldn’t build it up so that I will be disappointed, but it will almost certainly still be very nice even if I end up only seeing a few people. It’s a nice reminder though, that the people you know are the most important things you can have in your life. I just couldn’t get to sleep with the excitement of thinking of it all.

(Don’t miss my latest SmartDating UK article.)

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Objective Reviewing

I was recently having a chat with a good friend of mine on the subject of being ‘objective’ in reviews. I realised that, as I write a lot of reviews here, I should probably make a post on my stance regarding reviews and my own personal ‘system’ for reviewing things.
    I don’t believe there is any way to objectively value a piece of art. I know some people may say “But what about pieces that do something completely new and then revolutionise their mediums?” but the thing is, when something like that comes along, later artists will adopt the revolutionary aspects and use them in their own work in ways which some people may enjoy much more. So while the piece the revolutionised the medium may be historically significant, you can’t say it’s better, indeed, taking the context into consideration like this is even rather subjective, to be truly objective you’d have to disregard everything but the art itself. The way I see it, every piece of art is loved by one person and hated by another, would either of them be wrong? I don’t think so.
    When I write a review, I always like to give whatever I’m reviewing a score out of ten, and I just want to be clear that the score is about how much I enjoyed it and not how close it is to some mythical idea of artistic perfection. My reviews are 100% subjective and I don’t want to try to be otherwise because I don’t believe it to be a worthwhile endeavour. Does that mean my reviews aren’t useful at all? Well, I hope not. I like to think that if I write about much much I like (or don’t like) something, there’s at least a reasonably sized chance that somebody else might feel the same way.

(Don’t miss my latest article for SmartDating UK on whether or not online dating is useful.)

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Donkey Kong (Game Boy)

PictureIf somebody bought this and started playing without any real foreknowledge, they may do the first one or two levels and think it was nothing more than an enhanced port of the original Donkey Kong, but that’s not the case at all. All four of the levels from the original have been nicely remade (with better graphics and control scheme) as the opening for the game, but after that there are nine whole worlds for Mario to make his way through in his hunt for Donkey Kong (who, once again, has kidnapped Pauline).

What I like quite a lot about this game is that it’s very unique. The nine worlds Mario goes through are all quite different to any of the worlds in other games; one level has you making your way through a big city, another has you chasing Donkey Kong around on the outside of an aeroplane mid-flight. Also, each level isn’t a case of getting from the start to the end, instead you are required to think a little more; Donkey Kong runs ahead with Pauline and goes through a door which he locks behind him and in each level you have to find a key and you win by bringing it to the locked door.

Another interesting thing about this game is the fact that this game has the same system for attacking enemies as Super Mario Bros. 2 which is quite different to the norm. Instead of just being able to jump onto enemies to defeat them, you either have to pick something up and throw it at them, or pick up another enemy and throw them at each other. This helps further give this game it’s own very unique feel, because while it does have elements from other games, it uses them in new ways and combinations.

I think this game serves as a grand finale for the old Mario/Donkey Kong conflict, there are nice references to the games that came before it and, frankly, this game stands a full head and shoulders above all the rest. It took me eight and a half hours to complete this game compared to the twenty minutes or so you can beat any of the others in, and I like that. It’s the only one of these games to have any real soundtrack too, and there is some very nice music indeed in some areas. I have a feeling that this game may have been made as a tribute to the early Donkey Kong games as it came out the same year as Donkey Kong Country which completely changed the direction of the series.

Overall, a wonderful little game which can feel very rewarding at times. Rating: 8.5/10

Buy it here.

(Don’t miss today’s Finger Puppet Show!)

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DK: King of Swing

PictureYou know, before I properly start this review, there’s one thing I want to say about this game; doesn’t it seem really weird that it’s called DK: King of Swing and not Donkey Kong: King of Swing? I can’t imagine why they just decided to initialise our hero’s name. Not to complain, of course, but I’ve always found that strange.

Anyway, after Rare left Nintendo it seems they were a little unsure about what exactly to do with the Donkey Kong series. There were several different new Donkey Kong games made by several different developers and all of them seemed to be trying to take the series in new, experimental directions. King of Swing is one of those more experimental titles.

