Accidental Pervert

Posted on March 28, 2016 by Adam Randall

I recently decided that I should try to go swimming at least once a week. Not only is this a good form of exercise (which I need more of) but it also helps me to combat my disliking of being undressed around others. It is exercise for the mind and body all at once! However, things didn’t go quite so smoothly the first time I went.

The Bath swimming pool, if you ask me, is a little hard to navigate; once I’d stepped out of the men’s changing room, it wasn’t clear to me where I should go to find the pool. I slowly wandered forward and wondered if I was heading in the right direction. As I was wearing only my swimming costume, I was worried about coming out in the reception area or something.

Eventually a passed a woman. I noticed she was looking in my direction, so I looked towards her and smiled (as you do when you notice a stranger looking at you.) I then carried on slowly walking in that same direction. Oddly, I noticed that that woman was still looking right at me. I looked to her again to give her another friendly smile and this time I noticed that she was frowning at me. Why was this? Had I done something wrong?

I noticed that I had missed something crucial. The woman who was staring at me was actually naked. Then I realised I’d wandered into the woman’s changing room. I gave an apologetic smile, apologised and quickly turned around. A little while later I found the pool. As I swam, I kept worrying I’d get in trouble for what had happened and be asked to leave – I also couldn’t help but feel bad about my inadvertent invasion of that woman’s privacy! Thankfully, future visits have been less eventful. Since then, I’ve noticed the women’s changing room has been much more clearly signposted.

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Yoshi games:

Posted on March 27, 2016 by Adam Randall

1990: Super Mario World ¹Yoshi logo
1992: Super Mario Kart ²
1995: Super Mario World 2: Yoshi’s Island
1995: Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy’s Kong Quest ³
1996: Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars ⁴
1996: Super Mario 64 ⁵
1996: Donkey Kong Land 2 ⁶
1996: Mario Kart 64 ⁷
1997: Game & Watch Gallery ⁸
1997: Yoshi’s Story
1998: Mario Party ⁹
1999: Super Smash Bros. ¹⁰
1999: Mario Golf ¹¹
2000: Paper Mario ¹²
2001: Mario Kart: Super Circuit ¹³
2001: Super Smash Bros. Melee ¹⁴
2002: Super Mario Sunshine ¹⁵
2003: Mario Kart: Double Dash!! ¹⁶
2003: Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga ¹⁷
2004: Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door ¹⁸
2004: Super Mario 64 DS ¹⁹
2004: Yoshi’s Universal Gravitation
2005: Mario Kart DS ²⁰
2006: Tetris DS ²¹
2008: Super Smash Bros. Brawl ²²
2008: Mario Kart Wii ²³
2009: New Super Mario Bros. Wii ²⁴
2010: Super Mario Galaxy 2 ²⁵
2011: Puzzle Swap ²⁶
2011: Mario Kart 7 ²⁷
2012: Animal Crossing: New Leaf ²⁸
2012: Nintendo Land ²⁹
2012: New Super Mario Bros. U ³⁰
2013: New Super Luigi U ³¹
2014: Mario Kart 8 ³²
2014: Super Smash Bros. for Nintendo 3DS ³³
2015: Yoshi’s Woolly World
2015: Super Mario Maker ³⁴
2016: Minecraft ³⁵
2016: Super Mario Maker for Nintendo 3DS ³⁶
2016: Super Mario Run ³⁷

Parent Series:

Connected Series:

Footnotes:

  1. Yoshi is potentially rideable in almost every level.
  2. Yoshi is a playable character.
  3. Yoshi has a minor cameo.
  4. Yoshi is rideable in one area of the game.
  5. Yoshi has a minor cameo.
  6. Yoshi has a minor cameo.
  7. Yoshi is a playable character.
  8. Yoshi is playable in a remake of Manhole, and make non-playable appearances in remakes of Fire and Oil Panic.
  9. Yoshi is a playable character and one of the game’s levels is based on the series.
  10. Yoshi is a playable character and there is a stage based on the series.
  11. Yoshi is a playable character and one golf course is on Yoshi’s Island.
  12. Several Yoshis and characters from the series are non-playable characters.
  13. Yoshi is a playable character.
  14. Yoshi is a playable character and there are two stages based on the series.
  15. Yoshis are rideable in certain levels.
  16. Yoshi is a playable character and there is a race track based on the series.
  17. Yoshis appear as non-playable characters.
  18. A Yoshi is a playable party member.
  19. Yoshi is a playable character.
  20. Yoshi is a playable character and there is a race track based on the series.
  21. Yoshi appears in certain game modes.
  22. Yoshi is a playable character and there is a stage based on the series.
  23. Yoshi is a playable character and there is a race track based on the series.
  24. Yoshi is rideable in certain levels.
  25. Yoshi is rideable in certain levels.
  26. Yoshi appears in several puzzles.
  27. Yoshi is a playable character.
  28. A Yoshi within an egg appears as a piece of furniture.
  29. A new game, Yoshi’s Fruit Cart, is included.
  30. Yoshi is rideable in certain levels.
  31. Yoshi is rideable in certain levels.
  32. Yoshi is a playable character and Yarn Yoshis appear in one of the game’s DLC tracks.
  33. Yoshi is a playable character and there is a stage based on the series.
  34. Yoshi is both rideable and playable via Mystery Mushroom.
  35. Yoshi is a playable character in the Wii U and Nintendo Switch versions of the game and can be encountered online in all console versions.
  36. Yoshi is potentially rideable in almost any level.
  37. Various Yoshis are unlockable playable characters.
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R.I.P. Earl Hamner

Posted on March 26, 2016 by Adam Randall

Today was a sad day because today was the day that Earl Hamner died. Since I read his book Spencer’s Mountain in 2009, he has been my favourite author (or at least one of them, it fluctuates a bit) and I also enjoyed hearing him narrate every episode of The Waltons and knowing that he was the real-life version of John-Boy Walton, one of my favourite fictional characters. In 2013, I wrote a short personal essay called “Why The Waltons is Wonderful” and it was included in a book which was given to him on his 90th birthday. After that he sent me, and the other contributors, a lovely thank you via email. In the email he said that if any of us ever happened to be in his area, he would buy us dinner. Living in the UK, I thought my chances of being in his area were, sadly, quite low, but I always hoped that I would one day be able to take him up on that kind offer. Having dinner with people is probably my favourite thing to do, so you can image how much I would enjoy having dinner with one of my heroes! I also emailed him and asked whether he’d like to write a Trusty Water Blog post about writing and he said he was very busy, but he’d get around to it when he had a chance. Just a day or two ago a friend suggested I should send him another email. Of course, my connection to him is minimal, but I’m still very sad to know he’s no longer around. Still, his story, his life and his work will continue to inspire me.

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Sabre Wulf

Posted on March 23, 2016 by Adam Randall

Sabre WulfSabre Wulf is one of the very early games made by Rare during their Ultimate Play the Game days. You play as Sabreman and have to find four pieces of an amulet in order to escape from a labyrinthine jungle (avoiding the titular Sabre Wulf in the process.)

First things first, I just want to say, I love this game. It may be old and simple, but it’s fun and that’s what’s most important. The game allows you to move around in all directions and you’re essentially exploring a massive maze. Something about the old graphics (with a lot of black) helped to set the feeling of the mysterious jungle for me. There’s also no background music (just blips for sound effects) and I also think that that helps to set the tone of a secluded jungle.

The jungle is pretty huge and you may find it hard to find everything, but I think the difficulty added to my enjoyment. It never really felt too hard, but was satisfyingly difficult. Having said that, there were occasionally things which were a bit unfair: for example, Sabreman’s controlling is ever so slightly slidey, which occasionally meant that I died because he moved further forward than I wanted him to.

Throughout the jungle, you’ll find animals (like rhinos and hippos), deadly insects and a hostile tribe of people. There’s also the unstoppable Sabre Wulf, which is always after you. Of course, to keep himself safe, Sabreman has a trusty sabre which he can use to destroy smaller threats and to keep people and bigger animals at bay. There are also various plants you can eat, each of which have different effects on you and make you immune to the damage of enemies.

When you first play, it might feel too hard (and I certainly felt that way), but after a few tries you should get into the swing of things. It has no save feature (other than scores) so you’ll have to do it in on sitting, unless you’re playing an emulation, such as the one in Rare Replay. Other than a few things like that, for a game of its age, this is very good indeed and I feel like later (more popular) titles, such as The Legend of Zelda, owe it a lot.

Rating: 8/10

Buy it here as part of Rare Replay.

(Don’t miss today’s Finger Puppet Show!)