The story line is pretty weak: The Kongs are getting ready for a jungle tournament, when King K. Rool comes along and steals all the medals (which they’ll be using as prizes) meaning that the whole event has to be cancelled. I know games like this are more focused on being fun than having an amazing story, but does that just seem a really pathetic evil plan?

Luckily, the game is nice and fun, so you can forgive the bad storyline. There are five worlds full of 2D levels to get through, but they aren’t just regular sidescrolling platformer stages. You need to climb upward through levels (using ‘pegs’ to grab hold of), avoiding enemies as you do so. This is nice because it’s quite unique and it means that some levels require quite a degree of skill, as the climbing can be quite difficult when you’re holding on to moving ‘pegs’. It’s all very enjoyable and it never gets too hard or frustrating. As with the original trilogy of Donkey Kong Country games, there are also a number of hidden items to find in each level, which adds to replayability. It’s just a shame there are only five worlds.

Outside of the ‘Adventure’ mode, there are also ‘Jungle Jam’ events you can play (‘Jungle Jam’ being the event K. Rool disrupted in the story mode). Here you can choose from climbing races, fights and games where you have to destroy barrels. These are quite fun, but nothing special. As a bonus, there are a selection of playable characters in this mode, including, Diddy, Dixie and Funky, with more to unlock as well, which is quite nice. This can be played in single or multiplayer, where, if you have a link cable, you can play the game against somebody else on their Game Boy Advance (and only using one copy of the game).

On the whole, it’s a nice attempt at experimentation and a welcome addition to the series. I found the soundtrack could be a bit boring, and it’s a shame that K. Rool has given up his thematic disguises, but these are small problems with what is otherwise a lovely little game.

Rating: 8.7/10


Buy it here.

(I now work for Smart Dating UK, don’t miss my first article for them!)

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Donkey Kong II

PictureWhen people think of the original Donkey Kong trilogy, they probably think it goes: Donkey Kong, Donkey Kong Jr., Donkey Kong 3 but they’d be wrong because, what a lot of people don’t know is, there is actually a Donkey Kong II. This game was a Game & Watch exclusive, there was never an arcade or NES version, and this probably is a big part of why it’s been mostly forgotten. But, I have to say, this is probably my favourite Donkey Kong Game & Watch game.

Story-wise, it seems to be a repeat of Donkey Kong Jr.; Mario has kidnapped Donkey Kong (that man seems to have a nasty habit of doing that!) and so Donkey Kong Jr. sets out to rescue him. I guess a slight difference is that, this time, rather than putting DK in a cage, he held him in place with chains (one on each limb).

The game takes place across two screens, which is quite nice. You have to get Donkey Kong Jr. up to the top of the trees where Donkey Kong is held, tossing keys up along the way so that you can unlock the four padlocks which are keeping him trapped. What I quite like is the fact that you have to go through the level in both directions (both up and down) as it makes a nice change from the other early games in the series. There’s also a nice mixture of nature and technology, with electrical cables mixed in with the branches of the tree, and I find that quite cool. At times the difficulty does feel a bit unfair though, as there are so many enemies that it seems like there’s nothing you can possibly do to avoid them.

A controversial opinion, I’m sure, but this is actually my joint favourite of the early Donkey Kong games. The gameplay feels fast, it’s fun to replay and the graphics don’t look bad. What’s especially impressive is that it achieves all that as a Game & Watch title. Rating: 6/10

Buy it here.

(Don’t miss today’s Finger Puppet Show!)

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Donkey Kong Jr.

PictureEveryone knows the original Donkey Kong, but its sequel Donkey Kong Jr. is perhaps a little more obscure. Nonetheless, this is an interesting piece of Nintendo history, featuring the debut appearance of the eponymous Donkey Kong Jr. and a very rare villainous depiction of Mario.

The game is a direct sequel to the original Donkey Kong and is Mario’s revenge against Donkey Kong for his earlier kidnapping of Pauline. Mario locks Donkey Kong away in a tiny little cage and Donkey Kong Jr. goes through four different levels in order to rescue his father. It’s very short, but, you can go through it again and again in order to get high scores (in both a normal and a hard mode) and there’s also a two-player mode where you take it in turns with somebody else to go through the levels.