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Why Writers Might Not Want Writing Jobs

Posted on March 22, 2016 by Adam Randall

I’m sure for most writers out there, a writing job would be their dream form of employment. But, while I don’t doubt that it would be a perfect situation for some people, I also think that some writers may not like to have writing jobs and I am going to use this blog post to explain why.

I work full time as a writer and write thousands of words at work every single day. I write articles and generic text for web pages. When I get home I often experience the feeling of being “all written out” which leaves me less motivated to continue my personal writing pursuits. I’m quickly writing this blog post out now just before bed, for example, because I wasn’t exactly motivated for writing when I got home (since I had just been writing for hours already.)

So I think that there’ll be a lot of writers out there who might be better off if they didn’t have writing jobs. Let’s face it, most of the writing jobs that are going around are the kind of work that I do and there are probably only a small few who consider that a “dream” piece of writing work. You might then be doing that piece of less than ideal writing and pouring all of your creative energy into that and then not able to do your own projects.

Having said that, I certainly wouldn’t want any other job. Even though a lot of what I do is written in a very uncreative buisness-like tone, I still get the occasional opportunity to be very creative and I am very grateful for that. Even if I had much fewer opportunities for creativity in my work, it would still be a lot more than in something like answering telephones as a receptionist. While I would do other work, the creative freedom I have every day means that my work never truly feels like “work” and while a lot of my creative energies may be spent, I feel that it is a small price to pay. This is just something to keep in mind if you’re thinking of going into writing.

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The Structure of my Reviews

Posted on March 19, 2016 by Adam Randall

You may have noticed that I’ve posted a few video game archive pages along with my regular posts recently and I just wanted to take a moment to explain what I’m doing. As you may or may not know, thanks to a good friend of mine, I got a proper domain for my blog and also made the transition from Weebly to WordPress – having made this change, I am also reworking the archiving for my video game reviews (click “Video Game Reviews” to see how it’s shaping up) – a side affect of this is that it means these archive posts occasionally end up in the main feed.

I know that writing reviews is the kind of generic content that a lot of people like to write, but I like to think that my own have a somewhat unique edge. With my special pages which list all of the reviews and show how the different video game series are linked together, I hope to reflect the very interconnected way that I look at all art mediums. I try out a lot of new things when I find out that they have some kind of connection to something I know and like already and I hope this method for reviewing will encourage people to try new things too. Right now, I only do it with video games, but I’d like one day to have some kind of interconnected review collection for all media… It will take a lot of time to think out the best system though. I also need to start posting book reviews more regularly.  Anyway, basically, I just wanted to explain why archives were being posted here for now!

(Don’t miss today’s Finger Puppet Show!)

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Battletoads Arcade

Posted on March 16, 2016 by Adam Randall

Battletoads ArcadeAfter successful games on the NES, SNES, Game Boy and where ever else, the Battletoads series was given a little bit of a finale with Battletoads Arcade. Gameplay is roughly similar to the earlier games, but it tries harder to be bigger and better than them.

As always, the majority of the levels have you beating up loads of enemies as you try to get through levels. This is fun and this time it’s especially entertaining because the violence is absurdly over the top. Now the toads will pin down enemies and bash their faces in until loads of blood starts squirting everywhere. Yeah. It’s ridiculous. It’s hilarious.

The different levels often present different kinds of gameplay (for example, one time you’re flying with jetpacks, another you’re shooting enemies from within a vehicle) but generally it’s just fighting and it feels like there’s less variation than in previous games. This, for me, made the game occasionally feel a little boring. On the other hand, three-person co-op is always an option, which is nice.

One thing I have to say about this game is that if you ever try to play it in an arcade, you’re going to have to spend a fortune if you want to get to the end. The game was intentionally designed to kill you constantly, because there are bullets and enemies flying everywhere. This isn’t really a problem when playing an emulation like in Rare Replay because you’re given infinite continues, but I’m very sorry for your loss if you want to play “authentically.”

Overall, this is a fun game and I couldn’t help but smile at the ridiculously over the top violence and action. Occasionally things like bosses might begin to feel a bit tedious when they kill you constantly and the game does rather feel a bit short, but it’s still a good experience. Rating: 7/10

 

(Don’t miss today’s Finger Puppet Show!)

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John

Posted on March 15, 2016 by Adam Randall

Last week I was in Bristol visiting some good friends of mine. We visited an all-dessert restaurant (where I had a delicious ice cream sundae) and were then headed back to my friend’s flat to go and play Wii U games.

However, on the way to the flat we encountered a homeless man called John. He told us that he needed 40p for a bus he had to catch and asked if any of us could spare anything. I had lots of change and could easily afford to spare 40p, so, of course I gave it to him.

“Ah, you’re so stingey. I’m homeless, mate. Asking for 40p is just a euphemism. I want all of your money,” he said.

“Well, in that case why did you just ask for 40p? Honesty is always the best policy. You asked for 40p, so I gave you 40p,” I replied.

“Look, I’m homeless. Isn’t obvious that I need all the money I can get?” he asked.

“Well, I suppose so,” I said as I gave him the rest of the money in my wallet, “but you should really be more honest when asking people for money.”

“Ah, thanks, mate! You’re so kind,” he said, and he actually went on for quite a while. Thanking me, telling me how he’d learned an important lesson about honesty, hugging me and so forth.

“What’s your name?” he asked, eventually.

“My name is Adam Randall,” I said.

“And you?” he said to my friend Oscar Taylor-Kent, who had been awkwardly silent the whole time.

“I’m John,” said Oscar.

“John what?” he asked, hoping for a surname.

“Yes, that’s right,” he said.

He actually fell for that trick, but I thought it was quite a funny joke and couldn’t help laughing, making him realise he was being “wound up”. After that, he told us that he thought we were in the military and then that was about that. I found it quite funny that anybody thought I had some kind of military background and other than that, it was just an unusual encounter that I wanted to share.

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Super Mario games:

Posted on March 12, 2016 by Adam Randall

1981: Donkey Kong ¹Picture
1982: Donkey Kong (Game & Watch) ²
1982: Donkey Kong Jr. ³
1983: Donkey Kong II ⁴
1983: Mario Bros. (Game & Watch)
1983: Mario Bros.
1985: Super Mario Bros.
1986: The Legend of Zelda ⁵
1986: Super Mario Bros. 2 (The Lost Levels)
1987: Super Mario Bros. (Game & Watch)
1987: Mike Tyson’s Punch Out!! ⁶
1988: Super Mario Bros. 2
1988: Super Mario Bros. 3
1989: Super Mario Land
1989: Tetris ⁷
1990: Dr. Mario
1990: Punch-Out!! ⁸
1990: Super Mario World
1991: The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past ⁹
1992: Super Mario Kart
1992: Super Mario Land 2: 6 Golden Coins
1994: Wario Land: Super Mario Land 3
1994: Donkey Kong (Game Boy) ¹⁰
1995: Super Mario World 2: Yoshi’s Island
1995: Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy’s Kong Quest ¹¹
1996: Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars
1996: Kirby Super Star ¹²
1996: Super Mario 64
1996: Donkey Kong Land 2 ¹³
1996: Mario Kart 64
1997: Game & Watch Gallery ¹⁴
1997: Yoshi’s Story ¹⁵
1998: Mario Party
1999: Super Smash Bros. ¹⁶
1999: Mario Golf
1999: Donkey Kong 64 ¹⁷
2000: Paper Mario
2001: The Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Seasons ¹⁸
2001: The Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Ages ¹⁹
2001: Mario Kart: Super Circuit
2001: Luigi’s Mansion
2001: Super Smash Bros. Melee ²⁰
2002: Super Mario Sunshine
2002: Animal Crossing ²¹
2003: WarioWare, Inc.: Minigame Mania ²²
2003: Mario Kart: Double Dash!!
2003: Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga
2003: Donkey Konga ²³
2004: Mario vs. Donkey Kong
2004: Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door
2004: WarioWare: Twisted! ²⁴
2004: Super Mario 64 DS
2004: Yoshi’s Universal Gravitation ²⁵
2005: Mario Kart DS
2006: Game & Watch Collection ²⁶
2006: Tetris DS ²⁷
2006: New Super Mario Bros.
2006: Mario vs. Donkey Kong 2: March of the Minis
2006: Wii Shop Channel ²⁸
2007: Super Paper Mario
2007: Super Mario Galaxy
2008: Super Smash Bros. Brawl ²⁹
2008: Mario Kart Wii
2009: PiCOPiCT ³⁰
2009: Mario vs. Donkey Kong: Minis March Again!
2009: New Super Mario Bros. Wii
2010: Super Mario Galaxy 2
2010: Mario vs. Donkey Kong: Mini-Land Mayhem!
2011: Puzzle Swap ³¹
2011: Super Mario 3D Land
2011: Mario Kart 7
2012: New Super Mario Bros. 2
2012: Animal Crossing: New Leaf ³²
2012: Nintendo Land ³³
2012: New Super Mario Bros. U
2013: New Super Luigi U
2013: Super Mario 3D World
2013: NES Remix ³⁴
2014: Mario Kart 8
2014: Hyrule Warriors ³⁵
2014: Super Smash Bros. for Nintendo 3DS ³⁶
2014: Bayonetta ³⁷
2015: StreetPass Fishing ³⁸
2015: Yoshi’s Woolly World ³⁹
2015: Super Mario Maker
2016: Minecraft ⁴⁰
2016: Super Mario Maker for Nintendo 3DS
2016: Super Mario Run