It’s a nice enough little game but there’s not much to it and it does have its downsides. Donkey Kong Jr. moves really sluggishly and dies really easily. Of course, touching enemies will hurt you, as with many games, but falling really short distances also kills you and often you’ll jump a distance that seems perfectly fine only to be annoyed when he dies. On the subject of jumping, it feels like he’s really bad at it too, he barely leaves the ground. I think he probably has the exact same level of mobility as Mario did in the first game, but for some reason it feels much worse for Donkey Kong Jr. perhaps because he’s bigger. Sadly, having the only playable character be so cumbersome has the knock on effect of making the whole game feel rather slow, which is a shame.

So, it’s nice to play the game and know that it (much more than the first Donkey Kong) is the seed from which the spectacular Donkey Kong Country series later grew, but as it is, this is nothing more than a curiosity for the fans.

Rating: 5.9/10

Buy it as part of the compilation Donkey Kong Classics here.

 

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Donkey Kong (Game & Watch)

PictureWhen Donkey Kong became a big success for Nintendo, of course they wanted to release a version for their Game & Watch range so that people could play it ‘on the go’. Sadly, the technology to simply port it onto a portable device did not exist at the time and so the game was completely remade as a Game & Watch title. This had its upsides and its downsides.

As is the case with most Game & Watch games, there is only one level now and it’s kind of like a combination of the first and last levels of the original game. You use ladders to climb up onto girders and have to avoid rolling barrels as you do so. Eventually you get to the top where you have to turn on a crane with a switch and swing on its hook in order to sever the cables which are keeping up the platform that Donkey Kong is standing on. So many aspects of the original game are lost, which is a shame. On the other hand, however, this one level is now much more detailed; rather than just looking like girders in a black void (as it originally did) the events of the game now very clearly take place on a construction site and you can even see the skyline of a city in the background.

But while the level itself may look nicer, all of the characters look very weird (even in the box art, as you can see!). Mario looks like a generic Game & Watch man, Donkey Kong looks has a very weird face and Pauline (who is actually part of the background) is just a really bad doodle of a woman. The gameplay is also much jerkier and unnatural, making it often hard to time things, but then all of these things are to be expected of any Game & Watch title due to the limitations.

Once you’ve beaten Donkey Kong, you can continue to play through again and again to increase your high score and I actually prefer the Game & Watch score system over the original (it’s more fun), but other than this and another few minor improvements (it’s quite nice to see such an old double screened game too), I think this is a game you’ll only enjoy if you’re a big Nintendo, Mario or Donkey Kong fan.

Rating: 5.5/10

Buy it here.

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Watchmen by Alan Moore

PictureAlan Moore’s Watchmen is a standalone graphic novel, which takes the superhero genre and tries to play it as realistically as possible. The result is something which is very pleasing and something which can be enjoyed both by fans of the genre and those who are unfamiliar with it.

The titular Watchmen are a group of superheroes who are publicly known and used by the government, and none of them are really the paragons of morality that you’d classically associate with superheroes. Perhaps the most disgusting of the group is one called The Comedian, a character who is immensely unlikeable and who commits a wide variety of atrocities throughout the story. My favourite, meanwhile, is Dr. Manhattan a man who, after some mistake in a science experiment, has become virtually omnipotent. Dr. Manhattan is very interesting because he knows everything that is going to happen, including what he is going to do, so he can only do what he knows he is going to do as he is bound by causality to do so. At one point he comments that for him, all of his life is happening at once, and he can duplicate himself to do multiple things at the same time, and, as I’m sure you can imagine, this makes him seem un-human to some, especially his romantic partner, who feels quite alienated by it. A lot of the team are shown to struggle with things like that, and it makes them all rather endearing characters.

I must warn anybody who’s going to read this, though, that it is rather a depressing story. There’s rape, the murder of innocents, the deaths of main characters, war crimes and all manner of other horrible things. All of this is against the backdrop of the 1980s fear of nuclear war and we’re constantly told how the cold war is escalating and how a nuclear strike is becoming more and more likely. But this feeling of doom, this sense that the end of the world could come at any moment, gives the whole thing such a great atmosphere and feeling of tension that it can be hard to put down.

So, on the whole, I’d say this is well worth a read. The only downsides, for me, were the fact that it became a bit too depressing at times and that there was also the occasional boring period.

Rating: 8.4/10

Buy it here.

(Don’t miss today’s Finger Puppet Show!)

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