Parent Series:

Spin-offs:

Connected Series:

Footnotes:

  1. Mario is the game’s playable character.
  2. Mario is the game’s playable character.
  3. Mario is the game’s villain.
  4. Mario is the game’s villain.
  5. A kind of Piranha Plants called Manhandlas appear as enemies.
  6. Mario appears as a non-playable character.
  7. Mario and Luigi appear in the game’s multiplayer mode.
  8. Mario appears as a non-playable character.
  9. Chain Chomps appear as enemies.
  10. Mario is the game’s playable character.
  11. Mario has a minor cameo.
  12. Mario, Luigi, Toad and Birdo can be seen in the crowd whenever there is an audience.
  13. Mario has a minor cameo.
  14. The game features remakes of Game & Watch titles which all now include various characters from the series.
  15. Bowser (as a baby) is the game’s primary antagonist.
  16. Mario and Luigi are playable and there are a couple of stages based on the series.
  17. A port of Donkey Kong can be played.
  18. Manhandlas, Thwomps and other creatures from the series appear.
  19. Cheep-Cheeps appear as enemies.
  20. Mario, Luigi, Peach, Bowser and Dr. Mario are playable and there are several stages based on the series.
  21. NES games featuring characters from the series are unlockable, such as Donkey Kong.
  22. Mario and other characters make various cameos in different microgames.
  23. Mario has a minor appearance on some of the game’s menus, music from the series can also be unlocked.
  24. Mario and other characters make various cameos in different microgames.
  25. Bowser is the game’s main villain.
  26. A playable port of the Game & Watch Donkey Kong (which features Mario) is included.
  27. Mario and other characters from the series appear in various game modes.
  28. Mario and Luigi appear and are partially playable on the game’s download screen.
  29. Mario, Luigi, Bowser and Peach are playable an there are several stages based on the series.
  30. Mario (and other characters) appear once certain levels are beaten.
  31. Super Mario characters appear in numerous puzzles.
  32. Piranha Plants and Bullet Bills appear with certain pieces of furniture.
  33. Two new games, Mario Chase and Luigi’s Ghost Mansion, are included.
  34. Various characters from their series appear in their NES forms and are “remixed” into new scenarios.
  35. Manhandlas appear as enemies and Chain Chomps can be used as weapons.
  36. Various characters from the series are playable and there are several stages based on it too.
  37. Bowser appears as part of some of Bayonett’s attacks. (Wii U version only.)
  38. Cheep Cheeps and Bloopers appear as fishes which can be caught.
  39. Bowser appears as a baby.
  40. Characters from the series are playable in the Wii U and Nintendo Switch versions of the game and can be encountered online in all console versions.
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Smartphone

Posted on March 12, 2016 by Adam Randall

I recently got myself a smartphone for the first time, and I love it! I’m not one to generally replace my phone on a regular basis and I got the phone I had before this in 2011, so it felt like time for a change. I’m very pleased to find all of the new features that the smartphone has and it’s also nice to see how user friendly it is. I’m sure it probably seems extra good to me because my previous phone had been held back for several months due to the fact that it was quite badly broken. What’s especially exciting for me is the potential that it bring to this blog: firstly, I am able to write blog posts on it, which means I shouldn’t have to miss updating during times when I may be away and, secondly, it gives me access to smartphone games, meaning that I can make my range of video game reviews just a little more comprehensive. I’m especially excited for Nintendo’s upcoming range. So apologies if this is a bit of a boring “update” post, but it’s something I’m quite excited about at the moment and wanted to share!

(Don’t miss today’s Finger Puppet Show!)

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